RIP: The Napalm Assault

Some of you may have noticed the sudden absence of www.thenapalmassault.com. I’m sorry to say that I have to announce the passing of this lovely website. It was fun while it lasted, and I hope it brought entertainment to at least one person. If it was just one person, the whole thing would have been worthwhile.

It was always Leo Perez’s brainchild. He came up with the idea, but more to the point, he paid for it. Lately, he’s been making great steps forward in his comics career, and he just can’t afford to keep up the Napalm Assault while making a name for himself as an artist. He gave me fair warning, and I prepared for the end.

It’s a shame. I look back at what the website was supposed to be, and it never lived up to our expectations. Originally, it was Leo, Cliff Breaux and me. There were a few other interested parties, and the main cast was joined by the Righteous Sandwich for a while. But I have my scribbled notes from when a bunch of us got together to brainstorm what the website should be, and I’ve got to say, we were ambitious motherfuckers. Here’s a look at some of the ideas:

--We were going to have a great cheeseburger competition between Jim Sauve and me. I’ve always contended that the Country House makes the best burger in the area. He was going to challenge me on that.

--We thought about having a rotating political humor column.

--We came up with strange ideas for reviews. We wanted to review things people ordinarily didn’t review, like graveyards and websites.

--The Horrors of Channel Surfing.

--We thought getting me liquored up and unleashing me on some kind of local event would be a good idea.

--The Napalm Podcast. Believe it or not, there are actually episodes of these, starring Leo and Cliff, but none of them have been posted for the public.

--Investigative reporting of funny shit, not important shit.

--Cliff had a tongue-in-cheek opinions column in mind called something along the lines of “If You Don’t Agree With Me, You’re Racist.”

--Animal Shelter of the Week.

--We were going to have a monthly contest in which readers could win a chance to date one of us. That’s not as egotistical as you might think. We figured no one would actually enter, that it would be a bit.

--Not Just Wrigleyville—meaning, fun things to do in Chicago that, well, you get it.

--Vegan food reviews.

--And then there were reviews in general.

--I also wanted to invite a few friends to write for us. Fitz would do Nintendo retrospectives, and Jason (now known as the Drudgeon at Forced Viewing) would do horror movie reviews.

--And then there was the list of things I wound up doing for my own blog and posting links on The Napalm Assault: The DUI Diary, bar reviews, whiskey reviews, Meeting Authors, etc.

That’s quite a menu. If only we could have gotten this thing off the ground. That’s one of my big regrets. At first, there were posts from all of us, but over time, I wound up being the only one posting anything. It got to the point where Leo just handed the reins over to me, but by that point, I knew it was done. The site continued slogging along for a while, but it was a lingering death. It’s probably for the best that it’s gone.

I remember when I first started working on the site. The thing I offered first and foremost were comic book reviews. I think originally, Leo was going to cover DC, Cliff would do Marvel and I would cover all of the others, including and especially the indies. But I’d reviewed comic books for the college paper, and I was kind of eager to get back to it. That led me to wanting to do Cool Shit, and other comics-related coverage.

It was fun. It really was.

What does the passing of The Napalm Assault mean, going forward? I’ll be retiring a lot of my regular posts. Comic book reviews, which were posted, for the most part, at the Napalm Reviews Tumblr, will cease. Cool Shit will end, and that’s probably for the best. I only ever talk about the same books, anyway, and it is probably my least popular column. Only about 20 of you read it on a regular basis. It’s fun to do, but it’s time has passed. (Can you believe I’ve been doing Cool Shit for almost four years?! Here’s alink to the first one, just so you can see what it was like.)

The same with other reviews. Writing them takes up waaaaaaay too much of my regular fiction writing time, and let’s face it, I’m never going to get money for my reviews. The time has come to cut the weight holding me down. Don’t worry, I’ll still be reviewing horror movies for Forced Viewing.

