A while back, when I was Future Booze Jesus, I was asked if Charlie Sheen really was "winning." Considering new information, we now know he was diagnosed HIV positive around the time of the whole meltdown. Would that change my opinion?
That presents an interesting question.
First of all, the fact that Charlie is HIV positive is NONE OF OUR BUSINESS. He only went public because some scumbag was blackmailing him. Considering that, there is really only ONE question: how responsible was Charlie with this information? In other words, did he tell women he slept with that he had HIV? Did he wear a condom? Or were there other precautions taken?
He says he's a responsible sort when it comes to this. I read that as him having confessed to his condition to sexual partners and taking precautions to make sure that his partners don't get it. It sounds really good, and I hope it's true.
At the same time, and this is JUST MY OPINION AND NOT FACT, he strikes me as the kind of guy who would rawdog it no matter what. If this is true, then I really need to revise what I said before.
Yet he's been sober for a fairly long time. If he says he was responsible, I think I believe him. Matt Lauer tried to rat-fuck him on his alcohol intake, even though he said it was every once in a while, as compared to a drink every once in a while.
Again, it is ONLY MY OPINION AND NOT FACT, but I believe that Charlie drinks more than he says. But I don't think it's enough to get him fucked up so that he won't take his meds and so that he'll rawdog a girl without telling her about his diagnosis. That's some hefty shit, and speaking as someone who can routinely be drunk as fuck, I don't believe it. There was a time that I suspected that I might have Hep C, and I warned any potential sexual partner about it. And if they were OK with that, I would not have sex without a condom. Luckily, I didn't have it, but as drunk as I was, I never took chances with someone else's life.
Speaking as someone who is fucked up, I think I believe Charlie. So let's calm down the witch hunt. If it turns out that he knew about it and lied about it, that's a different story, but from my perspective right now: this is not our business. It sucks that he had to go live with this info because of his blackmailers (could YOU deal with $10M worth of blackmail?). As it stands, I don't think we have enough info, but what we have so far means it's his business and the rest of us can go fuck off.
So let's let Wild Thing go for now until we have something that really, truly condemns him. Because from what I can tell, he's an angry man who gets fucked up and likes to lay pipe. The dude has been very honest with us in the past. I have no reason to think he wouldn't be honest now. Until we have something else, that's the end of the discussion.
Tuesday, November 17, 2015
Monday, November 2, 2015
GOODNIGHT, FUCKERS #152: WANT A FREE BOOK?
So many people have been telling me all kinds of crazy shit I did on Halloween during a boozy black out. I don't know what is true or not, or if it's true, how true it is. A contest just occurred to me. How many of you have read my book POOR BASTARDS AND RICH FUCKS?
Here's what I propose: I'm going to give out a free book of PB&RF to whoever can give me the best version of what I did on Halloween night. I don't care if it's true or not. The best story gets a free copy of the book. Add comments here or on my Facebook or Twitter or however you follow me. The deadline is when I get back from my Vegas vacation on Tuesday of next week. We'll say on Nov. 10 at midnight Central time. Good luck and have fun at my expense.
Here's what I propose: I'm going to give out a free book of PB&RF to whoever can give me the best version of what I did on Halloween night. I don't care if it's true or not. The best story gets a free copy of the book. Add comments here or on my Facebook or Twitter or however you follow me. The deadline is when I get back from my Vegas vacation on Tuesday of next week. We'll say on Nov. 10 at midnight Central time. Good luck and have fun at my expense.
Thursday, October 15, 2015
USED BOOKS AND POSTERS FOR SALE!
[EDIT: The sale is now over. Thank you to everyone who bought something.]
My life is waaaaaay too cluttered. I have to get rid of some stuff. I'm selling a bunch of books and posters. It's not because I don't love them, but it may be because I didn't get much out of them, or I have more than one copy, but they've got to go. I'm offering them up to those who follow me first. Whatever is left by Halloween is going to Half Price Books. If you're interested in a book, they're $2 each. The posters are .50. If you live close enough to pick them up from me, that's it. UPDATE: Due to circumstances beyond my control, I can no longer ship posters. Apparently USPS and UPS considers them "oddly shaped" and therefore cannot ship for less than $12. If you want to take that insane leap, I'll do it, but I somehow don't see anyone wanting that. You can contact me in the comments, Facebook, Twitter, etc., or you can send requests to tabardinnedgewoodent@yahoo.com. I hope you all find something you like, and first come, first serve.
Brooks , Owen Brooks , Terry Burney , Frances Cheshire ,
GiffGriffin ,
WEBHall , Karen
INDEPENDENCE
DAYK2
My life is waaaaaay too cluttered. I have to get rid of some stuff. I'm selling a bunch of books and posters. It's not because I don't love them, but it may be because I didn't get much out of them, or I have more than one copy, but they've got to go. I'm offering them up to those who follow me first. Whatever is left by Halloween is going to Half Price Books. If you're interested in a book, they're $2 each. The posters are .50. If you live close enough to pick them up from me, that's it. UPDATE: Due to circumstances beyond my control, I can no longer ship posters. Apparently USPS and UPS considers them "oddly shaped" and therefore cannot ship for less than $12. If you want to take that insane leap, I'll do it, but I somehow don't see anyone wanting that. You can contact me in the comments, Facebook, Twitter, etc., or you can send requests to tabardinnedgewoodent@yahoo.com. I hope you all find something you like, and first come, first serve.
Allbeury, Ted
-Shadow of
Shadows
Allingham, Margery
-Traitor’s
Purse
Anderson, Poul
-The King
of Ys: The Dog and the Wolf with Karen Anderson
Anscombe, Roderick
-The Secret
Life of Laszlo, Count Dracula
Arensberg, Ann
-Incubus
Austen, Jane
-Emma
-Northanger
Abby
Bacon-Smith, Camille
-Daemons,
Inc.
