COOL SHIT 12-9-10

HELLBLAZER: CITY OF DEMONS #5: At first, this miniseries didn’t impress me all that much. John Constantine gets hit by a car and leaves his body. His ghost rides along with his body to the hospital, where he communes with the other ghosts around him. So what, right? There’s nothing special going on here. Just another paint-by-numbers horror story. Here’s the thing: that’s just the basis. Things spin out of control over the course of these five issues. Writer Si Spencer has a lot in store for us as seemingly ordinary people lose their shit and start murdering each other in the worst ways imaginable. Why?

We learned a few issues ago that it was no accident that Constantine wound up in that hospital. While the doctors worked at saving his life, they took some of his blood, and longtime readers of HELLBLAZER know that the blue collar mage’s red, red kroovy is unlike anyone else’s. You see, the demon Nergal once gave him a transfusion to save his life, and ever since, John’s blood has had strange properties. The hospital used his blood to give transfusions to other people in need, and they all went nuts and became more bloodthirsty than a lifetime’s worth of splatterpunk writers.


Here’s the thing, though: this whole thing was orchestrated by two scumbags who want to turn London into a city of demons by setting these lunatics loose. But they didn’t count on Constantine’s resourcefulness and his cunning. In this most recent issue, he deals with this despicable duo rather quickly, which leaves him with the problem of clean-up. He comes to a most unorthodox solution, one that could not be seen by even the most avid HELLBLAZER readers.

By the way, I posted the picture above for a reason. Read what he’s saying to the woman whose throat he’s slitting, and then go back to the monthly book. Vertigo is making a huge fucking deal about marrying Constantine off in the upcoming issue. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!