Sunday, December 11, 2016


Recently I've been thinking a lot about my own mortality. I'm only 38, and those of us who are not yet 40 think we're invincible. We're not. I decided to finally make up my literary estate, and I wrote down all of my passwords and PIN codes, etc. for whoever has to tie my life together after my death. I needed witnesses I trusted, so I went down to Romeoville today to get those signatures.

On my way down I heard, on my XM radio, Tool's "Aenema," which I have not heard for a long time. It's primarily aimed at LA dipshits, dependent on Bill Hicks's idea of Arizona Bay. I think it can be applied to all of America, though. Hear me out.

When I first heard Trump won the presidential election this year, the only thing I could think of was this: HOLY SHIT, I WAS WRONG. THIS IS THE FIRST TIME SINCE '88 THAT THIS HAS HAPPENED. In other words, I was not concerned with the consequences. I was just angry that I was wrong. And then I saw more election results, and that was pretty fucking scary. Trump got the executive branch. And the motherfucker also got the legislative branch. He's a pussy hair away from getting the judicial branch. I wasn't concerned with him being president because of the system of checks and balances. Now that he's almost got all branches, THERE IS NO SYSTEM OF CHECKS AND BALANCES. That is UNAMERICAN. If this is what Trump is happy with, then he wants to DESTROY AMERICA. I hate the Electoral College, but the only reason it exists is to prevent a charismatic psychopath from winning the presidency.

Whoops! It sure fucked up this time. Trump is the EXACT person the Electoral College exists to prevent from ruling this country.

I'm reading a book by Upton Sinclair called A WORLD TO WIN. You might know him better for THE JUNGLE. This one, though, is about an American spy in WWII before Pearl Harbor who travels the world and collects intel on people like Hess and Hitler for FDR. While reading the book--which was written by a socialist American who witnessed the war--I was surprised by how many Nazis there were in America who supported Hitler.

Fast forward to now. These Nazis are all too real. They're not afraid to conceal themselves. I guess that's good, so we know who they are, but at the same time I see human garbage attacking people who aren't white. People who are in the LGBT community. People who believe in a god who isn't Christian, or, like me, no god at all. And Trump isn't telling these people to stop. If he had ANY interest in freedom, he would have dressed these cocksuckers down publicly. He hasn't, though. He's basking in the glory of people doing shit in his name. He's jerking off into his own mouth because there isn't a single person who can stop him. He loves the taste of his own cum. He can't get enough of it. Because of that, the rest of us must kneel before Zod, er, Trump.

That was when I knew that there was no hope with this new presidency. Hearing these stories turned up my rage level to an intensity I have not felt since I was a child being abused by my stepfather. I'm more or less a pacifist, but I have a white hot rage against those who would threaten the lives of people who are not white, not male and are not Christians. I hate it when people are denied their rights. Prepare yourselves, my fellow Americans. We're headed for a fascist regime. Fifty years from now everyone else will be talking about how scary 2017 America was for people who weren't white, male and rich.

But listening to "Aenema" made me think a little. Maybe we had this coming. Maybe we need this. As Americans, we've all been walking, talking pieces of human shit for a long time. This is a wake up call. We wrought this among ourselves. Maybe, just maybe, this will help us think about the world a lot more.

I am almost a nihilist. Nothing we do matters because in the future our sun will eat up our orbit and destroy our planet. If we haven't found a way off Earth by then, we will be nothing. The only thing that holds me back is that we have each other. We have the present. We should treat each other with respect because this is all we have. Why create problems? Let's just make this a great place to survive until the inevitable specter of death takes us all? Be kind to each other. Why shit in someone else's cereal bowl? This is a shitty life. Let's try to make it as pleasant as possible.

But we're all shit. Humanity is a cesspool, and Trump's election has proven it to a T.

Maynard James Keenan was talking about LA culture. The specifics of that song don't apply here, though. The general feeling, however, does.

Fuck. This sucks. But . . . well . . . this election proves one thing to me. It sucks, but, well.

Maybe Tool is right. "The only way to fix it is to flush it all away." Burn this society to the ground and start with something new. Fuck the right wing fuckheads. Fuck the left wing fuckfaces. Fuck everyone. Let's do something new. Something different. Something based on love instead of hate or fear. LET'S DESTROY AMERICA AND BUILD SOMETHING NEW.

I wish that wasn't true. I'm feeling pretty down about it. I would love to hear other--REASONABLE--solutions, but I think that total destruction is the only thing that will work. Let me know what you think."

[PS: I think you all secretly agree with this opinion; otherwise, there would be no interest in THE WALKING DEAD. Please: prove me wrong. That's all I want. Hope is much better than destruction.]


  1. I wish I could disagree with this and fill you full of hope. Alas, I have a conscience and can't give false hope. One of my close friend's and I have made a pact. When that nuclear warning comes we will put on our bathing suits, set out our lawn chairs, make a cold drink, put on our sunglasses and watch it burn until we ourselves burn too. Then we will be relegated to a VIP Purgatory, of our own making, where we will have a pool, all the cold alcoholic drinks one could ever desire but it will always be 120 degrees. Only the "cool kids" get to come, of which you would be considered one. The one stipulation is every time you/we act like an asshole, aren't kind, considerate or treat others as you want to be treated, that's one day out of the pool. It's a kooky plan but it's better than being told how to think/feel/believe. So be good John Bruni, you don't want to have to sit out of the pool... She and I already have our share of time out days... ;-)