SVENGOOLIE AT C2E2!

Come on! Admit it! Whether in his Svengoolie persona or as plain ol’ Rich Koz, you love the shit out of the guy. You loved him when you watched THE KOZ ZONE when you were a kid. You love him when he’s introducing old horror movies on channel 9, and you love him when he’s hosting THE THREE STOOGES.



But C2E2 didn’t put him in a very desirable place. Sure, he was a few tables over from Eliza Dushku, but for the most part, they put him in a place where B-level talent gets relegated. This was a place where you’ll find fans saying things like, “Hey, I remember that guy!” or “Why not meet him? He used to be someone.”


But Svengoolie is a Chicago legend, perhaps THE Chicago television personality. And sure enough, he had a hell of a long line. It was so long they had to put guards on it. They cut it in half across a corridor. It was easily the longest line I stood in at C2E2 this year . . . and it was worth it.


But you knew that. From where I stood, I could see the other celebrities in the area. You’d be surprised to know that a couple of actors from THE WALKING DEAD were there, and there was no one in line to meet them. Meanwhile, on the other side of me, I saw the massive line for Dushku. In fact, from my vantage, I could see her. Not as pretty in real life. Some people just have a face meant for TV, and she’s got it, but I’ve been with better looking women. I’m not criticizing her (or the women I've been with), but I am mentioning a disappointment.


Anyway, as I watched others go up to meet Svengoolie (and even more who just stopped by for pictures), I saw everyone walking away with autographed cards from him. I wasn’t going for that, no sir. I wanted something else signed.


As I drew closer, I noticed he wasn’t charging for autographs, which was just unheard of down here. Celebrities don’t let you go without taking you for at least ten bucks. No, Koz was signing for free.


I approached and asked him if he would sign my rubber chicken. “Gladly,” he said. He took great pains to do this, because the only flat surface on a rubber chicken is on the feet. As he worked his way from thigh to toe, I told him how much I enjoyed his work, whether he’s introducing horror movies or Three Stooges shorts.


“I have to wear a lot less make up for the Stooges,” he said.


I don’t know how he did it, but he managed to fit in both “Svengoolie” and “Rich Koz” on the chicken leg in a straight line, completely legible. I thanked him, shook his hand, and went on my way.


How many people do YOU know who have rubber chickens signed by Svengoolie? (Shut up, Monika.)