Friday, August 26, 2011

GLORIOUSLY TRASHY: A review of DOKTORMENTOR #1


If you saw DOKTORMENTOR #1 on the newsstands, there is no chance you could walk past it without at least flipping through the pages. It is so over-the-top trashy that it’s surprising Rob Zombie has nothing to do with it. It’s a comic book, but the panels feature live-action photographs. Many of these photographs are, as you can imagine, pornographic.



The writer is so into getting us to buy that this is the actual journal of the man known only as Doktormentor that he (and there is little doubt that it’s a he) doesn’t even put his name on the book. The inside cover details a little background information which actually sounds kind of plausible until they get to the end. The idea is that during the War of 1812, the building was a military prison where sadistic serial killer Willie Keller was held. Naturally, he escaped and was never found. Later, the building was turned into a hospital, then a prison again for the worst offenders. Then, in the ‘Sixties, it was converted to a female only maximum security prison, and before long, inmates started disappearing. Then, Doktormentor’s journal was found, and within its pages we learn about his horrible experiments.


Yeah . . . are you sure Rob Zombie didn’t do this?


Over the first half of the book, we get to meet #510215, one of the inmates who has been strapped to a chair for Doktormentor’s pleasure . . . er, rather his scientific endeavors. (By the way, did you know that even panties in jail are black and white striped?) Nurse Nawdy prepares her for the horrors to come by, naturally, removing #510215’s clothes. She “tantalizes” the captive with tales of Doktormentor’s previous experiments, all of which went wrong and ended in death. Meanwhile, in the subplot (yes, there’s a subplot!), Nurse Nawdy is working with the local police to get Doktormentor thrown in jail because she has just learned that #510215 is her sister.


Nothing, absolutely nothing, is taken seriously in this book. The dialogue is so purposely godawful it would make even George W. Bush grimace. For example, Nurse Nawdy starts playing with #510215’s nipples and explains why: “By inducing sexual arousal before he pulls the switch, your own heightened sensitivity will keep your genitals intact. Otherwise, the blast of cosmoelectricity will fry your nerves causing breast and vaginal leakage.” Really? When #510215 is trying to escape her bonds and can’t, she says, “Can’t break free from this chair! There must be dental adhesive on these buckles. There’s no slipping or shifting, and no fear of falling out at an embarrassing moment.” And it really doesn’t help that the models are really, really bad at showing fear. #510215 goes through the book with a look of sexual amusement on her face. She might as well be saying, “Oh no! Don’t put that there! I might like it too much!”

But the best part is the second half of the book . . . WHICH IS IN 3-D! That’s right, the book comes with 3-D glasses so you can watch a girl hook herself up to a dildo machine and get fucked while reading the same kind of horrible dialogue as previously mentioned.


Most of you will probably think this is just the usual, boring garbage. You know how Dr. Dirty raises obscenity to a new level of art? DOKTORMENTOR does the same thing with trash. Make no mistake, it is trash, but it is the most glorious trash you will ever come upon.

THE DISTURBINGLY PERVERTED DIARY OF DOKTORMENTOR: JAIL BABE SURGEON #1
Writer: Doktormentor?
Models: Did this really happen?
Publisher: Shh! Productions
32 pages
$10

2 comments:

  1. THAT SOUNDS AMAZING!!! HOW DID I MISS IT!!!

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  2. I am actually the cover model strapped to the desk in issue #1! I am so glad you "enjoyed" it. Luckily I had nothing to do with the script writing, I played my part pretty well in Issue #2 and Issue #3 I thought. Issue #3 is my favorite!

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