I feel pretty sure I mentioned here before that I'm a huge fan of Chick tracts. I don't like seeking them out, though. You gotta find them in the wild. The best places to get them are by the pumps at any gas station. I can't tell you how many I've found at the Shell on the corner of 83 and North, but you can pick any gas station, and they're likely to have at least something for you to grab.
But it's been a while since I got one, and I suspect the local religious nuts are getting lazy. Instead of seeding town with Chick tracts they've decided to just put business cards there, except instead of contact info there are Bible verses about how you're an awful sinner, and you're going to Hell . . . unless you accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior.
To quote a great man, "How boring. And unimaginative!" I'll bet I'm the only one who picked these lame things up, and I only did that so I can throw them in the trash. You don't want Jesus as your Lord and Savior. He was so bad at the job that they killed him two thousand-ish years ago, and he hasn't lifted a finger since.
So fuck these assholes. If they're going to get cheap with the Chick tracts, then they don't deserve the gas stations to put them in. That's right, I'M TAKING BACK OUR GAS STATIONS! Every one I stop at is going to get one of the cards I made below:
No longer will you risk going to a gas station to have some annoying bit of cardboard telling you what a shitty human being you are. So yeah. I'm going to do my part to make the world a better place. I encourage you to do the same. And you don't need my cards. Make your own. Remove the dangerous religious shit, and replace it with something that will actually help make someone's day better.
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