I’m sorry to say that I’ll be ending One Question Interviews, as well. There is a lot of positive response to this column, but it’s not turning into what I want it to be. I was hoping to use the first five posts as a springboard to get a wide variety of writers, artists, musicians, filmmakers, stand-up comedians and more to participate. I have not gotten a favorable response in that area. John Everson is the only person I don’t know personally who was interested in taking part with this column, for which I am very grateful.

I will also retire any convention coverage. It will be weird to go to C2E2 and not write anything up, but so be it.

It's weird. I started writing about comic books in college, back in the late 'Nineties. Back then, no one gave a shit about comics. The fact that there was a regular comics column in the college newspaper was absolutely mindblowing. I even won a state award for it. Now? You can't escape from comics. Somehow, I think the world will survive without my coverage.

What will continue? You’ll still get the occasional Everyone’s Got One. Whenever I have the material, I’ll post more Meeting Authors. If it strikes my fancy, I might do another Forgotten Comic Books. And as always, if something fucked up in my life happens, I’ll blog about it.

Well, that’s it, then. A door closes on a chapter of my life, and maybe another one opens. I hope you’ll join me. Whoops, there was one more regret I wanted to mention.

I really, really, really wish Leo had let me call the site The Third Testicle.

DANCON: THE UNEXPECTED CONVENTION

Every time I cover a convention like Wizard World Chicago or C2E2, I almost always say that my favorite part is Artists Alley. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy meeting celebrities and has-beens and big name comics creators just as much as the next guy, but the true magic of the con experience is finding an amazing new book from an up and coming writer or artist (or in many cases, both in one person).

I discovered that a few of my friends were going to be at DanCon this year, and truth be told, since it didn’t get much attention, I didn’t really think about covering it. And then I found out that it’s in Orland Park, which is not far from my native Elmhurst, and that the price of entry is only three bucks. To top it all off, it’s one big Artists Alley. That’s it. No celebrities, very few vendors. Indie creators are the main draw of the place.

That doesn’t stop cosplayers. The very first thing I saw as I parked was some kid dressed up as Captain America, shield and all. I walked in the doors and saw the shortest con line I have ever seen, which warmed my heart, considering the garbage one has to go through to get into WWC. They also give you a bunch of free stuff, including a Hellboy mask.

Inside, it’s a very intimate setting. There are no lines to meet anyone. Maybe that’s a bad thing, since it usually indicates that someone isn’t worth the attention. However, if you see a book that really turns you on, you don’t have to wait to meet the creators. They’re just there. It’s very easy to meet new people. No one is on guard. It’s a very slow, laid-back environment.

There aren’t any creeps, either. The only problem I noticed was a guy who walked around playing really atrocious music loudly. The wife of the showrunner came by, asking if the guy was being obnoxious with his tunes. They’d already told the dude to turn down his music, and according to all reports, he was a dick about it. With reinforcement from the creators, she had security throw the guy out.

That’s it. Aside from that, there were no big problems.

Granted, it’s a small environment, and it’s only on a Sunday, from ten in the morning to four in the afternoon, so there isn’t a lot of room for problems, but still, that’s an amazing feat.

I got to catch up with friends there, as with every con. I saw Jon Lennon and Leo Perez, as always. Mat Festa was also there, as was Kurt Dinse. It was altogether an excellent experience with no tension or pressure at all.

Unfortunately, some of the strengths of the show also feed its main weakness: it’s a small show. There isn’t a lot to see. I still managed to come home with a good bundle of books, and I only spent about $100, but it wasn’t even a fraction of what an Artists Alley at, say, C2E2 would be. I would like to see more variety in their future, but I can promise one thing: if they’re back next year, I will be there. It’s a great time, and I recommend you all join me in its glories.

I just hope they move on from the stamp system. I’m a big fan of lanyards to get into a show. Hell, I’d even take a stupid wristband. That wouldn’t be so bad, since DanCon is only a day long. But a stamp? Fuck. First of all, I’m a sweaty motherfucker. By the end of the day, the mark was almost gone. I also had to avoid washing my right hand after going to the bathroom, lest I wash the mark away. That’s fine for number one (I hold my dick with my left hand), but for number two, I wipe with my right hand. Thank Christ I didn’t have to take a shit that day.

