THE CENTURY'S BEST HORROR FICTION #58: A review of "That Hell-Bound Train" by Robert Bloch

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Between H.P. Lovecraft and Stephen King, no writer changed horror as much as Robert Bloch, so it is only fitting that he’s earned a place in this volume. Not only that, but one of his most powerful horror stories was chosen, “That Hell-Bound Train,” and while he might have found more than a little inspiration in the Chuck Berry song (yeah, here’s another example of a white man borrowing from Chuck Berry), it is still a hell of a riveting read.



Martin is the son of a hard-drinking railroad man, who taught him a song about That Hell-Bound Train. However, when his father dies on the job, and his mother runs away with a new husband, Martin does his absolute best to make it on his own in the world. Still, as he kicks around the country, doing odd jobs, wandering as a hobo, his old man’s song haunts him. He becomes obsessed with the kind of train that caters to “drunks and sinners . . . the gambling men and the grifters, the big-time spenders, the skirt chasers, and all the jolly crew,” even though he knows their destination isn’t all that fun. Despite this, he finds himself wishing he could have a meet with the devil. His life sucks, and he wants to make a deal with ol’ Beelzebub in order to make things better.


One day, while walking the rails, he hears a train coming up on him, and it stops in the middle of nowhere. The conductor, who wears an ill-fitting hat (perhaps because something on his forehead is pushing it up at an awkward angle), steps down, and they have a conversation. It takes no time before Martin realizes he’s talking with the devil, and here’s a prime opportunity to strike a deal.


But improving his life isn’t good enough. He’s got a plan to stick it to Satan and to thereby save his life from eternal torment in the fires of Hell. In exchange for his soul, he asks for the ability to stop time when he finally finds himself at the perfect moment of happiness. The devil agrees and gives him a pocket watch. When he is at his happiest, he is to turn back the knob, which will stop time. Martin laughs, thinking he’s gotten the best of Old Splitfoot, since the devil can’t collect his soul if he freezes time (and therefore never dies). The devil laughs and essentially says, “You got me.”


All right, maybe deal-with-the-devil stories turns you off. They should, as they are a dime-a-dozen and never very good. But what follows is not business as usual. Bloch gives us a new, original take on such tales. Oddly, it’s also kind of inspiring, which is unusual for a horror story.


Martin travels to Chicago and hustles for a while. Then, he realizes that he’s never going to find that moment of happiness if he hits up strangers for change and spends his evenings in flophouses, drinking bottle after bottle of whiskey. So he gets himself a job, and soon, he gets promoted. He gets raises. Soon, he can afford a decent place and a car, and shortly after, he starts banging easy chicks. The good life? Well, better. We’re almost there. So he starts going out on actual dates, and before long, he’s married to a nice girl. That moment of happiness? Almost. Not quite. He gets her pregnant, and he wants to stick around for his kid. He wants to see his son grow up. And even though he’s getting thick around the waist, and he’s losing his hair, Martin keeps chasing that moment of happiness, which he feels is right around the corner.


Then, he finds new excitement with a little bit of side-action, someone who makes him feel young, and again, he is tempted to turn the watch back and stop time. He doesn’t, because his happiness isn’t perfect yet. So he continues to fuck this other woman until he gets discovered. He loses everything except his job, and he tries to start over. Too bad he’s too old, and the simple pleasures don’t even register for him. Soon, his health is so bad that he knows he’s going to die any day, and he wants to turn the knob, just to rob the devil at the last second . . . but does he really want to spend eternity like this?


Holy shit, right? There is a lot in this story, a lot that people can actually use to change their lives. If you find that everything sucks, YOU CAN CHANGE IT. Did you notice what happened here? Martin improved his life without ANYONE’S HELP. Did the devil ever step in and help him out? No. This was all on Martin. The good, the bad, the ugly, it was all Martin.


And in the end, he realizes his folly. SPOILER ALERT: he’s near his death, so decrepit and weak that he knows he only has a few seconds left. He is tempted a final time to turn the knob, but he doesn’t. And the train stops by. The conductor steps down. And the devil confesses: this deal is pretty much a dime-a-dozen, and of course, no one has EVER turned the knob to stop time. Everyone always chases that moment of happiness that never exists, because it’s mythical. They already have their moment of happiness, they’re just greedy for more.


The devil takes him onboard, and since Martin was so affluent in his life, he gets to sit in the privileged section. And the devil sticks out his hand for the watch, because there’s always another fool to use it on . . . and Martin chooses that moment to turn the knob back.


That’s right, everyone onboard That Hell-Bound Train are stuck riding it for eternity, to never reach their destination. While Martin can’t save himself, he certainly puts one over on the devil, and Bloch manages to orchestrate this without ever compromising his artistic integrity. Think about all of those deal-with-the-devil stories that end with a deus ex machina, and then consider this masterpiece. END OF SPOILERS.


This is one of those stories that everyone who has any interest in the genre has read. There can’t be anyone reading this who hasn’t encountered it. If you are among the very few who haven’t, put it on your reading list, and then make it next on your list.


[This story first appeared in THE MAGAZINE OF FANTASY AND SCIENCE-FICTION and cannot be read online at this time.  Like "Pigeons From Hell," Lansdale adapted this story for IDW, too.  It was a lot more loyal to Bloch than Howard, so it's a fun read.]