Barbour, David
-Shadows Bend with Richard Raleigh
Black, Campbell
-Letters
from the Dead
Blatty, William Peter
-Elsewhere
Block, Thomas H.
-Orbit
Bolin, MC
-Armageddon
-Gone in 60
Seconds
Bowker, David
-The Death
Prayer
Brand, Max
-Donegan
-Gun
Gentlemen
-The Guns
of Dorking Hollow
-The White
Wolf
Breslin, Catherine
-Unholy
Child
-The
Gatherer
-The Black
Unicorn
-The
Elfstones of Shannara
-The Sword
of Shannara
-The
Wishsong of Shannara
-Evelina
Carcaterra, Lorenzo
-Apaches
Caunitz, William J.
-Black Sand
-Pigtown
-Stronghold
Cline, C. Terry
-Reaper
Collins, Larry
-The Fifth
Horseman with Dominique Lapierre
Cook, Judith
-The Slicing
Edge of Death
Coyne, John
-The Legacy
Cunningham, Jere
-The
Visitor
Darnton, John
-Neanderthal
David, Peter
-Batman
Forever
Deaver, Jeffery
-The Coffin
Dancer
Defoe, Daniel
-Robinson
Crusoe
Dekker, Thomas
-The
Shoemaker’s Holiday
DiPego, Gerald
-Keeper of
the City
Doyle, Sir Arthur Conan
-The
Complete Sherlock Holmes
-The
Complete Sherlock Holmes vol. 1
-A Study in
Scarlet and The Hound of the Baskervilles
Edwards, Anne
-Haunted
Summer
Eidson, Bill
-The
Guardian
Elrod, PN
-A Chill in
the Blood
-The Dark
Sleep
Eulo, Ken
-The House
of Caine
Farmer, Philip Jose
-The Dark
Design
Farris, John
-Sharp
Practice x 2
Faulkner, William
-Light in
August
-Sanctuary
-The Sound
and the Fury
Franklin, Max
-The Dark
Gardner, Craig Shaw
-Buffy the
Vampire Slayer: Return to Chaos
Garrett, Randall
-Lord Darcy
Garrison, Webb
-Civil War
Curiosities
-More Civil
War Curiosities
Gems, Jonathan
-Mars
Attacks!
Gipe, George
-Explorers
Goddard, Ken
-Cheater
Goldsborough, Robert
-The Last
Coincidence
-The Core:
Semper Fi
-The Victim
Grisham, John
-The Firm
-Dark Debts
Hambly, Barbara
-Those Who
Hunt the Night
Hamilton, Laurell K.
-Burnt
Offerings
Harris, Richard
-Enemies
Harvey, Clay
-A Flash of
Red
Heffernan, William
-Ritual
Hemingway, Ernest
-A Farewell
to Arms
-The Old
Man and the Sea
Henley, Beth
-The Miss
Firecracker Contest
Herbert, Frank
-Dune
Messiah and Children of Dune
Herbert, James
-Moon
Hitchens, Dolores
-Stairway
to an Empty Room
Hogan, Chuck
-The Blood
Artists
Hogan, Ray
-Pilgrim
Horovits, Leslie Alan
-The Donors
with H. Harris Gerhard
Huggins, James Byron
-Cain
-Hunter
James, Henry
-The
Portrait of a Lady
Jensen, Carl
-20 Years
of Censored News
Karlin, Wayne
-Lost
Armies
Katz, Shelley
-The Lucifer
Child
Katz, William
-Death
Dreams
Kellerman, Jonathan
-The
Butcher’s Theater
Kerr, Philip
-Esau
King, Stephen
-Carrie
-Cujo
-The Dark Tower
-The Dead
Zone x 2
-Different
Seasons x 2
-Firestarter
-Misery
-Night
Shift x 3
-Salem ’s Lot x 2
-The
Shining
-Skeleton
Crew
-The Stand
-The
Tommyknockers
Kiraly, Marie
-Mina
Knight, Kathryn Lasky
-Mumbo
Jumbo
Kunstler, James Howard
-The
Wampanaki Tales
Kyd, Thomas
-The
Spanish Tragedy
LeFanu, J.S.
-Uncle
Silas
Leroux, Gaston
-The
Phantom of the Opera
Lowen, James W.
-Lies
Across America
Lucas, George
-Shadow
Moon with Chris Claremont
Luceno, James
-The Shadow
Lutz, John
-Bonegrinder
Martin, Malachi
-Hostage to
the Devil
Mason, Bobbie Ann
-Shiloh and Other Stories
McCarrick, Chris Shea
-Now You
See Her
McNally, Clare
-Somebody
Come and Play
McNally, Terrence
-Lips
Together Teeth Apart
Melville, Herman
-Moby Dick
-Typee
Menninger, Karl
-The Crime
of Punishment
Menzies, gavin
-1421
Mercado, Carol
-A Voice
from the Grave
Murphy, Pat
-There and
Back Again
Newman, Sharan
-Guinevere
Norton, Andre
-Here Abide
Monsters
Onetti, Juan Carlos
-Body
Snatcher
Parkin, Lance
-Dr. Who:
The Infinity Doctors
Pasternak, boris
--Dr.
Zhivago
Pelton, Robert Young
-The
World’s Most Dangerous Places
Pool, Daniel
-Dickens’
Fur Coat and charlotte’s Unanswered Letters
Pope, Alexander
-Essay on
Man and Other Poems
Prachett, Terry
-Guards!
Guards!
Presler, Jerome
-Last Man
Standing
Preston, Richard
-The Cobra
Effect
Profumo, Tony
-The Mime
Pulver, Joseph S.
-Nightmare’s
Disciple
Rainey, Rich
-Haunted
History
Ralston, Gilbert A.