One more thing: while I was there, I commissioned a great work of art. I promised the artist I wouldn’t reveal his or her identity, but I would be remiss if I didn’t share the piece here. You may recognize these two parties as Jon Lennon and Josh Filer. Or you may be too lost in the nutsack and the grotesque double cumshot. But here is one of my favorite pieces ever. I’m sure you’ll enjoy it as much as I do. It’s worth the $20 I spent on it and so much more.

ONE QUESTION INTERVIEWS: LEO PEREZ

Poorly photoshopped artwork by Jon Lennon

I’ve known Leo Perez for quite a few years now. In fact, we worked on the Napalm Assault together for a while. When I first met him, he was an artist, but he wasn’t doing a whole lot with his talent. He wanted to do comics, but he never really found direction as far as that went. Then came the day I introduced him to Jon Lennon, and Leo turned into an absolute beast of a comics illustrator. He is now an integral part of CheeseLord Comics. Here is my question for him:

ME: Imagine a world without CheeseLord Comics, and you never met Jon Lennon. Where would you be as an artist now?

LEO PEREZ: Fuck. I’m going to have to go deep here, aren’t I? I’ve always considered myself an artist, but obviously Jon Lennon was the guy that woke the beast up, roped the beast and then helped me to tame it. I learned a lot from Jon, but most importantly Jon helped me financially as well. Jon fronted most of our cons and trips while I found my legs and became this somewhat self-reliant artist I am today. It’s even to the point where Jon and I have begun to explore different art styles together and have become more involved in our art than our comic creating. I owe a lot to Jon and CheeseLord because of the work and focus that he’s helped me put into my work, and in doing so we’ve become full partners in this comics business. This year alone we were able to win a bid in a huge project where we got paid extremely well and I could not have confidently done my part without the guidance and teachings of Lennon. That is 100% real and true. So going forward as we continue to grow artistically and as a company, I can always look back and say yeah, I did it, but not without my friends, family, my wife and notably Jon Lennon. Oh God . . . he’s going to read this and have the biggest dick in the room!

Keep up on all Leo Perez (and CheeseLord) news here. Follow him on Twitter here.

WIZARD WORLD CHICAGO 2013 ARTISTS ALLEY: CHEESELORD COMICS

CheeseLord Comics have a few nifty little chapbooks available for this convention season.  Jon Michael Lennon has two, and Leo Perez has one.  They’re all only a dollar, so why not get them all?  Check these out:

KID TOUCHERS AND MORE . . .:  Yes, Lennon has taken mug shots from the sex crimes registry and he has illustrated them for your reading pleasure.  Keep an eye out for the guy charged with sodomy and aggravated urination on a minor . . . .

SUICIDE TASTES LIKE ASS!:  Lennon has been having some problems with the ladies lately, and it’s rapidly driving him crazy.  This is a sketchbook of crazy shit he did just to exorcise these women from his heart.  He goes to a lot of dark places with this one.  It contains his most vile work.  It will change your life.  Just check out the btw #YOLO one, and you’ll never be the same.  (On a side note, Lennon made up shirts for this convention.  One of them is the btw #YOLO one.  As soon as I saw it, I knew I had to have it immediately.  Apparently, he didn’t have high hopes for selling this one, so he only made up three of them.  One for him.  I bought the second.  There’s still one left.  He thinks he’s never going to sell it.  I hope one of you proves him wrong.  It is easily the most offensive shirt I have, and I have a shirt that says, THOUSANDS OF MY POTENTIAL CHILDREN DIED ON YOUR DAUGHTERS FACE LAST NIGHT.)

