So I just finished Gore Vidal's 1876, and it is yet another reminder that our political system has been fucked since day one. I have done some preliminary research, and so far as I can tell he is being his usual dedicated self to American history. I haven't dug deep yet. I suspect I will soon. But tonight isn't really about that.
Tonight is about honesty in politics.
Some of you may remember George Carlin's bit about how full of shit our system is. So much so that if you were to remove that shit, the system would fall apart. I wholeheartedly agree with this assessment.
I've said it before, and I'll say it again. Anyone who wants to be a federal politician can't be trusted. The job is shit. There is very little pay for a shit-ton of responsibility. The only perk is power and, as a result, graft. These people are not to be trusted. And there is no solution because humanity isn't altruistic. Ever.
Cynical? You bet. If Paul wasn't my middle name, I'd wager it would be "cynicism." But cynics aren't just assholes. Well, I am. I can't speak for others. But I know this much: if I wasn't paying attention, I probably wouldn't be so cynical.
So tonight will be a personal lesson passed on to anyone who cares to read this. Granted, I didn't learn this lesson under the best of circumstances. It was during a US Government class in high school. The teacher, who had a very unfortunate name that I won't repeat here, was also a girls swim instructor. Aaaaaand he got busted fucking one of his students. Aaaaaand she got pregnant. But hey, he still had his job. It's like, I don't know, no one cared? Regardless, this is what I learned from his lesson.
He decided to hold a fake election. He broke up the class into three groups and said each group had to pick one of us to run for president. The other groups swiftly made their decision. I don't remember what my group did, but since I've always been a volunteer, I suspect that after some back and forth I suggested myself and no one objected. Here's the thing, though. I demanded that we run an honest election. I wanted to be the guy who won without lying. Even then I despised bullshit politicians.
I won't go into what my opponents did. They weren't even close to honest. They lied, cheated and stole, quite literally. There is no hyperbole involved in this. I liked them as people, but as soon as they turned into "politicians," they played so dirty that if I were their parents I would have grounded them.
I believe in integrity. I may be an asshole and a dipshit and a fuckface, but I believe in being truthful and honest, warts and all. I made campaign promises that, if it were an actual election, I would have fought to fulfill. If you have no integrity, there is no reason for people to trust and love you. At least, in theory.
I got my ass handed to me. When voting happened, I came up dead last. Because Carlin is right. No one wants honesty in politics. Ask Samuel Tilden from 1876. He fought for honesty in politics, and while he may have won the popular vote, he got fucked during the electoral process. BECAUSE THERE IS NO HONESTY IN POLITICS.
That was a hard lesson to learn. I spent a good long time thinking about that one. That, I think, was the moment I realized that there was no hope for American politics. We won't have an idealist that will save the day. No saving grace. Nothing.
Most Americans are like Ellsworth in Deadwood: "Goddammit, Swearengen. I don't trust you as far as I could throw you. But I enjoy the way you lie."
I enjoyed the idea of PREZ from DC when I was younger. The best depiction is actually from Ed Brubaker, who probably doesn't even remember his touch on the character. Prez is an 18-year-old who gets elected president during the hippie era. He is just such a savior idealist that I wanted to see in American politics. And like my wish, he's a fictional character.
A while back I suggested that maybe we needed a new Constitution. That's probably not going to happen. But maybe if it did . . . no. Politicians have one goal and one goal only: graft. Gimme gimme gimme NOW. And I'll let you have what you need. In all likelihood.
And people wonder why my opinion of the human race is so low.
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