When I was a kid, around junior high and high school, my grandmother feared that I would get diabetes like her husband. I drank a lot of Coke back then, and since I couldn't afford my own shit, she decided that she would change up what she bought at the store.
She started buying Caffeine Free Diet Coke, and I had no choice but to drink it. It was vile. It was one of the worst things (at the time) that I had ever ingested. I fucking hated it. I loathed it. But I was stuck with it.
(Interesting aside: I ate McDonald's every night from my last year of junior high to my last year of high school. I wonder why she didn't care about that shit. When I graduated high school, I weighed 245 pounds and looked like Chris Farley in my graduation video.)
When I got my first job, I could finally afford something I really wanted to drink: pure, unadulterated Coca-Cola. I promised myself I would never drink Caffeine Free Diet Coke ever again. It was fucking glorious, but I eventually did get diabetes, and my blood pressure is through the roof. It was to the point where once a dentist refused to operate on me because my blood pressure was too high. I still, to this day, shock ER nurses with my 180/92 blood pressure. There's an ad at the train station which shows an old guy with a horrible scar over his heart. "This is what high blood pressure looks like." The listed blood pressure is a mere 145/80.
So yeah. I recently kicked the caffeine habit (again). And then the whole thing with my toe happened. Suddenly, I find myself needing to drink some kind of carbonated beverage. I'd restrict myself to water, but for some reason it gives me heartburn if I drink it all day. I need something else to go with dinner. Here's the problem: almost all carbonated drinks that don't have sugar are loaded with caffeine.
Except for one. Oh yeah. Guess what I drank with dinner tonight. You bet. And it's still as disgusting as I remembered it.
Yeah, I've been thinking about my health recently. I was doing such a good job before the toe amputation. If I were one to believe in a higher power, and I don't, but if I did, I would have no choice but to believe that this higher power wanted to send a message to me, and that message was to not try and be healthy. Don't be healthy, or I'll take more toes. Don't worry, like I said I'm not one to believe in that kind of thing. Besides, it sounds kind of crazy. So I'm supposed to spend the rest of my short life giving in to temptation and losing pieces of my body as I got older? Eh . . . no thanks.
I'm working on quitting fast food again. I did so well for so long, but I relapsed. My plan is to also get to the point where the only sugar I get in the course of the day is my beloved Tang in the morning. Diabetes can take everything, but it will take Tang away from my cold dead fingers. And yeah, I'm trying to drink less booze. I'm up to a handle every three days. I think it's time to cut back. I want it to be a weekend thing only.
This also means I'm going to have difficulty sleeping. I guess it also means that I will be posting more GOODNIGHT, FUCKERS. Hence, this thing that you're reading right now.
So get used to hearing from me at the end of every night. Unless I fuck up again. Let's hope I can keep to the straight and narrow-ish.
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