-Ben
Ramos, Manuel
-The Ballad
of Gato Guerrero
Ravenswood, Fritzen
-The
Witching
Reuben, Shelly
-Origin and
Cause
Roby, Mary Linn
-When the
Witch is Dead
Rosen, RD
-Strike
Three, You’re Dead
Rucka, Greg
-Batman: No
Man’s Land
Salinger, JD
-The
Catcher in the Rye
-Franny and
Zooey
Saperstein, Alan
-Camp
Schmidt, Stanley
-Tweedlioop
Schoel, William
-Saurian
Scotti, RA
-The
Devil’s Own
Shakespeare, William
-Four
Tragedies (Romeo & Juliet, Macbeth, Hamlet and Julius Caesar)
-Henry IV,
pt. 1
-Romeo and
Juliet
Sharman, Nick
-The
Surrogate
Shaw, Bernard
-Saint Joan
x 2
Sheridan, Richard Brinsley
-The School
for Scandal
Simak, Clifford D.
-Over the
River and Through the Woods
Silone, Ignazio
-Bread and
Wine
Slater, Ian
-Showdown USA
vs. Militia
Stackpole, Michael A.
-A Hero
Born
Stanwood, Brooks
-The Glow
Stout, David
-Hell Gate with Ruth Furie
Straub, Peter
-Koko
-Shadowland
Tan, Amy
-The Kitchen God’s Wife
-The Kitchen God’s Wife
Teresi, Dick
-Lost
Discoveries
Thomas, Craig
-Firefox
Tine, Robert
-The Hand
that Rocks the Cradle
Traver, Robert
-Anatomy of
a Murder
Turtledove, Harry
-How Few
Remain
-The Two
Georges with Richard Dreyfuss
Vaughan, Robert
-Yesterday’s
Reveille
Walker, Dale L.
-Mavericks
Weaver, Michael D.
-My father
Immortal
Wharton, Edith
-The House
of Mirth
Whitten, Leslie
-The
Alchemist
Williams, Walter J.
-The Rift
Wolfe, Gene
-The Book
of the New Sun with poster
Woolfolk, William
-The Sendai
Wouk, Herman
-The Caine
Mutiny
-City Boy:
Adventures of Herbie Bookbinder
-Don’t Stop
the Carnival
Ancient Mysteries by Peter James and Nick Thorpe
The Book of Dzyan edited by Tim Maroney
Caesar’s Gallic Wars I-IV
Carnage at Christhaven from the Chrysostom Society
Great American Folklore
Independence Day by Dean Devlin, Roland Emmerich and Stephen
Molstad
The Legacy of Heorot by Larry Niven, Jerry Pournelle and
Steven Barnes
The Pendtragon Chronicles
Portable Steinbeck
Post Reader of Civil War Stories
QPB Treasury of North American Folktales
Scroll of Thoth edited by Richard L. Tierney
Seven Masterpieces of Gothic Horror
The Weird Wide Web by Erfert Fenton and David Pogue
STAR TREK
-Blood Thirst by JM Dillard
-Deep Domain by Howard Weinstein
-The Entropy Effect by Vonda McIntyre
-Final Frontier by Diane Carey
-Memory Prime by Gar and Judith Reeves-Stevens
-The Voyage Home by Vonda McIntyre
STAR WARS
-Attack of the Clones by RA Salvatore
-The Black Fleet Crisis by Michael P. Kube-McDowell
-Children of the Jedi by Barbara Hambly
-The Corellian Trilogy by Roger MacBride Allen
-The crystal Star by Vonda McIntyre
-Dark Tide by Michael A. Stackpole
-Darksaber by Kevin J. Anderson
-The Phantom Menace by Terry Brooks
-The Planet of Twilight by Barbara Hambly
-Rogue Planet by Greg Bear
-The Truce at Bakura by Kathy Tyers
-Vector Prime by RA Salvatore
-X-Wing The Bacta War by Michael A. Stackpole
-X-Wing Iron Fist by Aaron Allston
-X-Wing The Krytos Trap by Michael A. Stackpole
-X-Wing Solo Command by Aaron Allston
-X-Wing Wedge’s Gamble by Michael A. Stackpole
-X-Wing Wraith Squadron by Aaron Allston
THIEVES’ WORLD
-Beyond Sanctuary by Janet Morris
-Beyond the Veil by Janet Morris
-Beyond Wizardwall by Janet Morris
-The Price of Victory edited by Robert Lynn Aspirin and Lynn
Abbey
X-FILES
-Anti-Bodies by Kevin J. Anderson
-Fight the Future by Elizabeth Hand
-Ground Zero by Kevin J. Anderson
-Ruins by Kevin J. Anderson
POSTERS
BATMAN AND ROBIN
CARS
THE CRAZIES (remake)
ENCHANTED
FOLKS!
GHOST IN THE DARKNESS
HIDEAWAY
THE HOUSE OF USHER
THE INVADERS
LOTR: THE TWO
TOWERS
MASTER AND COMMANDER
MCBAIN
PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN :
CURSE OF THE BLACK PEARL
RELENTLESS 3
RESIDENT EVIL AFTERLIFE
SHAFT (remake)
SPLICE
SWITCH
THE TEMP
THE VANISHING
VIRTUOSITY
X-FILES
Sunday, October 11, 2015
HORROR AND BIZARRO BOOKS FOR SALE!
After the Printer's Row show in Chicago this year, there were a few Rooster Republic and StrangeHouse books left over. Rather than ship them back to the publishers, I offered to try to sell them at Flashback Weekend and Days of the Dead. Unfortunately, it turns out that I can't get into Days of the Dead as a seller. I'm told there's not even a waiting list for the show. So I'm going to sell them here if I can. What follows is a list of books I'm selling, some on my own behalf, some on behalf of the publishers. If you see anything you like, contact me in the comments or on Facebook or Twitter or wherever you follow me. If all else fails, contact tabardinnedgewoodent@yahoo.com. If you're buying one of my books, let me know if/how you want it inscribed.
