You’ve heard of Old Fitzgerald, Old Overholt, Old Grand-Dad, Old Forrester, and even Old Crow. Prepare yourself for a real gentleman: Old Thompson. It’s the customary 80-proof for whiskey, but you’d hardly know it has any alcohol content, it is that smooth. Don’t worry, it doesn’t taste fruity or anything. It is definitely booze, but it practically has no bite to it.
The label has this to say about its quality: “The whiskeys in this finer tasting American blend were produced with extreme care by expertly skilled craftsmen before blending with finest quality natural spirits.” That’s a lot of words to say absolutely nothing, by the way. In case you didn’t know this was blended whiskey, they say it three times on the bottle. However, this seems to be saying that they mixed whiskey with spirits . . . which are the same thing. To top it all off, it says in big bold letters at the bottom of the label: PREMIUM.
So like all real gentlemen, it’s pretentious as all fuck. The label betrays no real age, although it does have kind of an old fashioned style to it. Perhaps it’s been kicking around since the ‘Fifties, when men were men and booze was booze.
Despite the posturing, though, it’s cheap. Real cheap, as far as bourbon goes. When you get down to it, it’s whiskey for people who might not like the taste of whiskey. It’s not candy, but it’ll fuck you up if you let it. Why not give it a whirl?
It tastes so horrible I would rather drink my pee.
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