Thursday, September 19, 2024

GOODNIGHT, FUCKERS #914: 42 POUNDS A YEAR

 A new study says that the average American consumes 42 pounds of cheese a year. Forty-two! We certainly love our cheese, but I'd like to take the time to remind you that I'm not the average American when it comes to cheese consumption. At any given moment I have at least 10 pounds of cheese in my fridge. Except for now, as I am cheese poor. I get paid tomorrow, so I'll have my cheese in the very near future.


I wonder how much cheese *I* eat a year. I suppose I could find out if I was dedicated enough and kept diligent records from Jan 1 to Dec 31. I'm not sure if I want to spend my time doing that, though. So I'll do what politicians do on a regular basis: make up a number.


I hereby declare that I eat at least 90 pounds of cheese a year. Bare minimum. The max? The sky's the limit!


Also, I'm very high. I tried this cannabis-infused cola tonight, and it worked nicely. It tasted like Dr. Pepper, just as promised.


Anyway, here's the article I read that spurred on this GF, if you wish to read it.

No comments:

Post a Comment