-5 copies of TALES OF QUESTIONABLE TASTE by John Bruni
-2 copies of POOR BASTARDS AND RICH FUCKS by John Bruni
-1 copy of SLAUGHTERTOWN CIRCUS by KM Tepe
-1 copy of THE FARROWING by Jesse Wheeler
-1 copy of STRANGER DANGER by Kevin Strange and Danger_Slater (these are signed by Danger! Plus, this is no longer a StrangeHouse Book. This is going to be a collector's item!)
-1 copy of TALL TALES WITH SHORT COCKS vol. 3
-1 copy of I AM GENGHIS CUM by Violet LeVoit (because I got a second copy by being a part of the Fungasm crowdsourcing thing)
To sweeten the pot, I'm offering the usual convention deal: each book is $10, or 3 for $25. If you live close enough to me to pick them up yourself, that's it. If I'm shipping these out to you, add a dollar for each book you want. Cool?
-5 copies of TALES OF QUESTIONABLE TASTE by John Bruni
-2 copies of POOR BASTARDS AND RICH FUCKS by John Bruni
-1 copy of SLAUGHTERTOWN CIRCUS by KM Tepe
-1 copy of THE FARROWING by Jesse Wheeler
-1 copy of STRANGER DANGER by Kevin Strange and Danger_Slater (these are signed by Danger! Plus, this is no longer a StrangeHouse Book. This is going to be a collector's item!)
-1 copy of TALL TALES WITH SHORT COCKS vol. 3
-1 copy of I AM GENGHIS CUM by Violet LeVoit (because I got a second copy by being a part of the Fungasm crowdsourcing thing)
To sweeten the pot, I'm offering the usual convention deal: each book is $10, or 3 for $25. If you live close enough to me to pick them up yourself, that's it. If I'm shipping these out to you, add a dollar for each book you want. Cool?
Friday, September 18, 2015
HEY FUCKERS #24: MY THOUGHTS ON ATLAS SHRUGGED BY AYN RAND
[AS POSTED TO GOODREADS]
Whoo-boy. Where do I start with this book? If capitalism could have a wet dream, it would be ATLAS SHRUGGED. It is insane and outlandish and unreasonable. But it is also entertaining. I tend to enjoy Ayn Rand's work despite her best efforts. That's an odd thing to say, I know, but I'll try to break it down.
First, the things I liked: I really appreciate how well Rand gets corporations nailed down. If you ask someone who lives the corporate lifestyle a direct question, you will always get a long, rambling, meaningless answer, even if it's a yes or no question. No one wants to make any decisions because if they're wrong, they'll be blamed. Culpability is certainly shifted around constantly in this book until it nails some poor guy who didn't really have much to do with whatever went wrong. It's also like these corporate swine can't hold a decent conversation with intelligent people. There are quite a few instances of Dagny talking with someone, and it's like there are two conversations happening. Dagny asks direct questions, and the other person will ramble on about their life story, or whatever. They just have this narrative in their head that they have to get out, and poor Dagny gets stuck listening to it. I really identify with this kind of dialogue because I deal with it constantly every day at work.
The things I don't like are a bit hard to discuss because they start with something I do like. I agree with many of Rand's ideas, as I'm sure most creative people would. I'm a strong believer in independent thinking. I think taking other people's ideas to make it their own is a watery thing to do. I believe that if someone earns something, he or she should be able to keep it. Plus, if I may be so bold, I'm a bit selfish. As anyone who has ever dated me will attest, I tend to put myself before anyone else. I try not to, but that's my default setting.
The problem is, Rand takes it waaaaaaay too far. The heroes of this book are so fiercely individualistic that they don't care about anyone else (for the most part). They're so selfish that to help someone else is unthinkable to them. Not only that, but they are absolutely dedicated to the dollar. Their symbol is the dollar sign. It's even on their cigarettes. This is militant individualism, and it's too crazy for me. I do believe in helping people, after all. I do care about society. I do think that there should be safety nets because disaster can happen to any of us. I believe in pulling oneself up by the boot straps, as the old saying goes, but it's unhealthy to live your life dedicated to that kind of thing, and if you need a helping hand every once in a while, you should get it.
You know who makes the perfect Objectivists? Terminators. Not Arnold in the sequels, but Arnold in the first one. They are killing machines that stop at nothing until they achieve their objective, or they'll die trying. Remember that John Galt says he'll kill himself before letting the looters exert control over him.
The heroes are cold and inhuman. Ayn Rand, from what I understand, was the same way. Not only that, but I heard that she was buried with a garland in the shape of a dollar sign. So I guess people like that *can* exist. But generally speaking, I think they're rare (and possibly sociopaths).
The only time they're passionate is when they're making love, and Rand's description of these scenes makes it sound more like they're fighting each other. This is some violent sex, folks. In a way I kind of like it because it's not something I expected from her work. But on the other hand, I think it's kind of messed up because this is the only time in Dagny's life that she's submissive. I think it sends the message that strong women want to be treated like "just a woman" in bed, which I don't think is true, generally speaking. It's also out of character for her.
Rand uses interesting language in this book, though. I like the way that some of the tougher characters talk like sergeants in WWII movies. It's "goddam" this and "those bastards" that. Conversely I don't like the way that the looters, as she calls the villains, talk. They're all hysterical and screaming when something they don't like happens. And they all sound the same. They use the same phrases. Come to think of it, the heroes run together, too. There are two types of characters in this book: heroes and looters. The heroes all sound the same, and the looters all sound the same.
