GOODNIGHT, FUCKERS #341: RESTING BITCH FACE

I'm kind of glad that I've lived with resting bitch face for all the years I can remember. There are ups and downs, but the ups are pretty good in my opinion. Don't get me wrong, if we're talking or hanging out, etc., I'm engaged and smiling and having a good time. But when I'm not doing those things I have resting bitch face. It helps.

My favorite advantage is that strangers don't want to talk to me. They keep their distance. They don't say hi. They don't even bother to ask for the time of day. Do people still do that? In this age where we all have clocks in our pockets along with calculators and flashlights? Probably not. But still. People tend to keep their children away from me, which is excellent. If I wanted a filthy booger-eating creature around me, I'd hang out at the zoo.

RBF puts a wonderful shield around me that prevents a lot of bullshit getting too close, and I greatly appreciate that.

Here's a drawback, though. Ever since I was a kid people have thought that I don't like them. Not my friends' parents. Parents always loved me. Sometimes they loved me better than they loved their own kids. But I'll take a friend's brother as an example. He was older than us, so he was tasked with driving me home one night. Along the way he asked why I didn't like him. I liked him just fine. I had no idea why he was asking me this question.

I now have an answer. RBF. That happened when I was in junior high. It still happens sometimes. I can't tell you how many times people have thought that I didn't like them or flat out hated them. Not true. I like just about everyone. On an individual basis, that is. Groups? Eh, no thanks. But I certainly don't hate anyone. Everyone I've ever hated is dead.

(He said ominously.)

I don't even hate Donald Trump. He's a piece of shit who should have had a spike shoved up his ass Vlad-style, but I don't know him personally. You have to know someone personally in order to truly hate them.

But then, if you have resting bitch face, you really don't have to think about it all that much.