Tuesday, October 8, 2024

GOODNIGHT, FUCKERS #922: COOKIES

 The wicked get no rest, and neither do the depraved, so when I had last week off *from* Goodnight, Fuckers, I still did research *for* Goodnight, Fuckers. I shan't tell you the topic yet, as I will be using it possibly this week, but something interesting happened while I was looking something up. I found a link, and it took me to a website where I was confronted with the usual cookies ultimatum.


Except . . . it *wasn't* an ultimatum. It requested that I accept all cookies, and it explained what the cookies were meant to do, and it gave me the option to continue without accepting the cookies. Wait, that can't be right. If I come across a cookies statement, I back out of the website. I do *not* want their surveillance on my computer. Which is funny, because I accept that the NSA is spying on us, but I don't really care about that. If they found something interesting about me, they wouldn't just use it. They'd sock it away in case I someday become a terrorist or some such nonsense. But I very much care about corporations, our country's true owners, spying on us. Corporations . . . wait, I'm going to put this in all caps so there's no misunderstanding. CORPORATIONS HAVE NO RIGHT TO SPY ON US.


But this one website said I could skip the cookies? I could continue anyway?


Then it hit me. I'm not on an American website, am I? Nope! I'm not! Because the EU has much better privacy laws than we, the supposedly greatest country in the universe, do. The last privacy law we got was in 1988 when a pack of Congressassholes passed the law to prevent video store clerks from ratting them out to the press. That was pre-internet, and everything has changed. We don't just need a new privacy law. We're OWED IT.


I chose to skip the cookies, and I enjoyed reading a website that didn't try to fuck me over. I shit you not, it was euphoric.


But we're going to have to scare the shit out of these Congressassholes again. That means we're going to have to find out, say, which porn sites they use and publish them. That is an illegal act because the Congressassholes aren't stupid. But we need to incentivize them.


Which reminds me, since I have you all here, I have a solution to the AI problem. It will be very illegal, but it will also be very effective. If someone were to create a deepfake of Mitch McConnell and Lindsey Graham fucking each others' brains out, I'm pretty sure we'll get those anti-AI laws.


If I may borrow a line from one of my characters, it's "something to consider."

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