Two characters do not fall into either category: Cheryl Taggart and Eddie Willers. As a result, I actually like these two more than any of the other characters. In fact, I kind of identify with Eddie, mostly because I'm not a one-track-mind kind of guy. I also feel pretty helpless in the big picture, but I also find the situation funny. As America faces utter destruction from the looters and their red tape, Eddie utters a mad laugh, amused by the fact that no one is changing anything because they're all convinced that they're right.
Speaking of red tape, that's another thing about corporations that Rand gets spot on. I find there are way too many regulations in government, and they hamper real creativity. Yet once the red tape gets spinning, it's impossible to stop without destroying the system entirely. Which is pretty much John Galt's mission. I'd call that a spoiler in any other book, but this one is revealed 500 pages before the end, so to hell with it.
Speaking of length, the number one thing that annoyed me about this book is the sheer thickness of it. I'm not opposed to reading long books. When I was a kid, my favorite book in the world was Stephen King's THE STAND. The extended version, that is. My problem with Rand is that her prose is incredibly bloated. She needlessly repeats herself as if she was afraid that people would miss the point. Don't worry, Ms. Rand. We got it pretty solidly by the hundredth time you repeated it. Some characters get speeches that are pages long, and they're all rambling and repeating themselves a lot. For Christ's sake, the climax of the book is John Galt's 60 page speech. At the risk of coming off like Rand, let me repeat that so you can let it sink in: A 60 PAGE SPEECH. The edition I read is 1168 pages long. If I were to write this book, I think I could get it done in under 300.
The story is simple enough to do that. On the surface, it's about a woman who wants to build the best railroad she can in the face of her incompetent brother and her lovers' (that's not a typo) attempts at destroying America. Meanwhile, all the most competent men (and it's almost universally men) in the nation are being recruited by a mysterious man to live in a secluded valley from which they intend to rebuild America after they've let the looters destroy it.
This story actually takes a few odd turns, like when Dagny arrives accidentally at Galt's Gulch. (By the way, I should mention the completely insane idea that she piloted a plane to get there--and she doesn't know how to fly it, but she learns on the spot. That's how capable a person she is, I guess.) It has this weird feeling, like the end of THE WIZARD OF OZ. She's seeing all of these people who have disappeared, and it feels like Dorothy telling the farm hands that they were all in her dream. It's a pretty dreamy sequence, too. For a moment, I thought she'd died in the plane crash, and the afterlife turned out to be some kind of Capitalist Heaven. I wouldn't put that past Rand, even though there were still 500 pages to go in the book.
And I certainly didn't expect a book driven by ideas to have something as crude as a gunfight in the end. I do have a few things to say about that, but they're spoilers for real, and I try to avoid those for Goodreads reviews.
This is probably the longest I've written about a book since college, but I think I hit all the major points. I don't want to be as bloated as Rand, so I'm going to cut this off by saying this: for a book that aggravated me so much, I really enjoyed it. Despite all of its flaws, it's a good book, and Rand is a captivating writer when not endlessly repeating herself. If anyone else had pulled this BS, I would have quit on them. (Truthfully, I almost quit when I reached Galt's super-long speech, but I was already 1000 pages in, and I wasn't going to quit when I was that close to the finishing line.) As an added bonus, this book made me think a lot, and I really love a book that can do that.
WHAT I DIDN'T PUT INTO THE GOODREADS REVIEW (SPOILERS): There are two things that really turned me off about this book. One of them involved the gunfight in the end. It's one thing to be a cold, uncaring asshole, but it's another entirely to cold-bloodedly murder someone, as Dagny did in the end. When the heroes are trying to rescue John Galt from the looters, she holds a soldier at gunpoint. Granted, she gives him every opportunity not to get shot, and the dummy just couldn't give her a straight answer, but that's no excuse for shooting him in the heart. The other heroes get to commit a few murders, too, much in the same way she did. I'm a firm believer that people can be assholes. I, in fact, am an asshole. People can take me or leave me. That's their choice. But once you cross that line into hurting and/or killing people you disagree with, that's downright evil. That's some Hitler/Stalin-type shit right there. I get the idea that this is the kind of thing Objectivists think about when jerking off.
The other thing that bothered me was Eddie's demise. The last we see of him, he's a broken man, weeping on the railroad tracks before the monolithic Taggart train. I don't think he deserved that. I know that was part of Rand's heartless message, that even those who believe the importance of individualism despite being unable to do anything about the state of the world will perish with the looters. But still.
OK, that's it. Sorry if I bored the hell out of you. This is just something I had to get off my chest.
Whoo-boy. Where do I start with this book? If capitalism could have a wet dream, it would be ATLAS SHRUGGED. It is insane and outlandish and unreasonable. But it is also entertaining. I tend to enjoy Ayn Rand's work despite her best efforts. That's an odd thing to say, I know, but I'll try to break it down.
First, the things I liked: I really appreciate how well Rand gets corporations nailed down. If you ask someone who lives the corporate lifestyle a direct question, you will always get a long, rambling, meaningless answer, even if it's a yes or no question. No one wants to make any decisions because if they're wrong, they'll be blamed. Culpability is certainly shifted around constantly in this book until it nails some poor guy who didn't really have much to do with whatever went wrong. It's also like these corporate swine can't hold a decent conversation with intelligent people. There are quite a few instances of Dagny talking with someone, and it's like there are two conversations happening. Dagny asks direct questions, and the other person will ramble on about their life story, or whatever. They just have this narrative in their head that they have to get out, and poor Dagny gets stuck listening to it. I really identify with this kind of dialogue because I deal with it constantly every day at work.
The things I don't like are a bit hard to discuss because they start with something I do like. I agree with many of Rand's ideas, as I'm sure most creative people would. I'm a strong believer in independent thinking. I think taking other people's ideas to make it their own is a watery thing to do. I believe that if someone earns something, he or she should be able to keep it. Plus, if I may be so bold, I'm a bit selfish. As anyone who has ever dated me will attest, I tend to put myself before anyone else. I try not to, but that's my default setting.
