Today there was another fuckin' art heist in the news. AGAIN.
I sense a pattern. And I would not be surprised to discover that these stolen works are all going to an oligarch auction. They're the only fuckers on the planet right now with the money to afford the merchandise. And holy shit, are they rolling in dough right now. The Trump presidency has served its purpose: to make the rich richer beyond their wildest jerkoff fantasies.
Since they suddenly have a bunch of money, why not splurge on original artwork by the masters? The museums won't sell? Well, fuck it. Let's get someone to steal all this shit, and we'll pull our puds in a wallet-measuring contest over it.
Who's going to stop them?
Do you think Peter Thiel has cockslapped the Mona Lisa? Is it possible that Larry Ellison masturbated to the Venus de Milo? Or on her? Has Zuck marveled at the weirdest Picassos and thought, man, those are so realistic, so I must have them on my walls to remind me about what humans are like?
I'm going to uncharacteristically leave Musk alone on this one. He strikes me as someone who does not give a single solitary fuck about art.
Hell, maybe the Mona Lisa in the Louvre isn't the real one. Maybe it's a dummy and the real one is in Bezos's underground compound. At least it will be safe when we launch mutually assured destruction later this year when WWIII isn't going so well.
By this point, I kind of look forward to it. At least everyone will calm the fuck down.
And if, by some miracle, I'm horribly mutated into a 'Fifties SF nightmare monster instead of being vaporized or poisoned by radiation, I'll do my best to meet Trump when he emerges from his bunker. I hope you all will do the same.
Yes, I've been depressed. Why do you ask?
No comments:
Post a Comment