Tuesday, April 8, 2025

GOODNIGHT, FUCKERS #982: MOM'S PIANO


 

Of all the things I left behind at my old house, the one that hurts the most is Mom's piano. I remember her trying to teach me how to play when I was a kid. I just don't have any musical inclination, so I sucked and never got any better at it. Although I can play a really simple stripped down version of the Star Wars theme. It would probably make John Williams guts roil, but I can do that much, at least.

But Mom was a great pianist. My brother, Alex, knows how to play and play well, and I wanted him to have it. However, he is living in his own hotel now, so I can't get it to him. I tried to give it away on Facebook, and I got nothing. I thought one of my friends, who used to work giving musical lessons, would at least know someone who might want it, but nope.

So I had no choice but to leave it in the house now owned by, essentially, the State of Illinois.

But I've been back a few times. It's very weird being inside the house now that it's fairly empty. The toilet tank upstairs is still leaking, so whenever I stop by I empty out the garbage can I put under it. It stinks in there. It's clammy. It no longer feels like home.

But at the same time, as far as I can tell, no one has been in there since the house got sold at the courthouse. No new locks have been added. My neighbor says that no one has been over here, as far as she can tell.

(She also noted that the neighbor on my other side just moved out. Now that we're dropping like flies, I'm pretty sure the government is ready to pull some eminent domain bullshit, so maybe I got out just in time.)

So I might have another chance to save Mom's piano. Do you want a free piano? Or do you know someone who does? Do you live in the Chicagoland area? If so, it's yours. Two conditions: you (or someone) must actually play it on a regular basis to keep my Mom's shade happy, and you must pick it up from my old house. I can't transport it myself.

You'll also get the bench and Mom's collection of sheet music, which is considerable. There's also a painting above the piano that, wherever the piano was in the world, was always on the wall above it. I think I'll throw that in, too. They go well together.

If you want it, speak up fast. I'm not sure how much longer I'm going to have access to that house. When I go in, I'm technically trespassing, so if you're cool with that risk (and it's a low one), then let me know. You can comment here or contact me on social media or however you know me. This is probably my last chance to save it. I can't stand the thought of the state owning Mom's piano.

(Her ashes are in my hotel room, and I imagine the portrait next to the urn is looking sternly at me . . .)

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