Whenever life fucks me over, I try my absolute best to make sure that it doesn't get the chance to do the same thing to me again. This is an idea that took about three and a half decades for me to come to. It led me to imagining worst case scenarios and thinking of ways to avoid them.
For example, my previous car had a nasty habit of dying on me at unexpected times. In all cases but one, I have no idea why. That one case was because I'd left the dome light on accidentally overnight. Whoops. But because of this, I now carry a jumper pack in my trunk. I charge it up once a month, per the instruction booklet. Just in case. Also, for some reason my front passenger side tire always lost air. Inexplicably. No matter how new the tire was. It could have just been put on, and a week later it was flat. So I have an air compressor in my trunk, too. And a tent, should I ever be stuck somewhere without shelter. And a compass in case I got lost and didn't have a signal on my phone. And an axe. For . . . reasons. Let's leave it at that.
I also hide money all over the place. Just in case. It's not a lot. Just a $20 bill here and there. One is in my console in the car. One is in my jacket pocket. Etc. This is in case I forget my wallet at home. This has happened a couple of times, and my secret money stashes saved me.
Whenever I travel abroad (by car, that is), I carry two things with me: a Harley-Davidson knife built so it is impossible to leave fingerprints on it and a blackjack. The former is legal as the blade is shorter than the width of my palm. The latter is not. I carry them for protection because when you're on a road trip, you have no idea what might happen. Or WHO might happen. So far I've never used either one, and I hope that continues.
At my previous job I had to ride the train every day. One morning I didn't lift my foot far enough up for the top step into the train. I tripped and fell down the other side, hitting my ankle. I got to a seat, and it hurt, but not too bad. When I got to the office I checked on it, shocked to see how much blood had run down my leg. A friend noticed, and he (being a former Marine) got his first aid kit and got me cleaning and bandaging supplies. So guess who carries a small first aid kit wherever he goes now? *hooks both thumbs back to myself*
I'm trying to ease off of alcohol with cannabis. I've heard a lot of horror stories about seizures or seeing shit that isn't there. Hell, I've gone through the latter rather extensively. Never had a seizure, though, so I'm wary of it. Obviously I keep alcohol at home just in case, but I carry an emergency supply of Wild Turkey 101 airplane bottles whenever I go outside. Just in case I start to feel weird without having alcohol in my system. I haven't needed them yet, but it's good to know I have them.
No, I wasn't a Boy Scout. I was, however, a Cub Scout. Regardless, I took their slogan to heart. BE PREPARED.
So that brings me to my COVID vaccination. I'd heard very few stories about bad side effects from the first dose, so I didn't worry too much about it. My arm hurt a little for the rest of the day, and the day after I was fine. The second dose, on the other hand, I'd heard a lot of horror stories regarding side effects. Horrible sickness a day or two long. I suspected I'd be fine. I usually am. I used to get horribly sick one time a year, always the same time. Now I don't get that kind of sick ever. My body has turned against me in my middle age, and it's been too busy doing this that it didn't bother getting regular sick. Just life-threateningly sick.
This is probably because I've treated my body like garbage. A lot of people are quick to point out my ability to drink shocking amounts of alcohol, but that's fairly new in the grand scheme of my life. From early on I made it clear to those around me that I would not eat fruits or vegetables, that I would go out of my way to eat unhealthy things because those actually tasted good. I still do this today. If salad is so great, why is there salad dressing? One way or the other, no thank you. You can have my salad.
I have had just about 40 years of fast food pass through me. To say nothing of the Coca-Cola and Monster I drink constantly. I'm trying to quit caffeine again, by the way. When I beat it, I intend to also quit sugary drinks (except for my morning Tang). But that doesn't change the fact that my body is more of a dumpster than a temple.
I think it worked out in my favor, though, for the second dose. My body is used to filth, so the virus probably didn't stand a chance of making me really sick. It might have even helped that I had an edible and three glasses of whiskey last night to fend it off. I woke up fine this morning. The worst of it was yesterday when my arm hurt like all hell. Part of being prepared for the second dose was also having a shit-ton of NyQuil and DayQuil on hand. I took the NyQuil before bed, just in case.
My mouth is pretty dry today, but that could just be the abuse I put my body through last night. I got through this one pretty easily, I'm glad to say. If my body was just used to being trash and took care of COVID almost as an after thought, then I could probably say that I've spent my life being prepared for just this occasion.
Yeah, yeah, all right. I'm just bullshitting here. Probably.
Hey, for those who read to the very end, thanks for sticking with me so far. I didn't intend to link to that Tom Lehrer song when I first started writing this. But I also found another video of his that I thought might interest you. While everyone else in the 'Eighties were thinking only of pop music and cocaine, I was overwhelmed by fears of a nuclear cleansing of the human race. Give this song a listen.
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