EL TORO DORADO #0:  Perez has a new superhero for us, and his name is El Toro Dorado.  A throwback to El Santo, the Golden Bull’s legend starts here.  Not only does he kick Hitler’s ass, he takes down Anne Frank, too!  Take a look at some of the sketches in the back.  If they’re any indication of what’s to come, shit is about to get fucking crazy very soon.  Look at Abraham Lincoln, for Christ’s sake!  And what about Hammer and Sickle?  Good times are coming at CheeseLord Comics.

C2E2 2013 WRAP-UP

It’s no secret that over the years, I’ve come to favor C2E2 over Wizard World Chicago each and every time.  As a result, I felt betrayed when I was notified that C2E2 would not be granting me a press pass for 2013.  It hurt pretty badly, especially considering how fucking expensive it is to get into this thing for the whole weekend.  But when I thought more about it, I wasn’t quite so pissed.  Last year, I got sick on the first day, so I was only able to use what precious little material I was able to gather on Friday of the 2012 show.  While I think it’s unfair (because I spent the weekend in the ER being pumped full of fluids, anti-nausea medicine, and Dilaudid, which was not fun, rather than hanging out at C2E2 with my friends, meeting people, and going to panels, which is fun), I can see why they turned me down.

So I made it my personal mission this year to gather as much info as I could and write as many articles as I could muster.  Hence the incredibly long list of C2E2 coverage this year.  Seriously.  You just read seven weeks of C2E2 coverage.  If this doesn’t earn me a press pass for 2014, fucking nothing will.

I’m sorry to say that Friday seemed kind of lackluster.  I’d brought my friend, Fitz, along for the ride this year, and it was his first convention ever.  It was cool to watch his reaction to the whole thing, but I could tell even he was a bit disappointed.  He got to meet Laurie Holden, who plays Andrea on THE WALKING DEAD.  He actually brought a photo of her on the set of the MAGNIFICENT SEVEN TV show, which she probably found absolutely ludicrous.  As we walked away, he told me she was the first celebrity he’d ever actually talked to.  He was with me when I met James Cosmo and Natalie Dormer, but Holden was his First.

He handled it pretty well.  I remember when I met my first celebrity, which left me a bit starstruck, but after all of these years, it never strikes me anymore.

Anyway, Fitz was really hoping to meet Ron Perlman (and so was I, a bit), but the line was always too long, or he just wasn’t there.  Fitz felt the same way about the guy who played the Green Power Ranger, but the line was way longer than anyone expected.

Fitz had hung his hopes on meeting a lot of people, but as it turns out, most of them decided to only show up on Saturday.  He even wanted to meet J. Michael Straczynski because of the writer’s involvement with THE REAL GHOSTBUSTERS cartoon, but that turned out to be a no-go.  I think Fitz had a good time taking in the experience, but when it came to meeting celebrities, he was let down.  I was, too.  Friday was kind of a bust.

The highlight was introducing Fitz to Jon Lennon.  Here’s the thing:  Jon tried to get a table in Artists Alley, and they turned him down.  Sure, all of the tables were taken, but there was a ton of room for more tables.  They could have fit him and Mat Festa and anyone else who had requested to PAY for a table.  I could see them turning down a press pass for me, but to turn away PAYING ARTISTS?  That was lame.

It was also great to see Leo Perez, Kevin Bandt, Z.M. Thomas, and a few other Artists Alley friends (although surprisingly enough, I didn’t get to see Kurt Dinse until Sunday).  Josh Filer showed up the next day, so it was fun shooting the shit with him.  It was great to find out that he’s been telling people about all the horrendous stories I’ve told him in regards to my life.  The burn victim story, as portrayed in an issue of PRODUCT OF SOCIETY, seems to be a favorite.  I wished I could have gotten drunk with them on Saturday night, but by that point, I’d been fucked up beyond all belief.  I was ready to collapse.  I was still fucked up on Sunday.  Guys:  when Wizard World Chicago comes around, I promise to get drunk with you.  I have more fucked up stories about my life to tell.  Since the StrangeHouse guys will be there, maybe I can get all of you together for an evening of absolute lunacy.

