Thursday, January 20, 2022

GOODNIGHT, FUCKERS #451: LANDLORDS


 

It's not often that I'm on the same page as my stepfather. Longtime readers and close friends know how that relationship worked out, and it was not good. But here's one that stuck with me over the years. I didn't realize what it meant at the time, but as I grew older, I got it. And now, I get it, like, a lot.


When I was a kid he would grumble all the time about our landlord. He called him all sorts of names when the landlord wasn't around. My stepfather hated that man with every fiber of his being, and I didn't get why because I didn't understand the dynamic of that relationship. I didn't get it until I got older and understood what a landlord was.


And yeah, I hate those sons of bitches. They were a necessary evil, though, until perhaps now.


A friend of mind told me recently that he and his wife have to move from their excellent apartment in Lisle (it's a beautiful place) because their landlord recently jacked up the rent to an insane amount of money. My friend likened it to a mortgage payment instead of monthly rent. And he's not the only one. All over this country everyone is getting fucked over by their landlords. It's out of control. And people wonder why a lot of folks have to move back in with their parents.


I've watched the cost of rent in my corner of the Chicagoland area rise steadily over the years, but for some reason NOW is when they're really going fucking crazy. How do they expect people to be able to live there? In the middle of a plague? When the cost of living keeps rising but wages remain the same? I'm familiar with the concept. Remember, I'm a writer, and our per word payment has not increased for a hundred years. I'm pretty sure back then they didn't even have a minimum wage. Now we do, and it's piddling. It's just enough for people to buy drugs to help them forget how miserable their lives are.


And I get that it's a complicated thing. The landlords have shit to pay for, too, but holy fuck, this is . . . I was about to say highway robbery, but even that's pretty tame compared to the cost of rent these days. And yeah, inflation. I know. And I can even pinpoint why we're suffering from inflation: some genius decided to take us off the gold and silver standard. Because they got greedy. Back then there was a limited supply of money. Now there isn't because monetary value is an imaginary thing. A dollar bill is worth a dollar because the US government says it is. It doesn't even have a gold and silver backing like it used to.


Perhaps the answer is a finite amount of money. Granted, that would cause all sorts of problems on its own, because who do you think would end up with that finite supply? But I do find joy in one thing: all they can do is hoard it until it isn't even worth anything, because who the fuck will be buying shit when ordinary people don't have money? Maybe the super rich can pass it back and forth to each other, but what good is that, in the long run?


Wow. I didn't mean to launch off on that tirade. All I meant to say is landlords can suck my dick.










































I hope no one is wondering why there is a picture of Joe Pesci at the top of this column.

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