REUNION

"Jack!  Long time, no see!"

"Jesus, Christian.  Is that you?  Damn, you got thin."

"Yeah.  Have a seat.  I'll buy you a drink."

"Thanks."

"Hey, barkeep!  Two Millers!  Or is that too low class for you, Jack?"

"That's fine."

"Good.  I hate that snobbish shit you drink."

"Heh.  It's good to see this place still looks the same after all these years.  Warms the heart."

"Yeah.  So, how'd you get so thin?"

"Ah, you know.  I had to, if I wanted to lure the rich bitches."

"You still killing rich women?  I figured you would've outgrown that by now."

"It's where the fun is."

"It's way too much work.  You have to spend a whole bunch of time getting on her good side, seducing her and everything.  You should kill prostitutes and the homeless, like me."

"Christian, that is soooooo '96.  Besides, it's too easy to kill those who are less fortunate.  It takes skill to kill rich bitches."

"No, it takes time.  When I want to kill, I want to kill.  I don't want to waste time taking some rich bitch out to dinner in a fancy restaurant."

"It's called the Thrill of the Hunt, not that you'd know anything about that."

"Don't talk to me about the Thrill of the Hunt.  I like to taunt the police.  You know, write 'em letters, send 'em body parts, that type of thing.  Once, I sent them half a kidney and told 'em I'd eaten the other half."

"Please, you ripped that off from the Ripper.  Bor-ing!"

"I didn't rip anything off.  It's called an homage, okay?"

"Whatever you say.  Bartender!  Two more!"

"Don't you ever get tired of being, what do you call it?  Advent gardie?"

"Avant garde, and no, being on the cutting edge is the only smart place to be."

"Okay, let's talk about cutting edge.  Jack the Ripper killed whores.  That put him on the map."

"It's not because he killed whores.  It's how he killed them.  Very nice work, I might add, but I would love to see what would have happened if he had gone after high society ladies.  Scotland Yard would have had leeches on his nuts within an hour of the first kill."

"The whole idea of being a serial killer is release, not creativity.  And in order to find release, you have to avoid getting caught.  Why risk the rich bitches when you can kill someone no one cares about?"

"I think you're wrong.  Serial killing is about having fun, and it's just as creative as any other art form.  You have to be smart if you want to come up with things that shock people in these stalwart times.  That means you have to do things no one else has done before.  That's why Ed Gein is still popular today.  Do you realize how many people have ripped him off?"

"Yeah, but I'm sure you'll recall that Ed Gein got caught."

"So?"

"So, he didn't get to do much killing after that, did he?"

"I repeat, so?  He got caught.  His name has gone down in history.  Don't you want to be famous?"

"No.  I want to kill people.  It relaxes me, and just for a few minutes, I can forget about all the bad shit that made me who I am today."

"I don't know about you, but I made myself this way.  I wasn't raped or abused when I was a kid.  In fact, my life has been pretty pleasant."

"Then why do you kill people?"

"Because I like to."

"I guess I'll never understand you."

"I don't either, sometimes.  But hey, if the police3 ever catch up with me, maybe they'll get some shrinks to write books about me, trying to figure me out.  Think I could get . . . what's his name?  Vincent Bugliosi.  Think I could get him to write about me?"

"Who?"

"Never mind.  I have a date to meet.  I guess I'll see you around, huh?"

"Yeah.  Have a good time on your date."

"You betcha.  See you, Christian."

"See ya', Jack."