My favorite part of any convention is hanging out with my Artists Alley friends, but this year I only got to stop by a couple of times.  I was too busy getting material for my C2E2 coverage, meeting celebrities, getting interviews, going to panels, etc.  I also had to dedicate some time to picking up a few books for my collection, like the most recent volume of THE GOON.  I was missing a few issues of SAGA, which I promptly bought.  Much to my surprise, Avatar’s new CALIGULA series had begun.  I guess my comic book shop must have missed it, so I got the four issues they’ve released so far (and yes, it’s fucking intense and crazy).

One of my big regrets is not getting a pulp magazine this year.  Every convention, I at least buy one, but not this year.  I couldn’t find a place selling them.  I’m sure there was one somewhere, but I don’t think I would have been able to afford it, anyway.  I spent the last of my money on something far more cooler than a pulp magazine:  a sketch from John McCrea.

Oh, you want to see it?  We’re almost there.  Hang on just a while longer.

I don’t regret the pulp thing too much, though.  My comic book shop now has a section for pulp magazines, and I’ve got a bunch on my pile, so that satisfies at least a part of my collecting OCD.

What surprised me the most was how busy it was on Sunday.  I expected it to be packed on Saturday, so I got there as early as my hangover would allow.  I still wound up parking on the roof, and it was in a handicapped space.  (What?  Don’t look at me like that.  The parking attendant TOLD ME to park there.)  On Sunday, I wound up on the roof again, but all the handicapped spots were taken.  The attendants were making up parking spots, and one of them directed me to such a non-existent space.

But even after a good night’s rest (and no hangover), on Sunday I still felt like collapsing.  I left a bit early, two hours from closing time.  I think I might be getting too old for this shit.

Either that, or I’ve finally gotten too fat for conventions.  Anyone who has seen me at one of these things can attest to how out of breath and sweaty I get, and that’s when I’m in fairly good shape.  This leads me to my next problem.

Will I get my press pass back for C2E2 2014?  I hope so . . . but I’ve decided that if I don’t get it, I’m going to give up.  These things are taking too much of a toll on me.  Besides, I’ve pretty much interviewed everyone I want to interview by this point.  There are two on my list that I want, and I know I’ll never get them:  Garth Ennis and William Christensen.  I’ve tried for the former the few times I’ve seen him, and the latter has apologetically turned me down ever since I first saw him at a con several years ago (being editor-in-chief of Avatar during a con is a pretty busy job, so I understand).

I’ve also had to face facts:  I’m not that great of an interviewer.  I’ve found that I can handle myself pretty well as an interviewee, but when I’m asking questions, I think I’m just mediocre.  I’ve only ever done a handful of great interviews, and they are as follows:  Jon Lennon and Leo Perez at the same time, Josh Filer, Jason Yungbluth, and this year’s John McCrea.  (There was also the interview Leo Perez and I did with Brian Azzarello, which was really good, but it was more Leo than me on that one.)  Those felt more like conversations rather than interviews, and that’s the way it should be.

If C2E2 gives me back my press pass, I will definitely do all the things that would require of me, but if they don’t . . . I guess I’ll just go for one day.  Whichever day has the most panels I want to sit in on will be the winner.  I’ll cover them, of course, because that’s fun, and I’ll review whatever I pick up in Artists Alley . . . although I’m starting to think some of you don’t believe the disclaimers I post for all the books I review that are written and/or illustrated by my Artists Alley friends.  Even they probably don’t believe me on some level, and saying otherwise will convince no one.

I’m pretty sure that Wizard World Chicago will grant me a press pass, and I’ll cover the shit out of it.  It’s just not as exhausting as C2E2 is, which may be what is killing it for me.

Even though Friday was disappointing, the other two days completely made it up for me.  The whole excursion was worth it.  It was great meeting so many new people, so many new creators, and hanging out with old friends that I know I couldn’t pass up another such opportunity.  C2E2 is still as fun as it was the first year, and it shows no signs of diminishing.  If you have the chance to go for 2014, I say do it.  I’ll be there.

