I did it again. Deleted a full GF, no editing needed. For a different reason. Next week is going to be very bad for me. Something terrible is going to happen, and I know what it is. And there's nothing I can do about it. Yes, it's on the list of things that will make me drink again. It's currently the second most likeliest thing to do the trick (number one is losing my bad foot).
The day it will happen next week is going to be two years and three hundred and three days since my last drink. There will not be two years and three hundred and four days. When it happens, I'm going to drive straight to the Corner Cottage and surprise the hell out of a lot of guys there who probably thought I'd died.
In the scenario I'd just deleted, I talked about skipping the good shit and going directly to Wild Irish Rose. I'm sure even in this economy it's dirt cheap. Not even having the decency to send myself off to the drunk tank on quality bourbon. But when it happens next week, I'll get a bottle of Wild Turkey 101, my old friend. I can always throw my life away on the cheap shit later.
I'll go back to my Elmhurst house, and if the locks haven't been changed, I'll take up residence on that broken down couch again and drink myself through the night. If the electricity hasn't been shut off, I'll be able to plug my phone in and watch some of my shows while doing so. I hate watching shit on my phone, but it'll get me through the night.
The next morning, if I've left myself any hair of the dog, I'll self-administer it and go to 7-Eleven to seek out Monster. I'll get the one with the sugar. Fuck it. By the time I'm in Joliet I'll still be hungover, so I'll stop in at McDonald's for a Double Cheeseburger. Those are the perfect cure for a hangover. By the time I'm home, I'll feel normal. Hell, I might not throw my life away on Wild Irish Rose. If Loudermilk can start over, so can I. Day 1 might happen. So might day 2. I'm sure it will. I'm not entirely stupid. Maybe falling off the wagon will smack some sense into me.
This dread is like a rock in my guts. Maybe I should just get the bottle now.
No. There's a slight chance the thing won't happen. I'm talking a 0.9999999% chance, but I could pull off a miracle. Anyone remember my DUI Diary? What did I say? Always roll the dice. I rolled them then and am the only person I know who was arrested for DUI and was found not guilty.
So yeah. I'll roll the dice.
Two Goodnight, Fuckers remaining . . .
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