I saw this Tweet earlier today, and my first reaction was to think, GOOD. But then another horrifying thought occurred to me. I'm sure you know exactly what that thought is, but indulge me for a moment.
When I was younger I had a list of the world's ten most powerful dictators. Each and every time one died, it made me smile. So long, asshole. (It should be noted that I never wondered who would take the tenth spot when everyone moved up to fill the gap. It probably should have concerned me a bit more.)
I no longer have that list (I don't think), but I'm pretty sure if I consulted it now, the last dick standing would be this son of a bitch. Long have I wished to see the headline proclaiming his death, and long have I been disappointed.
However.
For a brief moment, when reading this Tweet, I thought, "It's finally happening." The world will soon be rid of Vladimir S. Putin. (I'm pretty sure Shit is his middle name.) That would put an end to the war in Ukraine that no one but he wants. It would also free the Russian people from a yoke they've been chained to for decades. It would, dare I say it, make the world a much better place.
But.
What if he really is dying? Do you see him going quietly into the night? Or do you see him jamming his finger down on the button? "Fuck this. If I'm dying, I'm taking the goddam world with me."
And that's the horrifying thought. What if his impending death means that the Doomsday Clock finally strikes midnight?
"It's time to get familiar with cannibalism." Hunter S. Thompson said that, but holy shit, we won't have any time for that business. Even if there are some people unlucky enough to survive a planet wide nuclear holocaust, and even if they were free of radiation poisoning, how long would they last when resorting to cannibalism?
I guess if there's a lesson in tonight's Goodnight, Fuckers, it's this: if you plan on becoming a cannibal, now is the time to do it. Don't wait until it's too late.
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