I might be, as Robert Browning said near the end of “Childe Roland to the Dark Tower Came,” “the last of me, a living frame/for one more picture” by the time you see me, but I will still be there.

And now the moment you’ve all been waiting for.  I can’t tell you how much this sketch of Tommy and Natt from HITMAN means to me.  It is now one of my most prized possessions.  These characters have long been gone from the DCU, but for just a brief second, whenever I hold this sketch, they’re alive again.  I now present it to you as my final word on C2E2 2013:

C2E2 2013 REVIEW: PRODUCT OF SOCIETY #6

[DEPT. OF FULL DISCLOSURE:  I know Jon Lennon, Leo Perez, and Josh Filer, and I consider them friends.  That said, I do not give out favorable reviews due to bias.  Luckily, I’ve never had to trash a friend yet.  I think that’s because I’m really good at meeting and befriending talented people.]

This is it.  After years of tormenting Chicago conventions, PRODUCT OF SOCIETY has reached the end.  This is the last issue.  Creator Jon Lennon has been at this since 2007, and now he’s ready to move on to new projects.  Does he go out on a high note?

As with the last few issues, this one is an anthology, a primer for anyone who wants to peruse Artists Alley.  He starts this one out with a story written and illustrated by him called “At a Trailer Park.”  A bunch of rednecks hang out in a trailer park as one of them boasts that he finally got his chick pregnant.  The baby, sadly, looks like a flipper-handed alien.  Oh yeah, and Jesus is hovering around over this guy’s trailer, and He is pissed.  As usual, Lennon is grotesque and offensive as all hell, and he comes armed with awesome lines like, “My grandma taught me to fuck like a stoned giraffe,” and “He shit out a black hole!”  Where can you go wrong?

Next up is Josh Filer’s “Boar Semen Extender,” which was reviewed here.

The third story is Leo Perez’s “The Hidden Truth,” about a spaceman in the future who discovers that L. Ron Hubbard—sorry, El-Ron—is still alive.  He’s been feeding off Thetans and living on the outskirts of Venus, where his head as gotten really fucking large.  Of course, the spaceman has a plan . . . .  Seriously, you can’t go wrong with a story that not just makes fun of Scientology, but also tears it to pieces.

The fourth story is “Consume,” written and illustrated by Thor Fjalarsson.  It’s a rather unsettling story about how corporations ruthlessly use their employees.  A boss calls one of his employees into his office not to fire him, but, well, read the story and see for yourself.  That last page is fucking intense.

“Alien-Zombie-Vampires . . . from CANADA!!!” is probably the weakest story in the book.  Written and illustrated by Ray Wegner, it tells of the Canadian invasion of America, in particular Chicago.  It would seem that Canadian scientists managed to put together a hybrid of the three titular monsters, which they used to take down Chicago.  The problem is, this isn’t much of a story.  It seems like a prologue to something bigger.  The art’s pretty cool, though.

The last story, “Ailment,” is written by Lennon and illustrated by Alexis Moulds.  It seems to be about the deconstruction of beauty.  Surely, those who read Lennon’s work aren’t used to cute deer, birds, and squirrels in his work, but never fear.  It doesn’t last long.  A young girl frolics in the forest with her woodland creatures, but something is amiss.  What happens is brutal and gorgeous.  Check out that last panel.  It’s the perfect way to end the final book in the series.

Be sure to check out PRODUCT OF SOCIETY #6.  Lennon says maybe someday the title will come back in a much different form, but for now, this is the end of one of the finest series Artists Alley has produced.  Buy it before it goes out of print.

PRODUCT OF SOCIETY #6

Written and illustrated by various artists

Published by CheeseLord Comics

24 pages

$3.99

C2E2 2013 REVIEW: MOONLIGHT MACABRE

[DEPT. OF FULL DISCLOSURE:  I know several people whose work is in this book, and I consider them friends.  That said, I do not give out favorable reviews due to bias.  Luckily, I’ve never had to trash a friend yet.  I think that’s because I’m really good at meeting and befriending talented people.]

