Friday, July 18, 2025

GOODNIGHT, FUCKERS #1005: A NEW PLAN (POLITICAL EDITION)

 I didn't really expect GF #1000 to make any big waves. It's good to see a couple other people talking about the need to invoke Article 5, but what are the odds of that happening? And now we have Elon Musk creating the Nationalist-Social--er, I mean, whatever the hell he's calling his third party. Which, by the way, doesn't stand a chance. But it will serve its purpose, which is stealing the midterms from the Democrats. Some asshole said that Musk will hurt the Republicans worse, and I can't believe they had the gall to say that. [I'm still waiting, by the way, for an executive order to come through to put Trump's face on Mt. Rushmore.]

If we can't get enough people together to update the Constitution, then we're going to have to change the way elections are run. Not that I expect anyone to listen to me. I think Gore Vidal's ideas are perfect in a case like this.

First and foremost, elections must be limited to four weeks. It's insane that these motherfuckers can run for office for years. The incumbent usually starts campaigning almost immediately after they're elected. That's insane to me. If you're not familiar with the issues after listening to these jagoffs lie to you for four weeks, then the problem might not be with the system. Listening to them for years, on the other hand, gives them the chance to repeat themselves so often you might think they're telling the truth.

But secondly, and this is key, we need to make it illegal for politicians to buy ad space on TV, in print or anywhere else. In exchange for this, the networks and publications will be required by law to give these politicians equal time on their platforms. This will change EVERYTHING. These pieces of shit will no longer need huge donations because advertising is where nearly all of that money goes to. Now it will be possible for ANYONE to run for office. The unhoused could afford to run. It levels the playing field, as the politicians might say. It will muscle a lot of our corporate overlords out of the business, too. What would the candidates spend that money on? I'm sure they have lots of things they'd buy, but it would be very difficult to do that with transparency. The campaign laws we have now pretend to value transparency, but they don't. I forget the comedian who said this, but these fuckers should be forced to wear their sponsors on their suits, like NASCAR racers. Even then I would doubt their entire veracity.

I'll let Vidal have the final word tonight:

"Since Watergate, no one can say that we don't know where we are or who we are or what sort of people we have chosen to govern us. Now it remains to be seen if we have the power, the will to restore to the people a country which--to tell the truth--has never belonged to the ninety-five point six percent but certainly ought to, as we begin our third--and let us hope not, terminal--century."

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