There is no cover to this book. There is no title. All it bears on the first page as means of identifying it is “A 24 Hour Comic by Ryan Browne,” but that’s what all of his miniature comic books say. And as cosmetic as that might seem, it’s not the craziest thing about this tale. Then again, since Browne’s name is on it, that shouldn’t be surprising. He did, after all, give us GOD HATES ASTRONAUTS and BLAST FURNACE.
We start out in the desert, where a sweaty, frantic man is carrying, on his back, a throne. Seated in said throne is a monocled, mustached bear, sipping on lemonade. The unnamed man is on the verge of collapsing, and he begs his master for a drink. The bear responds by breaking the glass over the poor bastard’s head. Since the guy no longer has control over his balance, he topples over, impaling the inconsiderate bear on a cactus. (Best of all, when this happens, instead of seeing a SPLAT! or a POW! or any of the usual Batman-type noises, we see KARMA!)
Well, it turns out that this bear is an important world figure. He was a diplomat, and he was on his way to sign a treaty. If he doesn’t succeed, the world will spiral into chaos. It falls to a group of unnamed superheroes (well, one of them is named Larry) to find Lord Bearington (yeah, no shit). The problem is, two of the three superheroes are useless slackers. Their leader has to whip them into shape, but first, one of them accidentally invites a group of Draculas into their headquarters. (Yeah. DRACULAS.)
In the meantime, the heat has gotten to the poor guy from the beginning, and he’s hallucinating about Magictown, “where everything is possible.” Can the superheroes get to him in time to save his mind?
Who gives a shit? For those who don’t know, the idea of the 24-hour comics is that Browne does a page in an hour a day with no planning or script whatsoever. This leads to stories built out of sheer nonsense. Take a look at that picture above. Would that come from a sane mind?
Not to ruin anything for you, but the superheroes do find Lord Bearington. Faced with letting the world go to Hell, they come up with the most ridiculous solution to their problem that anyone, inside an asylum or out, could think of.
Don’t look for grand art from this book. Sit back, relax, and let Browne’s fucked up imagination take you for a ride you’ll never forget.
UNNAMED RYAN BROWNE COMIC BOOKWritten and illustrated by Ryan Browne
Published by . . . good question