COOL SHIT 2-24-11

AMERICAN VAMPIRE #12:  After Stephen King left this title a while ago, the story has kind of lagged a little bit.  It never became unreadable, but at the same time it didn’t have much of an effect on me.  And then this issue came screaming down the pike.  Skinner Sweet, sadistic gunslinger turned American vampire, is in a nostalgic mood, so he goes to a Wild West Show.  Some of the performers are people he used to know in the old days, but they’re aged beyond recognition and sporting origin stories with more lies in ‘em than a penis enlargement commercial.  He’s so disappointed by this drivel that he starts to leave when he hears the owner say that one of the performers, Dolly (an ex-sweetheart of Skinner’s), actually turned her beloved in to the law.  This is news to Skinner, and he decides to bring the “good ol’ days” back in a rather gruesome way.

In an unrelated note, am I the only one excited about Avatar’s forthcoming CALIGULA?  Jesus Christ, I’m so fucking hard my erection’s holding up my gut.  Avatar is the ONLY company with the guts to do a book like this.  And the commander-in-chief, William Christensen, is smart enough not to give it to someone like Garth Ennis or Warren Ellis.  They are the finest writers in the industry, but they would put too much thought and philosophy into it.  David Lapham, who has been doing an absolutely hedonistic run on CROSSED, is the perfect choice to write this book.  He’s not afraid to get down and dirty with unacceptable amounts of sexual gore, and as far as I can tell, he does it only for the shock of it.  Normally, that would turn me off, but Lapham has recently been turning his work into roller coasters of meaningless obscenity.  Who else could perfectly write CALIGULA?  (And don’t say Gore Vidal.  He did a wonderful job, but remember that he was working for Penthouse.)  I can’t wait for this one to hit the shelves, and neither should you!  I’ll be at C2E2 this year, and I hope the Avatar booth has a preview!

COOL SHIT 2-17-11

THE BOYS #51: I’m seriously starting to think I have to ban this title from Cool Shit. It’s too consistently good, and I know I’ve got to be boring you by blathering on like a fan boy. I can’t help it, though. Butcher’s a busy guy this issue, getting blackmail information on not one but two of his opponents. In Rayner’s case, it’s kind of sad, even though she completely deserves it. Monkey, on the other hand, continues to be one of the darkest comedy relief characters in the history of comics. The true star of this issue, however, is Ms. Bradley’s simulation. If the Boys ever went head to head against the Seven, only two people would certainly live, and a third is in question. If you think about it, you won’t be surprised by this result. Still, I wonder what circumstance they considered. By the way, a giant bulldog fucking an impotent athlete-cripple-fetishist is ALWAYS funny. Mr. Ennis, you once made the promise that this book would “out-PREACHER PREACHER.” Today, you delivered. Hats off to you, sir.

G.I. JOE/COBRA #13: As I predicted, this is indeed the last issue. Of all the Joe books, this was my favorite. It was a hard, ugly piece of work, but its chill always managed to find the core of my bones. I’ll miss it, but the ending is so perfect that to continue afterward would be nothing less than a betrayal of the story. Remember how on the cover of #12 they said that a major character would die in that issue? #13 rendered the teaser moot, considering how many major characters died in this one. (Shakespeare’s tragedies had more survivors, to give you an idea.) This one ends with a bang. Literally. Not to say that action took the center stage. As always with this title, philosophy underlies every thrown punch, every fired bullet. Every explosion triggered starts with an idea (and maybe a bit of Machiavellian maneuvering).

As a side note, IDW has a kinda-sorta sequel for this series planned. Now that Cobra Commander is dead (from last issue; I wouldn’t put THAT big of a spoiler in Cool Shit), there is a power vacuum, and everyone in Cobra wants to fill it. COBRA CIVIL WAR probably won’t be as awesome, but G.I. JOE/COBRA fills me with faith that it will at least be awe-inspiring.

COOL SHIT 2-10-11

THE TRANSFORMERS #16: Ultra Magnus vs. the new, improved, more-powerful Megatron. Thundercracker vs. Starscream. Brawn vs. Starscream. Bumblebee and Gears fucked up beyond all recognition. And humans attacking all Transformers, regardless of their affiliation. Things are cooking up in this book, folks. All right, fine. No one ever truly dies in the world of Transformers. They always find a way of coming back. Alliances have been shaken up, though; things may never be the same.

INCOGNITO: BAD INFLUENCES #3: It’s not often that we get a look into the heads of the other characters in this series (aside from Zack Overkill, of course), and Ed Brubaker gives us a peek in this issue. Though we don’t learn who he is through his thoughts, we learn a bit about the villain, about his attitudes and how he views the human race. We also learn a bit about Zoe’s past and how her father tried to instill optimism into her. “Everything begins with a wish.” We even get a vague walk through of Simon Slaughter’s thoughts.

But as always, Overkill is the star, and he makes a spectacularly bad mistake in this issue. This is what nostalgia gets you: broken promises and a lot of battered and broken bodies around you.