GOODNIGHT, FUCKERS #163: STAR WARS SPOILER, SO DON'T READ IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE MOVIE

Seriously, if you haven't seen the new Star Wars movie, you should skip this one. To be honest, I don't think it's a spoiler, but out of fairness I don't want to fuck around with it. See the movie before you read this. On the off chance that you don't know anything about the movie and want to keep that intact when you actually do see the movie.


You know, the new Star Wars has given me a lot to think about. I wish I could have an open discussion with people who have seen the movie around people who have also seen the movie so I don't have to worry about fucking it up for someone who hasn't seen the movie.


OK, I think I've pumped enough words into this. It won't show up on Twitter, but I think I've gone far enough so that Facebook won't quote me this deeply.


Earlier I sent out a Tweet stating this: "The new Star Wars gave me everything I wanted."


This is true. It did. But I wanted my Tweet to say something more. By this point I'm sure you all know that Luke Skywalker is in this one. On the off chance that you didn't know, I wanted to keep my mouth shut. What I really wanted to say in my Tweet is this:


"The new Star Wars gave me everything I wanted. Adventure, excitement and the Jedi who craves not these things."


I loved the new cast, and I expect many things from them. The villain is amazing. I've already heard the complaint that he's a pussy. He's not. He's a wannabe. Here's the interesting thing: HE KNOWS IT. He will never be as powerful as the person he wants to be, and he knows it. He commits a terrible act which will earn him infamy forever among the fans, but here's the thing: I think he feels bad about it. He doesn't want to feel bad, but he does.


Here's what I think will be the next movies: Luke will train his new padawan for a confrontation with the new villain in an attempt to turn the villain from the Dark Side to the Light Side. It will not work, and Luke will be cut down like Obi-Wan. The padawan will have to take over, but the padawan is too full of anger to be a good Jedi. The padawan will have to overcome the qualities of the Dark Side before the villain can be converted. And the villain will be, and the price is the villain's life. It hits all the marks, and if I were to write the next two movies, that's what I would do.


If I'm wrong, I would love to hear about it. What I just said makes total sense, but I am a huge fan of being surprised. I can't wait for the next one.