The problem is, Rand takes it waaaaaaay too far. The heroes of this book are so fiercely individualistic that they don't care about anyone else (for the most part). They're so selfish that to help someone else is unthinkable to them. Not only that, but they are absolutely dedicated to the dollar. Their symbol is the dollar sign. It's even on their cigarettes. This is militant individualism, and it's too crazy for me. I do believe in helping people, after all. I do care about society. I do think that there should be safety nets because disaster can happen to any of us. I believe in pulling oneself up by the boot straps, as the old saying goes, but it's unhealthy to live your life dedicated to that kind of thing, and if you need a helping hand every once in a while, you should get it.
You know who makes the perfect Objectivists? Terminators. Not Arnold in the sequels, but Arnold in the first one. They are killing machines that stop at nothing until they achieve their objective, or they'll die trying. Remember that John Galt says he'll kill himself before letting the looters exert control over him.
The heroes are cold and inhuman. Ayn Rand, from what I understand, was the same way. Not only that, but I heard that she was buried with a garland in the shape of a dollar sign. So I guess people like that *can* exist. But generally speaking, I think they're rare (and possibly sociopaths).
The only time they're passionate is when they're making love, and Rand's description of these scenes makes it sound more like they're fighting each other. This is some violent sex, folks. In a way I kind of like it because it's not something I expected from her work. But on the other hand, I think it's kind of messed up because this is the only time in Dagny's life that she's submissive. I think it sends the message that strong women want to be treated like "just a woman" in bed, which I don't think is true, generally speaking. It's also out of character for her.
Rand uses interesting language in this book, though. I like the way that some of the tougher characters talk like sergeants in WWII movies. It's "goddam" this and "those bastards" that. Conversely I don't like the way that the looters, as she calls the villains, talk. They're all hysterical and screaming when something they don't like happens. And they all sound the same. They use the same phrases. Come to think of it, the heroes run together, too. There are two types of characters in this book: heroes and looters. The heroes all sound the same, and the looters all sound the same.
Two characters do not fall into either category: Cheryl Taggart and Eddie Willers. As a result, I actually like these two more than any of the other characters. In fact, I kind of identify with Eddie, mostly because I'm not a one-track-mind kind of guy. I also feel pretty helpless in the big picture, but I also find the situation funny. As America faces utter destruction from the looters and their red tape, Eddie utters a mad laugh, amused by the fact that no one is changing anything because they're all convinced that they're right.
Speaking of red tape, that's another thing about corporations that Rand gets spot on. I find there are way too many regulations in government, and they hamper real creativity. Yet once the red tape gets spinning, it's impossible to stop without destroying the system entirely. Which is pretty much John Galt's mission. I'd call that a spoiler in any other book, but this one is revealed 500 pages before the end, so to hell with it.
Speaking of length, the number one thing that annoyed me about this book is the sheer thickness of it. I'm not opposed to reading long books. When I was a kid, my favorite book in the world was Stephen King's THE STAND. The extended version, that is. My problem with Rand is that her prose is incredibly bloated. She needlessly repeats herself as if she was afraid that people would miss the point. Don't worry, Ms. Rand. We got it pretty solidly by the hundredth time you repeated it. Some characters get speeches that are pages long, and they're all rambling and repeating themselves a lot. For Christ's sake, the climax of the book is John Galt's 60 page speech. At the risk of coming off like Rand, let me repeat that so you can let it sink in: A 60 PAGE SPEECH. The edition I read is 1168 pages long. If I were to write this book, I think I could get it done in under 300.
The story is simple enough to do that. On the surface, it's about a woman who wants to build the best railroad she can in the face of her incompetent brother and her lovers' (that's not a typo) attempts at destroying America. Meanwhile, all the most competent men (and it's almost universally men) in the nation are being recruited by a mysterious man to live in a secluded valley from which they intend to rebuild America after they've let the looters destroy it.
This story actually takes a few odd turns, like when Dagny arrives accidentally at Galt's Gulch. (By the way, I should mention the completely insane idea that she piloted a plane to get there--and she doesn't know how to fly it, but she learns on the spot. That's how capable a person she is, I guess.) It has this weird feeling, like the end of THE WIZARD OF OZ. She's seeing all of these people who have disappeared, and it feels like Dorothy telling the farm hands that they were all in her dream. It's a pretty dreamy sequence, too. For a moment, I thought she'd died in the plane crash, and the afterlife turned out to be some kind of Capitalist Heaven. I wouldn't put that past Rand, even though there were still 500 pages to go in the book.
And I certainly didn't expect a book driven by ideas to have something as crude as a gunfight in the end. I do have a few things to say about that, but they're spoilers for real, and I try to avoid those for Goodreads reviews.
This is probably the longest I've written about a book since college, but I think I hit all the major points. I don't want to be as bloated as Rand, so I'm going to cut this off by saying this: for a book that aggravated me so much, I really enjoyed it. Despite all of its flaws, it's a good book, and Rand is a captivating writer when not endlessly repeating herself. If anyone else had pulled this BS, I would have quit on them. (Truthfully, I almost quit when I reached Galt's super-long speech, but I was already 1000 pages in, and I wasn't going to quit when I was that close to the finishing line.) As an added bonus, this book made me think a lot, and I really love a book that can do that.
