Monday, June 27, 2011
THE KNOT: TIE ONE ON A whiskey review
When it comes to alcohol, the Irish don’t fuck around. It’s all or nothing with this nation of drunkards (and the stereotype is true, as anyone who has been to Ireland can attest to; so is the one about potatoes). Sure, you’ve heard of Jameson and Bushmills. But have you ever heard of the Knot? No? Prepare for an education.
Coming in at 100 proof, this bottle of Irish spirits doesn’t have a lot of history on the label. Usually, whiskies that hail from the land of Eire come with some kind of ancestral story, but this one doesn’t even have something that says, “Since [PLACE DATE HERE].”
What it does have, however, is a demand, which reads as follows: “By cracking this seal of The Knot you accept that drinking is never to be taken lightly and promise to act in a responsible fashion—not like some blithering idiot. You promise to drink The Knot straight-up in a proper shot glass, rather than mixing it in some sort of novelty, tiny umbrella, fruit fiasco. And finally, you vow that you will never drink to anything that you are not prepared to go through with. If, in any way, you are not willing to abide by these conditions, by all means, please refrain from opening this bottle.”
Jesus! These people are serious! These three points set it apart from other Irish drinks like, say, Feckin’ Irish Whiskey. Regarding the third point: this goes without saying. Any boozer worth his salt will abide by it. As for the second point, this is the only way to truly enjoy whiskey. Why would anyone want to put it in a mixed drink?
The first point poses a problem. Someone willing to drink copious amounts of 100 proof whiskey is not someone who wishes to act responsibly. No, this is fuck-stuff-up, tear-this-mother-down kind of booze. But if they want to absolve themselves of illegal behavior, well . . . .
When one inevitably cracks open the seal, the first thing one would notice is the smell. Imagine if someone mixed Black Bushmills and Wild Turkey 101 together. A heady concoction, no doubt. And when one tastes these amber spirits, one notices that the burn is exceptional, yet there is somehow a quality of smoothness under it.
The only problem is, like Black Bushmills, it’s got too much fruit in it. Is there a helping of peat in this alcohol? Ah, but Ardberg also has a very peaty taste, almost like drinking a campfire, so it can’t be this. Coupled with the burn, it makes the taste more unpleasant than most harsh whiskies.
But at $18.99 for a fifth, one cannot complain. And it’s strong enough to get the job done quickly. Don’t fuck with the Knot. It’s dirty and will fuck you up. Heed the label well.
I took two sips then poured the bottle down the drain. The store where I bought it duped me by putting it in the whiskey section. It's really a liqueur.
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