COOL SHIT 11-10-11

THE DUNWICH HORROR #2:  Fuck, I forgot to write this one up.  I'll have to do it from scratch.  You know how I mentioned in my review of issue one how Lansdale was bringing HPL into the 21st Century?  Well, as any true Lovecraft fan knows, the Mistkatonic University has a copy of the dreaded Necronomicon.  However, it's falling apart, so they scan it into their computer system and put it online for anyone to read.  Lovecraft himself would have found that ghastly.

JENNIFER BLOOD #6:  Yep, my Garth Ennis streak continues.  You know how Jennifer's been killing all of her questionable uncles in very extreme, nasty ways, saving the worst for last?  Well, she's at the last one, and all he gets is a mere shot to the guts.  Jennifer sits nearby and tells him the entire story of how she got to be the way she is.  Ennis has pulled a KILL BILL on us with this one.  But the true star is Jack, Jennifer's neighbor, who has followed her to the scene of the crime with intentions of fucking her.  Boy, is he in for the surprise of his life!

COOL SHIT 10-13-11

THE STAND: THE NIGHT HAS COME #3: I don’t bring this one up here enough. Honestly, I don’t think I need to. It’s just as good as the book, really. In fact, most of it is the book, Stephen King’s direct words. But the images really are spot on, way better than the TV mini-series. For this alone, you should really be reading this book. It brings THE STAND to life in a way no one else could do, certainly not a movie director. There’s a lot of ground to cover, so it’s abrupt in places, but it’s really a fine, dependable read. Give it a shot.

THE CAPE #2: What is this? A father/son edition of COOL SHIT? At first I was iffy on a sequel to Joe Hill’s THE CAPE. It was an excellent story that really stood on its own. But this new series is really good as we see Eric sink to all new lows. How can a guy who learns he has the ability to fly become such a douchebag? Christ, he’s willing to slit his own mother’s throat and set his brother on fire, simply because he’s jealous. And he’s supposed to be our protagonist? Yeesh.

JENNIFER BLOOD #5: A week can’t pass without me bringing up Garth Ennis. With this issue, we finally find out why Jennifer is killing all of her uncles. Apparently, she’s a daddy’s girl, and can you guess what her uncles did to her old man? To say they pulled a Julius Caesar on him is an understatement. Read this book and see the ugliest knifing you’ve ever seen. Even moreso, read this book to see the most brutal axe murder ever put to the page. Ennis keeps topping himself when it comes to savagery. Perhaps he should start writing CALIGULA after Lapham’s done . . . .

COOL SHIT 5-5-11

AXE COP: BAD GUY EARTH #3: This mini-series comes to a happily-ever-after ending, much like a lot of children’s adventures do. (Except for Sockarang’s Mom, may she rest in peace). More insane childish play from six-year-old writer, Malachai Nicolle. It makes me want to break out my old toys and have a few adventures of my own. The best part? President Zombie Bear Cop. I guarantee you will never come across anything like that in another book, not even in GOD HATES ASTRONAUTS. Well, probably.

JONAH HEX #67: Remember how, in my “review” of the movie, JONAH HEX, I said that having Hex wanted was a stupid idea and that it only ever came up to serve a short-time plot in the comic book series? Lo and behold, this month’s JONAH HEX has the scarred bounty hunter wanted (at a more respectable $1,000). This time, some pox-infested lunatic has cut up his own face and has started slaughtering women and children, pretending to be Hex so he can ruin the man’s reputation and hopefully get him shot in the process. Hex, of course, doesn’t take kindly to this plan and aims to do something about it . . . .

JENNIFER BLOOD #3: Garth Ennis’ Jen-Jen continues cutting a bloody swathe through the mobsters who did her wrong. We get a few more hints at what they might have done to her and her family, but still nothing concrete. This month’s gangster comes to a very, uh, gutsy end. [INSERT CRYPT KEEPER CACKLE HERE.] My favorite scene: when Jennifer’s neighbor corners her in the bathroom with his pants down, and she fantasizes about what she’d like to do to him. Then, her actual solution had me rolling on the floor, it’s that good. Why aren’t you reading this series? Am I not pimping it hard enough?

THE BOYS #54: Okay, I’ve been silent on this book for long enough. Wee Huey learns more about the secret history of the Boys from the main man himself, Mallory, over several glasses of whiskey. Holy shit, just flip through the pages of this book. There are so many words in here, it’s like Kevin Smith wrote this issue. It’s almost an actual prose story. But it looks like we’re finally going to learn a few interesting things about Butcher in the next issue. Stay tuned for more cool shit, folks.

COOL SHIT 3-10-11

I swear, I will not talk about the new issue of THE WALKING DEAD. Enough is enough. You guys know I love the shit out of the book, so . . . .

CINDERELLA: FABLES ARE FOREVER #2: The last issue I could take or leave, but this one kicks it up a notch. Let’s face it, who would ever think that international Fable spy Cinderella’s arch-nemesis would be Oz’s own Dorothy Gale, pigtails and all? The sucky thing is, most of this story is told in flashbacks. This happens so often that I forgot what the actual story is. Still, this is Dorothy as you’ve never seen her before. And who would have thought she’d be a villain? Jesus fuckin’ Christ.

JENNIFER BLOOD #2: What can I say? I just can’t get enough of Garth Ennis’ ass-kicking housewife. This one starts out with just about the funniest parody of TITANIC ever (see above). As I read about this guy (Jennifer’s next uncle/target), I couldn’t help but think of Saddam Hopper from PREACHER: GOOD OL’ BOYS. We’re still in the dark as to why Jennifer is doing these things, and to complicate the whole scene, she now has to deal with a lecherous neighbor.