There has been a surprising lack of anthology books in Artists Alley this year.  They’re usually plentiful, but this time around, there were only two.  MOONLIGHT MACABRE, as you can probably tell, is a horror anthology put out by CME.  The trouble with anthologies is that they’re a mixed bag.  The blessing with anthologies is that they’re a mixed bag.  Very few kick ass the entire way through.  How does this one fare?

It starts with “Bad Habit,” written by Donovan K. and illustrated by K. Anthony.  It is the story of a guy who loves oranges a bit too much, yet is very uncomfortable with others judging his unnatural love.  There isn’t much that can be said about this one.  There isn’t a lot of story here, just a vignette of a guy masturbating with an orange in the produce aisle before attacking someone for implying that this is a no smoking grocery.  Is it offensive?  Yes, wonderfully so.  It’s fun, but it exists simply to exist.  The artwork is on one hand kind of childish, yet on the other hand incredibly grotesque, especially when the protagonist eats some of the orange before rubbing it all over his body.  Not a bad start to the book.

Next up is “1849,” written and illustrated by Lee Eberhart.  A meteor crashes down in the Old West near a mining camp.  One of the workers then comes face to face with the monster who lived in the meteor, and they must do battle with each other in order to survive.  And that’s about it.  It has a bit more story than the first one, but it’s kind of lackluster.  The artwork is pretty good, if a bit goofy at times.

“The Last Laugh,” written and illustrated by Michael McGourty, is probably the best of the bunch.  Humanity is wiped out, and the survivors die slowly while trying to live by breathing through gas masks.  The last guy on earth is a clown, searching for anyone with whom he can share the end . . . or is that the reason?  It’s really beautifully done with an absolute minimum of words.  The artwork is phantasmagoric, and the final panel is both sad and funny at the same time.  Great stuff.

Then we have “Gomez Santana, P.I.”  Santana is an unusual kind of detective.  When he was younger, he was possessed by a demon.  After it was exorcised, Santana was left with the ability to “[see] beings for what they really are.”  This has driven him to hard drink and even harder narcotics to numb himself.  Whenever the cops have a weird case, they call him in.  Now, he finds himself going up against a mad scientist (Dr. Francis—er, Frank—Victor) and a monster.  Writer Audel Oceguera, Jr., has come up with an awesome character (fuck psychic detectives; this is a much cooler idea), but where he falls short is with the story.  How many times has the Frankenstein monster been used in such a fashion?  The police work is also a bit too convenient.  As soon as Detective Jones mentions the hospital, magically Santana knows who the culprit is.  It’s an all right explanation, but in the flow of a story, it doesn’t work.  There needs to be foreshadowing for something like that.  However, artist Leo Perez certainly makes the tale look awesome.  His depiction of the grimy alcoholic Santana is spot-on, shadows and all.  Also, the scene where Santana is being exorcized is amazing.  Oh yeah, and that priest looks like a badass!

The next story is “Happenstance,” written and illustrated by Rik DesChain.  It’s pretty much a group of soldiers facing off against a sniper.  The most interesting part of this tale is the philosophy of thoughts being able to influence the future.  As a result, the protagonist tries to always think happy thoughts.  It doesn’t always work out, though, as this story proves.  The artwork is very well done, especially that final panel.  The only annoying thing about this one is DesChain’s habit of using quotation marks in speech bubbles.

The last story is untitled and uncredited.  It’s the story of one guy versus three zombies when he originally thought there was only one.  This is probably the weakest of the stories as it’s been done about a thousand times, and it brings nothing new to the table.

Wedged between the stories are pinups that range from incredibly, offensively funny (Jon Lennon’s about the demon who discovers that “JESUS STO’ MY HO!!!”) to the super creepy vampire from K. Anthony.

All in all, this is a good collection.  It has its weaknesses, but overall, it’s worth picking up.

MOONLIGHT MACABRE #1

Written and illustrated by various artists

Published by CME

34 pages

$4.99