THE CENTURY'S BEST HORROR FICTION #49: A review of "The Pond" by Nigel Kneale

Here we have yet another horror writer with a great reputation, but Pelan just chooses the wrong story to include in his anthology.



This one focuses around an old man who fishes for frogs in the slimy pond near his home. What does he do with them? He certainly doesn’t use them for food. No, he uses them for art. He kinda-sorta taxidermies them and poses them, as if they’re human beings doing human things. He then talks to them like a little girl would to her dolls.


Of course, the pond doesn’t like this, so it plots its vengeance. SPOILER ALERT: if you couldn’t guess, the pond decides to go the poetic justice route. It tricks the old man out to it and kinda-sorta taxidermies him, except it leaves its special mark on him: green slime in his beard. When a police officer discovers him posed by the side of the pond, he thinks the old man is still alive, so he grabs at his arm . . . which comes off and shoots out indigenous plants.


At first, this seems like just the kind of thing that would show up in EC comic books, but, well, let’s be honest. EC wouldn’t have wasted its time with boring shit like this. Stories like this are a dime a dozen, and the subject matter just refuses to engage the reader at all. Okay, the final image of the tale is pretty cool, and sure, the scenes where he's playing with the frogs are kind of funny, but who cares about the rest of the story? END OF SPOILERS.


Needless to say, it’s not worth a look, despite its brevity. Pelan keeps mentioning work by Harold Lawlor, a writer who almost makes it each and every year. Why not throw the poor bastard a bone? This would have been the perfect year for it. Perhaps Pelan felt that he needed Kneale in his anthology, but he couldn’t figure out where else to put him. Too bad he just doesn’t seem to earn his spot in this book.

[This story first appeared in TOMATO CAIN AND OTHER STORIES and can be read here.]