[My final comic book review for the Elmhurst College Leader.
It wasn’t the last thing I would do for them. They invited me to write a few
pieces for the summer edition. Some of them will be reprinted here. Others are
so irrelevant to me that I’ll keep ‘em in the vault. It’s funny. When the last
issue of Preacher came out, I didn’t really think about this review, but a
couple of things stick out. The line about Jesse had better be dead before
Tulip wakes up: yeah, that came true. Sort of. The other thing is my invitation
to the student body to take over my role as a comic book reviewer. Guess what:
no one wanted the fucking job. I’ll bet if I did this today, they would line up
for it. This is from the May 8, 2000 edition. Just a couple of weeks later, I
would graduate with a Bachelors Degree in the Arts.]
There’s no doubt about it: Garth Ennis is the greatest comic
book writer working in the business. Steve Dillon is, due to the recent death
of Steven Hughes, the greatest comic book artist working in the business. Their
comic book, Preacher, is the best title in the business.
Unfortunately, it’s coming to an end this July.
True to Preacher history, Ennis and Dillon are keeping
everything completely charged with tension in this last story arc, Alamo. Preacher #63 (part 5 of 7) brings us one of the
most horrifying moments in the comic’s history, if you know the characters
well. Ennis starts the issue out with the Rev. Jesse Custer talking with
longtime girlfriend, Tulip, about the best and worst days of his life. The
worst, as any loyal Preacher reader will know, is the day Jody shot Tulip in
the head. In order to get Jesse off His back, God gave Tulip life again to show
Jesse how much He cares. (He really doesn’t, He’s just scared Jesse’s going to
beat the hell out of him.) Now, as Jesse and Tulip talk (naturally, in bed),
Tulip reveals that God never saved her at all because “God’s a bastard.”
Suddenly, blood is pouring down her face, and the back of her skull is a pulpy
mess.
Luckily for Jesse, the image is just a dream, but it comes
out of nowhere, and for people who have known these characters for years, it is
a genuinely scary moment. Another moment only loyal readers will appreciate is
when Jesse breaks one of his promises to Tulip by leaving her to go face the
bad guys (this also happened way back in the third year of Preacher). Not only
does he leave her, he also drugs her to make sure she can’t follow him into the
danger he’s about to put himself into. All that can be said is that Jesse
better be dead when she wakes up, because if he isn’t, she’s going to
eviscerate him. (It should be noted that last time he did this, Tulip
handcuffed him naked to a bed for hours on end while she went to hang out with
a friend.)
Another character in very hot water is the unfortunate Hoover. He’s been through
a lot. After he arranged for his boss to be anally raped (he thought he was
buying him a woman), he was nearly killed. In fact, Starr has always treated
him harshly despite his innocent ways. When he confronted Jesse, the reverend
used his Word of God to make him count grains of sand on a beach until he
reaches three million (Hoover
spent years out there, going insane). Now about a hundred pounds lighter and
lacking a great deal of his teeth, he still has his innocent (if lunatic) ways.
He plays a joke on Starr, which results in Starr getting black rings around his
eyes from binoculars before going in to prep his army (about two dozen men;
Jesse, Tulip, Cassidy, and the Saint of Killers killed the rest of them) for
the final battle to be held at the Alamo. Needless to say, being embarrassed in
front of his own men has set Starr off on a rampage which will most likely end
with Hoover’s crucifixion, which is really too bad, considering of all the bad
guys in the history of Preacher, he is actually incapable of evil. He can’t
even bring himself to swear.
The ultimate high of this issue, though, is Jesse’s last
talk with John Wayne. To anyone who grew up watching the Duke kickin’ butt on
TV, seeing Wayne
in Preacher is a real treat. When he pulls Jesse’s father’s words out of Jesse,
there is no one who wouldn’t want John Custer as a father. “Don’t take no shit
off fools . . . an’ you judge a person by what’s in ‘em, not how they look. An’
you do the right thing. You gotta’ be one of the good guys, son; ‘cause there’s
way too many of the bad.” Those are hard words to live by, and the only thing
to do is try. Not even Jesse, who is one of the last true American heroes left
(oddly enough, written by an Irishman), can live up to those words (after all,
he did leave Tulip twice). There is no better feeling in the world than to hear
the Duke utter his last words to Jesse: “Hell, pilgrim, I’m just a . . . a
broke-down, wore-out ol’ cowboy . . . but this broke-down, wore-out ol’ cowboy
wanted ya ta know: He’s prouda’ ya.” And then he’s gone, walking off into his
final sunset.
Speaking of sunsets, this broken-down, worn-out ol’ college
student is graduating, which means the spot for comic book reviewer is open for
next fall. If any of you pilgrims got the sand to step up to a job writing
reviews that most people won’t even read, then you better let Grand Journalism
Wizard Wiginton know. Sure, no one will probably read it aside from Wiginton
and editors, but you can win state conference awards, and you’ll be known as
the second comic book reviewer at any college in Illinois ever. Of course, it’s completely
understandable if you don’t have the balls . . .
Remember to be a good guy. There’s way too many of the bad.
Got it? Good.
