COOL SHIT 2-2-12

THE BOYS #63: Listen up, motherfuckers. If you’re not reading this book . . . I’ve failed you. I don’t know what else I can say to get you on board. I think I’ve gushed about every issue of this book since I started doing Cool Shit. Well, if you’re still (somehow) on the fence, there are only two issues left after this one. A shit-ton of longtime characters die in this issue. High profile characters. The Homelander’s plan is finally in full swing as superheroes attack Washington. He does such an efficient job because he has tricked both the Boys and Vought into fighting each other while he goes off and kills a bunch of politicians. Butcher is his usual charming self, while Hughie makes a decision which might damn him. Frenchie suffers a little while the Female . . . well, she kicks the shit out of a lot of people, which makes her very happy. This book is so hot, it scorched my hands while reading it. We’re headed for an all-out, fucked-up, gorefest of an ending. Butcher’s going to Washington, you see, and he’s going to get his longtime wish: a final showdown with the Homelander, the superhero who killed the love of his life. Get your head out of your ass and read this book. It is hands down my favorite ongoing series. I haven’t been so excited about a series since, well, PREACHER.

LOCKE AND KEY: CLOCKWORKS #4: Speaking of books that will end soon . . . although don’t worry. Joe Hill’s not nearly as close to the ending as Garth Ennis is with THE BOYS. (This one has nine issues to go.)  As with the previous issue, we get more of the back story of the Locke family, and what exactly Rendell Locke did that irreparably fucked up his group of friends. The pieces are all falling together. We’re almost ready for the final stretch of this story, now that we know how Caravaggio became the creature in the well. It is Rendell’s final magical act as a child, to create a key that will give all of his friends a piece of magic to carry with them for the rest of their lives, even though it’s forbidden by the rules of the house in which he lives. Wait until you read his plan and how it gets fucked up. In case you couldn’t tell, this is my second favorite ongoing series.  (My third is THE WALKING DEAD, which is nowhere near the end, if ever they reach an ending point.)


And now, before I finish up, I’d like to give you another installment of SHIT SHIT. No, I’m not going to talk about that bullshit INFESTATION 2: TRANSFORMERS book, although I should. They’re actually advertising it as steampunk. The fucking nerve . . . . And I’m not going to talk about the new WINTER SOLDIER book. Doesn’t Brubaker write enough CAPTAIN AMERICA books? He needs another one? No, what I want to discuss is . . .

G.I. JOE: A REAL AMERICAN HERO: IDW really needs to bring a stop to this book. I thought it was a cool idea at first, seeing as how my second favorite series when I was a kid was G.I. JOE. Since the title was so popular, why not bring the original series back and pick up where they left off? Well, I now know why not. This is a nostalgia book, nothing more. The stuff that happens in it might have been cool to little-kid me, but it all seems kind of stupid to my adult brain. Also, we have three perfectly good G.I. JOE titles going right now, full of awesome stuff that I occasionally talk about here in Cool Shit. I’ll admit, it’s sometimes fun to see the old Cobra Commander in action, but that alone does not make this a good book. Sorry, Mr. Hama. I genuinely like your stuff, but just not this. Please stop.