WHAT I DIDN'T PUT INTO THE GOODREADS REVIEW (SPOILERS): There are two things that really turned me off about this book. One of them involved the gunfight in the end. It's one thing to be a cold, uncaring asshole, but it's another entirely to cold-bloodedly murder someone, as Dagny did in the end. When the heroes are trying to rescue John Galt from the looters, she holds a soldier at gunpoint. Granted, she gives him every opportunity not to get shot, and the dummy just couldn't give her a straight answer, but that's no excuse for shooting him in the heart. The other heroes get to commit a few murders, too, much in the same way she did. I'm a firm believer that people can be assholes. I, in fact, am an asshole. People can take me or leave me. That's their choice. But once you cross that line into hurting and/or killing people you disagree with, that's downright evil. That's some Hitler/Stalin-type shit right there. I get the idea that this is the kind of thing Objectivists think about when jerking off.
The other thing that bothered me was Eddie's demise. The last we see of him, he's a broken man, weeping on the railroad tracks before the monolithic Taggart train. I don't think he deserved that. I know that was part of Rand's heartless message, that even those who believe the importance of individualism despite being unable to do anything about the state of the world will perish with the looters. But still.
OK, that's it. Sorry if I bored the hell out of you. This is just something I had to get off my chest.
Wednesday, August 26, 2015
GOODNIGHT, FUCKERS #151: DEATH OF A WIP
If you are a fellow author, and you have been in my presence for longer than a half an hour, you're probably aware of my unending battle with the novel I'm currently writing. I've been kicking this beast for many, many months, and it just doesn't want to work for me. Every time I sit down, getting a mere 100 words is agonizing. Nothing wants to move forward. It just wants to marinate in a stand-still.
This sucks because I like the characters a lot, and I think it's an interesting situation. It's a vampire book, but I think I do some different things with the undead. That's what's killing me the most: I LIKE THIS BOOK. But it just doesn't want to come out of my head. I know where I'm going with it, but it just doesn't want to get there.
I've been beating the shit out of myself trying to figure out why that was, and today I think I have my answer. This book has no soul. It has no soul because it has no purpose.
Alan Moore once said that you should always have a purpose when you write something, and I agree with him. It doesn't have to be front and center, but it should be there. I write entertaining (I hope) stories, and if someone wants to peek around for a deeper meaning, it's there for them to find.
It's not there for this WIP. As a result, the whole thing seems hollow to me, and that's why it's fighting me so hard. I'm just going to have to lay this one to rest. Maybe I'll come back to it someday, if I finally figure out what to do with it, but for now? I have to move on to something else.
This blows. I wish I'd figured this out almost 50,000 words ago. I lost so much time on this, it shames me. It's like trying to fix up a car that Bigfoot rolled over.
That's all right, I guess. [He said without making eye contact.] I have other projects I've been working on. There's one that's been sitting on my backburner for a looooong time. Sometimes I write something to figure out how I stand on a particular topic, or how I would react if something were to happen to me. I've got a doozy like that on my mind, so I think I'll work on that instead.
RIP, vampire WIP. Or maybe not. Vampires tend to rise again, don't they?
This sucks because I like the characters a lot, and I think it's an interesting situation. It's a vampire book, but I think I do some different things with the undead. That's what's killing me the most: I LIKE THIS BOOK. But it just doesn't want to come out of my head. I know where I'm going with it, but it just doesn't want to get there.
I've been beating the shit out of myself trying to figure out why that was, and today I think I have my answer. This book has no soul. It has no soul because it has no purpose.
Alan Moore once said that you should always have a purpose when you write something, and I agree with him. It doesn't have to be front and center, but it should be there. I write entertaining (I hope) stories, and if someone wants to peek around for a deeper meaning, it's there for them to find.
It's not there for this WIP. As a result, the whole thing seems hollow to me, and that's why it's fighting me so hard. I'm just going to have to lay this one to rest. Maybe I'll come back to it someday, if I finally figure out what to do with it, but for now? I have to move on to something else.
This blows. I wish I'd figured this out almost 50,000 words ago. I lost so much time on this, it shames me. It's like trying to fix up a car that Bigfoot rolled over.
That's all right, I guess. [He said without making eye contact.] I have other projects I've been working on. There's one that's been sitting on my backburner for a looooong time. Sometimes I write something to figure out how I stand on a particular topic, or how I would react if something were to happen to me. I've got a doozy like that on my mind, so I think I'll work on that instead.
RIP, vampire WIP. Or maybe not. Vampires tend to rise again, don't they?
Wednesday, August 12, 2015
GOODNIGHT, FUCKERS #150: THE POST-CON DEPRESSION
This is a bit late in posting, but mostly it's because I've been super fucking busy. I just wanted to take a quick second to talk about something that I don't usually see writers discuss: the post-con depression.
There is something magical about a convention. It's exhausting because you have to perform for hours on end, doing your absolute best to sell your books (or, if you're fortunate enough, your table partner's books). Writing is an introverted thing; to suddenly be a book-slinging extrovert is hard to pull off for that kind of personality.
But a writer has to be both. When creating, a writer must be isolated and alone. Yet when selling, a writer must be outgoing and fun and adventurous. When you think about it, it's the perfect combination. It's the yin-yang personality all in one. It's actually a lot of fun because you get to talk with a bunch of strangers that are into the same shit you're into. Most times you don't even have to talk about your own work. You get to talk about cool shit you like, and if you sell a book, cool. That's the best part: talking about cool shit. That even extends to the fortunate few who have a table partner. At Flashback Weekend, I was lucky enough to have MP Johnson by my side. I could talk shop with him for hours on end because we've been at this for the same amount of time, and we have a lot of similar stories. Plus it helps that he's got a deep punk background and has some supercool stories. If you get the chance to work with him and you don't, you're a fool.
I'm wandering a bit from what I meant to talk about, but it's worth noting that hanging out and selling books with MP Johnson is fucking awesome, and it makes the post-con depression a little harder to take because even now, as I go to bed early to make it in time for my square job, I miss it. I miss it a lot.
