GOODNIGHT, FUCKERS #387: TALES FROM THE PSYCH WARD PROLOGUE

 

I remember when I first got out of the psych ward I told people the only fiction that came close to the reality was One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, and the only reason it fell short was because there weren't enough crazy people in it. I stand by that to this day.

I fucked up last weekend. I like to say that I'm never embarrassed like Spader on The Office, but what happened a week ago I felt red in the face about. I found myself, much to my shame, lying to a friend about it, pretending it didn't happen. That's unfor-fucking-givable. I regret it. That's why I don't delete posts on social media (unless it makes friends fight each other, in which case I will shut that shit down, no exceptions). I said these things. While I might not stand by them anymore, I said them. To delete them would also be unfor-fucking-givable.

But tomorrow I start to serialize my psych ward journal. It was written more or less in the moment. There are a few tweaks you'll notice that I added after. Ordinarily this goes against the principle of Goodnight, Fuckers. I write these things just before I go to sleep in an attempt to exorcise my mind of thoughts that would keep me awake. But GF is also my journal. I used to journal every night. I fell off when my alcoholism got to be too much, but then I started writing these things, and I realized that this substituted journaling. So yeah. What you're about to read tomorrow is a journal of the lowest point in my life.

Which is actually very embarrassing. I show my ass a lot in this thing, and it's not pleasant for me. But in rereading this I remembered how shitty my time on the psych ward was and how I never want to go back. And maybe, just maybe, what I post will help someone.

Remember when AHS Asylum started airing? I mentioned something on social media about how my biggest fear was being sent to a psych ward against my own will. Well, my fear came true, sorta. And you'll get to read all about it.

So yeah. Brace yourself. The next few days is me opening my veins and bleeding all over this blog.

Figuratively. For fuck's sake, don't tell anyone I said that. Jesus.

"I'm never embarrassed."

Negan is my hero.