It has been a long time since I've spent a day without drinking. It used to be a weekend thing, or something for a special occasion. And then I developed these horrible headaches that it turned out were caused by an exposed nerve in one of my teeth. The thing is, I couldn't sleep without downing a significant amount of alcohol. The pain is gone, but I found out that booze helped me sleep pretty fucking well. I'm an insomniac, so getting to sleep 100% of the time really helped me.
The thing is, my blood pressure has skyrocketed as a result. I make nurses and doctors uncomfortable when they put the cuff on my arm and take my resting pulse. There are times that I can see my pulse. Not by looking at a blood vessel or anything, but because my eyes throb.
There were a few nights recently when I went to bed without drinking, but that was because I was in the hospital and had morphine instead. People who drink excessively every day, like I do, sometimes get a physical addiction to booze. If you go cold turkey, you have a seizure and die. It happened to that one actor from True Blood, the guy who played Lafayette. The last time I was in the hospital, a doctor told me that I don't have any alcohol in my body, so I didn't have the physical addiction. I didn't have to do my reduction plan.
As luck would have it, I don't have money and won't until next Friday. Therefore, I can't afford booze. Now's as good as any time to give this a shot, so to speak. I'm not trying to quit, but I need to seriously reduce the amount of booze I drink. Maybe get it back to weekends and special occasions. Not this weekend, though. I'm broke as a joke.
Doug Stanhope does this bit about trying to sleep sober and how horrible it is. I identify with that bit a lot. Tonight's the first night. I suspect that I will get maybe an hour of sleep, and I will want to murder the world tomorrow morning. Just be glad that I don't have nukes. All I have is a fart gun.
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