RANDOM THOUGHTS ON C2E2 2011

Geeks: you’ve been doing pretty well for yourselves in the pussy department. It used to be for every skinny, pimpled bastard, there was a mega-ton she-thing on his arm. Now, you’re swimming in quality pussy. Keep up the good work. Addendum: there are also far too many underage girls wearing next to nothing. Stop! Your time will come.



Is it just me, or is it getting too easy to put together a storm trooper costume? The same goes for you, Ghostbusters. If it’s too easy, it’s too common. If it’s too common, it’s not fun anymore. Speaking of which, I’m glad to say I only saw TWO Jokers this year. And ONE Captain Jack Sparrow. But that’s too easy, too. If you’re locked into this cosplay thing, then at least make it interesting for the rest of us.


Quidditch players: too easy. I’d mercilessly give you shit, but everyone else already does this for me. The thing that makes Quidditch cool is flying around on broomsticks. Reality: broomsticks don’t fly, so pretending to play Quidditch is LAME. This goes for you, too, lightsaber duelers. If there isn’t the danger of you losing a limb, it’s not cool.


Listen up assholes! Brian Azzarello is the best American comics writer working in the business today! Get in line to meet him, fer Christ’s sake! I’ll gladly make the sacrifice and wait. Let’s make this happen for Wizard World 2011, or whatever the fuck they’re going to call it.


My biggest regret of C2E2: not hanging out with Jon Lennon on Saturday. I was too busy running around, going to panels and meeting writers and artists. Granted, it was all for you (and for me and my books that needed signing), but at the same time, Jon was there all day, hanging around with Leo and Cliff, and I only got to see him at the end of the day, when he was exhausted and ready to go home.


Listen, all the mad, crazy bullshit aside, Jon’s a great guy. He gives out free books, and he’s super nice, and all he wants to do is get people to read and admire his art. He got a raw deal when he tried to get into artist alley. Since he didn’t have a website up, they wouldn’t let him get a table. What did he do? He showed up anyway and pimped his book by handing out free samples. The card below is what he was giving out. I don’t think he’ll be angry with me for posting it here (since he was giving them away to sell his book; check out the website below the comic), but you guys need to get out there and pick up PRODUCT OF SOCIETY. Remember, you’re about to read the work of a CANCER SURVIVOR.

Ah. And with that, I’m going on blog vacation. There are a couple of reviews in the can, but after that, nothing for at least a month. Or maybe until I’m ready to start posting the DUI Diary, which might be sooner than you think . . . .