The thing that sucked the most about getting into that car wreck? I had no intention of going out that day. I had dedicated myself to staying in and reading and writing instead. But I'd had a great job interview, and I thought I'd go out and celebrate before winter got too bad for reading at forest preserves. That's the part I regret the most. I really should have stayed home, and every fiber of my being said to stay home. But I ignored it and wanted to read outside before the snows came.
I was reluctant to post about this at first because it was a work in progress. The check cleared, though, and I went shopping for a car twice. The first time I failed because I hadn't gotten the payment yet. Despite the fact that I had a generous down payment--in cash--no one wanted to sell to me. I'm unemployed, and I just declared bankruptcy. I was persona non grata everywhere I went. The second time, when I intended to pay the full price right then and there, I didn't realize that it was Sunday. That's what happens when you're unemployed during the plague. You never really know for sure what day it is.
I should have a new car tomorrow, though, so I feel good about telling the story now.
I was headed south on York around Roosevelt, near the hospital. It was 40 mph, and it was about to go to 45, so I started speeding up. And then I did something stupid. I saw a guy running around in the opposite two lanes like a maniac. I thought for sure this guy was going to get hit by a car. I took my eyes from the road for a moment too long. I thought he'd gotten out of the car he had just run behind.
And then I looked forward and saw that he'd done something stupid, too. His car was on my side of the road, parked in the middle. I had enough time to stomp my brakes. I had enough time to look to my right to see if I could swerve out of the way. I couldn't. There were cars over there. I looked forward just in time to realize I was royally fucked.
And then boom. I hit the back of his car. The airbag exploded from my steering wheel and punched me in the face. Make no mistake, the airbag is not pleasant. They make it look easy in movies, but it's not. I haven't been punched in the face for a long time, and it felt exactly like this. I remember thinking in an irrational moment, hey, at least in my old age I know I can still take a wallop to the face. Then I thought, holy shit, are my glasses OK? The way it hit, my glasses should have been broken. Nope. I lucked out. My next thought was, I felt something moving in my mouth. Did this fucking thing knock my teeth out? I felt around, and no. Again, I lucked out. It was a piece of sandwich that had lodged under one of my tooth implants.
And then the horrifying idea hit me. What if this guy had his family in his car? Holy fuck, did I kill someone? Did I hurt someone? It twisted my guts up.
And no. I know what you're thinking. I was not drunk when this happened. It was daytime, and I was sober. My hangover had already ended just before that job interview. I was in my right mind. I just looked away from the road for a moment too long.
I got out of the car and saw the guy looking at the back of his own. I couldn't walk straight because my body shook too much. My hands trembled badly, and I'm pretty sure I was in shock at the time. He started complaining that he'd had the blinkers on, so why didn't I see them? Well, I did. About seven seconds too late. But in the middle of it, I think he realized that he should have parked on the shoulder. I then remembered I didn't have my mask on, so I went back to get it. He also took his own from his pocket.
The reason he'd done what he did was because he discovered that his rear license plate had fallen off into the other lane, so he'd pulled over to get it. He did get it, by the way.
We inquired about each other, and we were both fine. The only damage had been to our cars. I didn't know if we had to call 911 for that, and he didn't, either. I realized that, as I am a middle-aged man, and this dude couldn't possibly be 30 yet, I had to be the adult. I called 911, and they said if our cars still worked, and no one was hurt, we'd have to go to the closest police station to report the incident. Elmhurst was the closest, so I told him to follow me.
Only as we made the U-turn, and I made sure he was in my rearview, I realized that as unpleasant as the airbag had been, it would have been so much more worse without it. Considering the force with which I hit this car, I am certain my head would have broken against the steering wheel. I might not even be writing this right now without that airbag. Honda Civics. I recommend them. Tomorrow I hope to get another one as close to 2012 as possible without paying more than $8K.
We parked at the Elmhurst PD, and we took pictures of our cars. We went in and made the report. And naturally the system was down. We couldn't get official paperwork, which our insurance companies absolutely needed. Instead we got cards with our manually produced case number on it. We went back to our cars, and he was cool about it. Obviously it sucked, but what else could we do? He and I knew we'd both done something stupid, and we were fine with the insurance companies duking it out.
I made my report to my insurance. He was lucky enough to still be able to drive away, but my car stalled when I tried to start it again.
I should mention that the power on my cell phone was running low. And I have no problem with the insurance asking the same question in as many ways as possible before accepting the truth, but it was aggravating because I knew my phone could very well die. I lucked out with the tow. Usually it takes at least an hour for a tow truck to show up. For some reason they always send it from deep in Cook County. This one showed up earlier than expected. It took twenty minutes. Nice.
But the insurance company told me that a car rental would come by and pick me up to get my temporary replacement. Now, they had a location on the north side of Elmhurst that should have taken ten minutes, tops. I figured, maybe it was a busy day. Then, when I approached the forty-five minute mark, I started thinking I'd been abandoned. I called my insurance, and they said that the company has temporarily suspended this policy due to the plague. So no one was picking me up? Nope. And anyway, they'd contacted the company's location in Lisle, where they'd towed my car. The problem? Lisle is maybe forty-five minutes away. I freaked out and demanded some help from the Elmhurst location. No dice. My phone had 3% left.
I went back into the PD. They didn't have a phone I could use, but they lent me a charger and invited me to search around the lobby for a wall outlet. I found one next to the unneeded prescription drop off box, which meant I had to sit on the floor. The charger fit kinda-sorta, so I had to hold it in while I tried to figure out what the fuck to do. Imagine me. A very tall, very big dude with long hair and a huge beard, dressed in a black trench coat, sitting on the floor of the PD lobby while frantically trying to call for help. I'm surprised I wasn't arrested.
I finally got confirmation from my insurance that the rental company in Elmhurst had a car for me. I just had to figure out a way to get there. Thankfully I had the Lyft app on my phone, and I'd gotten enough juice to use it to get a ride. They dropped me off, and just as I got my car, my phone died.
I got home, and only then did I realize that I hadn't escaped the car wreck completely unscathed. I had a small cut on my forehead, and I'd been apparently bleeding the whole time. Not much. Just enough to look weird.
The next day I also discovered that my chest ached pretty badly where the seatbelt had restrained me. I wondered for a bit if I'd broken my sternum or a rib or two. I used Icyhot on it, which helped. Which also implied it wasn't a bone deep hurt. Just skin deep.
When I got the news that my car was completely totaled, it was horrible. I loved that fucking car. It was all paid up, and it was a gorgeous ride. It was the only new car I'd ever bought in my life. I'm going to miss it.
I hope someone has a 2012 Honda Civic that's only eight grand. That would be pretty sweet. And an XM radio would help. I guess I'll find out tomorrow.
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