By the end of Sunday, I was fucking exhausted. Yet I knew it was a rewarding experience, and not just because I sold a bunch of books. I took Monday off to recover, but when I woke up and realized that I couldn't go to Flashback and sell and talk and have fun because it was over, I felt a darkness wash over me. I didn't even want to get out of bed.
(Something else happened, and it hurts me waaaaaaay too much to talk about right now. Maybe someday, but it certainly added to my overwhelming depression that day.)
I don't want to write. I NEED to write, and I've been doing this for a long time. It's great to have the modicum of success I've had, and it's a harbinger of what's to come. But when I clocked into my square job on Tuesday, the finality crept in. I couldn't do the awesome shit I really had fun with because I had to work at a 9-5 (except in my case it's more like 5:45 am to 2:15 pm). I honestly believe I was meant to do these shows and sell books and talk to awesome people all day, every day. To be stuck dealing with a square job? It nearly killed me.
To be fair, my square job is pretty nice. Plus I recently got a promotion. More money, better hours. Not bad, right? But I would much prefer to be doing cons and meeting people and selling shit and--you know. The best is when you have an awesome fellow author to sit at a table with. I've done it with MP Johnson and Kevin Strange, two awesome dudes who never run out of awesome things to say, whether it be about past experience or the industry. I wish I had those guys attached to each hip, just to remind me of how cool the cons are when I'm not stuck with my square job.
I guess the whole point of this rambling piece is to say that I would much rather hang out at cons with awesome people than be stuck at my square job. I'd really like to make that happen before I die. Until then, I guess I'm going to stick it out through the dark times of my mundane life.
PS: For those interested, my grandfather is doing much better. They moved him to hospice, but he's been getting better. I think he might actually be able to come home. Better news: the VA shaved his head. For as long as I've known him (ie. my entire life), he's been trying to pull off the worst comb-over in history. My grandmother noted that he looks like Bryan Cranston on BREAKING BAD, and I couldn't believe her. Not until I saw him. Holy shit, he looks younger and tougher than he's been in a while. I think he might actually pull through this. I'm an atheist, but I thank you all for your prayers. Your thoughts. All the friends who offered to help me. Everything and everyone. I wanted #150 to be a blockbuster, but it doesn't seem like much. Yet at the same time, it does. I think all of the anniversaries have something to do with Gramps.
Thank you, and goodnight.
There is something magical about a convention. It's exhausting because you have to perform for hours on end, doing your absolute best to sell your books (or, if you're fortunate enough, your table partner's books). Writing is an introverted thing; to suddenly be a book-slinging extrovert is hard to pull off for that kind of personality.
But a writer has to be both. When creating, a writer must be isolated and alone. Yet when selling, a writer must be outgoing and fun and adventurous. When you think about it, it's the perfect combination. It's the yin-yang personality all in one. It's actually a lot of fun because you get to talk with a bunch of strangers that are into the same shit you're into. Most times you don't even have to talk about your own work. You get to talk about cool shit you like, and if you sell a book, cool. That's the best part: talking about cool shit. That even extends to the fortunate few who have a table partner. At Flashback Weekend, I was lucky enough to have MP Johnson by my side. I could talk shop with him for hours on end because we've been at this for the same amount of time, and we have a lot of similar stories. Plus it helps that he's got a deep punk background and has some supercool stories. If you get the chance to work with him and you don't, you're a fool.
I'm wandering a bit from what I meant to talk about, but it's worth noting that hanging out and selling books with MP Johnson is fucking awesome, and it makes the post-con depression a little harder to take because even now, as I go to bed early to make it in time for my square job, I miss it. I miss it a lot.
By the end of Sunday, I was fucking exhausted. Yet I knew it was a rewarding experience, and not just because I sold a bunch of books. I took Monday off to recover, but when I woke up and realized that I couldn't go to Flashback and sell and talk and have fun because it was over, I felt a darkness wash over me. I didn't even want to get out of bed.
(Something else happened, and it hurts me waaaaaaay too much to talk about right now. Maybe someday, but it certainly added to my overwhelming depression that day.)
I don't want to write. I NEED to write, and I've been doing this for a long time. It's great to have the modicum of success I've had, and it's a harbinger of what's to come. But when I clocked into my square job on Tuesday, the finality crept in. I couldn't do the awesome shit I really had fun with because I had to work at a 9-5 (except in my case it's more like 5:45 am to 2:15 pm). I honestly believe I was meant to do these shows and sell books and talk to awesome people all day, every day. To be stuck dealing with a square job? It nearly killed me.
To be fair, my square job is pretty nice. Plus I recently got a promotion. More money, better hours. Not bad, right? But I would much prefer to be doing cons and meeting people and selling shit and--you know. The best is when you have an awesome fellow author to sit at a table with. I've done it with MP Johnson and Kevin Strange, two awesome dudes who never run out of awesome things to say, whether it be about past experience or the industry. I wish I had those guys attached to each hip, just to remind me of how cool the cons are when I'm not stuck with my square job.
I guess the whole point of this rambling piece is to say that I would much rather hang out at cons with awesome people than be stuck at my square job. I'd really like to make that happen before I die. Until then, I guess I'm going to stick it out through the dark times of my mundane life.
PS: For those interested, my grandfather is doing much better. They moved him to hospice, but he's been getting better. I think he might actually be able to come home. Better news: the VA shaved his head. For as long as I've known him (ie. my entire life), he's been trying to pull off the worst comb-over in history. My grandmother noted that he looks like Bryan Cranston on BREAKING BAD, and I couldn't believe her. Not until I saw him. Holy shit, he looks younger and tougher than he's been in a while. I think he might actually pull through this. I'm an atheist, but I thank you all for your prayers. Your thoughts. All the friends who offered to help me. Everything and everyone. I wanted #150 to be a blockbuster, but it doesn't seem like much. Yet at the same time, it does. I think all of the anniversaries have something to do with Gramps.
Thank you, and goodnight.
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