As many of you know I'm a huge fan of history. So you'd think the History Channel would be right up my alley. And it was, kind of. And then it started morphing into something weird, like how the Learning Channel doesn't do educational shows.
I happened upon an issue of the History Channel Magazine, and it was so good I became a lifetime member of the History Channel Club. I got some neat things for free, including a Civil War chess set, and I was supposed to get every issue of the magazine for the rest of my life. I loved those issues. They were chockful of excellent articles going into depth on historical events. I learned so goddam much from that magazine. It was the high point of my relationship with the brand.
Because soon the only history you could get was WWII history, almost always stuff about Hitler and Nazis. And you had to tune in late at night because during they day they ran tabloid bullshit.
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| You know exactly what I mean by tabloid bullshit. |
I enjoy stupid stories about aliens, but I don't want to get that through a venue that calls itself the History Channel. I want stories about history. Actual history. From actual historians.
And then the magazine changed, too. It became Warrior and was exclusively about war history. I'm interested in war history, too, but I want more than just that. And it seemed that the new magazine wasn't interested in non-American wars. Every time I got the issue I flipped to the TOC to see if there was anything interesting. There almost never was. When Warrior stopped showing up in my mailbox I did not bother trying to find out what happened to my "lifetime subscription."
That was the last straw. I ended my relationship with the History Channel then and there. I haven't looked back since.
Except . . .
When I'm cleaning up around the house I like to play something in the background. It's helpful if it's educational, in particular about history. On Paramount+ I found a show called 10 Things You Don't Know About.
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| I have not seen any episodes hosted by Henry Rollins |
Often times I stopped what I was doing while host David Eisenbach told me stuff that I really didn't know about. I know more about unusual history than almost everyone I know, and I still didn't know 75% of this. I only watched the first season, as the second was not yet available. Apparently they got Henry Rollins to take over for Eisenbach. Not sure why. I like Rollins, but Eisenbach was a great host. Maybe a bit unkempt, and he always looked a little hungover, but he knew his shit.
It surprised me to learn that this is an actual show on the History Channel. Kind of. It's on something called H2. Maybe it's like when MTV invented an all music channel to explain to people where the music videos went. What, real history? Oh. You can get that on H2. You sure you don't want 100% true facts about bigfoot and aliens? We probably got some Hitler stuff around here somewhere. He wanted an army of werewolves, you know.
I highly recommend that show. I hope they post season 2 eventually. I'll miss Eisenbach, but Henry Rollins is probably an awesome host.
AH-AH-AH! Stop right there. I know exactly what you were about to bring up.
I'm pretty sure Rollins was not thrilled to be there for Night Visions. Every time they brought him out to do his Serling schtick he was always terse and monotone, like he knew it was just a job and he was there for the paycheck. I was excited for Night Visions. I was let down. I stuck around because I wanted it to be good, but that's a lesson I've learned and have not repeated for a very long time.
If you want to know what a real shitshow Night Visions was, you should hunt down Thomas F. Monteleone's Mothers and Fathers Italian Association piece on how they fucked him over for his episode, "Hate Puppet." Monteleone was outed not too long ago for being a terrible human being, so don't pay to read it. Find it online somewhere. Or buy a used copy of the issue of Cemetery Dance in which it appeared (as that way the money won't reach him). It's a fucked up story. Too bad. William Atherton is in that one, and he was good with what he was given. He's always great. He was good as the mayor in the new Ghostbusters.
At any rate, maybe there's hope for the History Channel after all. I just won't hold my breath.
PS: Eisenbach apparently teamed up with Larry Flynt for a book called One Nation Under Sex! So I guess I have to track that down now. Here's your extra credit: read this interview with Eisenbach about this book here. I think you'll find it very interesting.
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