I remember when I was a child. Maybe six, seven years old. That was back in the day when parents were getting super protective of their kids going out on Halloween. I forgot my costume for that particular year, but it was very dark in color. So dark that a driver might not see me. My mom demanded that I put a reflective strip on my costume.
This, of course, was blasphemy.
"NO!" I shouted.
Why not?
"BECAUSE IT'S NOT SCARY ENOUGH IF I HAVE A REFLECTOR THING ON ME!!!"
She made me put the fucking thing on. I figured that I would go out with my friends and rip the thing off as soon as I was away from home. But oh no. Mom decided to come with us, foiling my plan. The ironic thing is, it never occurred to me that my candy sack, complete with a smiling child-friendly ghost, was not scary.
Fast forward a couple of years. I wanted to go as a murderer, but I needed a giant scary knife. Mom got me this cheap plastic looking thing that was obviously fake.
"NO!" I shouted.
Why not?
"BECAUSE IT'S NOT SCARY ENOUGH IF I HAVE A FAKE LOOKING KNIFE!!!"
Moms never get it, do they? Once again, I was stuck with it.
Fast forward to when I was in high school. My friend, Rob, and I decided to do Halloween as characters from The Dark Half. He was Thad Beaumont, and I was George Stark. Can you guess what I really wanted to have to be realistically scary?
Oh yeah. This time, though, Mom wasn't around to foil my plans. I got an honest-to-God straight razor, and we hit the streets. Thinking back on it now, that was probably a very shitty idea. Could you imagine what would have happened to me if a cop tried to give me trouble? They'd find the straight razor, and there I go to juvie or worse.
But damned if I wasn't scary that Halloween.
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