GOODNIGHT, FUCKERS #365: THE ECONOMY IS TOO IMPORTANT TO WASTE ON PEOPLE

 

Heh. That's a helluva title. Grabs you by the short and curlies, doesn't it? Obviously I don't believe that, but a shocking number of people do. It's one of the big reasons this fucking plague has lasted as long as it has.

So I recently finished reading The Totem by David Morrell. It's a great book about a Detroit cop who moved out to Wyoming to get away from the horrors of the city and an alcoholic journalist who goes to the same place for a retrospective on a hippie commune that used to be there. Much to this duo's horror, that's when the werewolves show up.

The mayor of that Wyoming town pissed me off a great deal. When he hears about this situation, all he can think about is saving the town's economy. If word got out about the problem, then no one would buy any steers from the local ranchers ever again, and the town would dry up like the mining camp up the mountain decades ago. He does a lot of horrible shit to gloss over the problem in the name of the Holy Economy. This guy makes the mayor in Jaws seem reasonable.

I couldn't help but think of the parallel between this book and current times. Trump denied the plague existed at all, and then, when Americans started getting it, he blamed it all on China instead of his own fucking ineptitude at making sure it couldn't get to us. And then he claimed it wasn't as bad as people said it was. And a shit-ton of people agreed with him because to accept Covid as extraordinarily dangerous would kill the economy. People on the right argued until they were blue in the face that America should open up again to save the beloved economy. (Which is funny, because when Biden decided to grant their wish, the same people called him crazy for putting American lives in danger.)

But it's all crazy bullshit because Covid *is* dangerous. I know a few people who got it, and most seemed to make it out the other side OK after some pretty horrific trauma, but others did not. In the worst case, I know someone who will be breathing oxygen from a tank for the rest of his life because of this fucking plague. I recall all the dipshits who went to hospitals demanding to see Covid patients, which they figured they wouldn't find because the plague was a hoax, right? WRONG. I've been in the hospital a lot since the plague began, and when I had to stay the night (or more than a night), they had to wheel me through the Covid ward. I did not want this, but it was the only way to get through to where they wanted to keep me. That shit was scary. Covid patients kept behind giant plastic sheets like they were burn victims, hacking and wheezing and . . . it fucking sucked, all right? Let's leave it at that.

Is the economy important? Of course it is. But when you put people's lives at risk just for the sake of the economy? Go fuck yourself. You're like the mayor from The Totem. If he'd seen Tiger King, I'm sure he would have had the same thought as portrayed above. Try having an economy when there isn't anyone alive to enjoy it, cocksucker. Safety to humans first. After that, you can have your precious fucking economy.

GOODNIGHT, FUCKERS #346: BE PREPARED

 Whenever life fucks me over, I try my absolute best to make sure that it doesn't get the chance to do the same thing to me again. This is an idea that took about three and a half decades for me to come to. It led me to imagining worst case scenarios and thinking of ways to avoid them.

For example, my previous car had a nasty habit of dying on me at unexpected times. In all cases but one, I have no idea why. That one case was because I'd left the dome light on accidentally overnight. Whoops. But because of this, I now carry a jumper pack in my trunk. I charge it up once a month, per the instruction booklet. Just in case. Also, for some reason my front passenger side tire always lost air. Inexplicably. No matter how new the tire was. It could have just been put on, and a week later it was flat. So I have an air compressor in my trunk, too. And a tent, should I ever be stuck somewhere without shelter. And a compass in case I got lost and didn't have a signal on my phone. And an axe. For . . . reasons. Let's leave it at that.

I also hide money all over the place. Just in case. It's not a lot. Just a $20 bill here and there. One is in my console in the car. One is in my jacket pocket. Etc. This is in case I forget my wallet at home. This has happened a couple of times, and my secret money stashes saved me.

Whenever I travel abroad (by car, that is), I carry two things with me: a Harley-Davidson knife built so it is impossible to leave fingerprints on it and a blackjack. The former is legal as the blade is shorter than the width of my palm. The latter is not. I carry them for protection because when you're on a road trip, you have no idea what might happen. Or WHO might happen. So far I've never used either one, and I hope that continues.

At my previous job I had to ride the train every day. One morning I didn't lift my foot far enough up for the top step into the train. I tripped and fell down the other side, hitting my ankle. I got to a seat, and it hurt, but not too bad. When I got to the office I checked on it, shocked to see how much blood had run down my leg. A friend noticed, and he (being a former Marine) got his first aid kit and got me cleaning and bandaging supplies. So guess who carries a small first aid kit wherever he goes now? *hooks both thumbs back to myself*

I'm trying to ease off of alcohol with cannabis. I've heard a lot of horror stories about seizures or seeing shit that isn't there. Hell, I've gone through the latter rather extensively. Never had a seizure, though, so I'm wary of it. Obviously I keep alcohol at home just in case, but I carry an emergency supply of Wild Turkey 101 airplane bottles whenever I go outside. Just in case I start to feel weird without having alcohol in my system. I haven't needed them yet, but it's good to know I have them.

No, I wasn't a Boy Scout. I was, however, a Cub Scout. Regardless, I took their slogan to heart. BE PREPARED.

So that brings me to my COVID vaccination. I'd heard very few stories about bad side effects from the first dose, so I didn't worry too much about it. My arm hurt a little for the rest of the day, and the day after I was fine. The second dose, on the other hand, I'd heard a lot of horror stories regarding side effects. Horrible sickness a day or two long. I suspected I'd be fine. I usually am. I used to get horribly sick one time a year, always the same time. Now I don't get that kind of sick ever. My body has turned against me in my middle age, and it's been too busy doing this that it didn't bother getting regular sick. Just life-threateningly sick.

This is probably because I've treated my body like garbage. A lot of people are quick to point out my ability to drink shocking amounts of alcohol, but that's fairly new in the grand scheme of my life. From early on I made it clear to those around me that I would not eat fruits or vegetables, that I would go out of my way to eat unhealthy things because those actually tasted good. I still do this today. If salad is so great, why is there salad dressing? One way or the other, no thank you. You can have my salad.

I have had just about 40 years of fast food pass through me. To say nothing of the Coca-Cola and Monster I drink constantly. I'm trying to quit caffeine again, by the way. When I beat it, I intend to also quit sugary drinks (except for my morning Tang). But that doesn't change the fact that my body is more of a dumpster than a temple.

I think it worked out in my favor, though, for the second dose. My body is used to filth, so the virus probably didn't stand a chance of making me really sick. It might have even helped that I had an edible and three glasses of whiskey last night to fend it off. I woke up fine this morning. The worst of it was yesterday when my arm hurt like all hell. Part of being prepared for the second dose was also having a shit-ton of NyQuil and DayQuil on hand. I took the NyQuil before bed, just in case.

My mouth is pretty dry today, but that could just be the abuse I put my body through last night. I got through this one pretty easily, I'm glad to say. If my body was just used to being trash and took care of COVID almost as an after thought, then I could probably say that I've spent my life being prepared for just this occasion.

Yeah, yeah, all right. I'm just bullshitting here. Probably.

Hey, for those who read to the very end, thanks for sticking with me so far. I didn't intend to link to that Tom Lehrer song when I first started writing this. But I also found another video of his that I thought might interest you. While everyone else in the 'Eighties were thinking only of pop music and cocaine, I was overwhelmed by fears of a nuclear cleansing of the human race. Give this song a listen.