GOODNIGHT, FUCKERS #732: A FANTASY

 I have this fantasy, but I have to set the stage first. So there is no misunderstanding (and I doubt there would be, as you all know me pretty well by now), in the fight between Disney and DeSantis, I'm with Disney. Because fuck Dion. But! Disney is a soulless corporation, perhaps the king of all soulless corporations. Wait, that's redundant. Anyway, you know how I feel about corporations and how they've effectively destroyed America. So also, fuck Disney, even if they did give us The Last Jedi, one of my favorite Star Wars movies.

OK, so we all know how much of a hard on corporations have for using AI art. Disney recently caught some shit for generating the opening credits of Secret Invasion using AI. They have even more plans for that kind of thing like any other corporation bent on destroying the lives of those who need to earn a living. But Disney earns a special place in my heart of hate because of how badly they've abused copyright laws. Every single thing that has ever been copyrighted has has to eventually go into the public domain. Such is the nature of the beast. EXCEPT for Disney properties. They are copyright tyrants, and for some reason we let them get away with that when we wouldn't allow anyone else do that. They're so twisted up they sued a daycare in the middle of nowhere for using an image of Mickey Mouse on their wall. How fucking evil must you be to sue a daycare for something so inoffensive?

Let's get back to my fantasy. But first, here's something I saw the other day:

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Ah. Yes. Yes, indeed. Here's my fantasy. Disney learns that someone used their Secret Invasion opening credits for something else, and they're making a lot of money off this. Money they're refusing to share with Disney. So they take this someone to court, eager to sue for millions of dollars. Of course, I'm sitting in the crowd so I can see the look on Bob Iger's face when the judge says that Disney doesn't have a leg to stand on. That they can't sue. And that all the AI art they used in everything starting this year does not actually belong to them, that anyone can use it. And there isn't a goddam thing Disney can do about it.

Yeah, I know. Bob Iger wouldn't actually be there in real life, but like I said this is a fantasy. I want to see the crestfallen look on that piece of shit's face as the stockholders suddenly wonder why they brought him back in the first place. I want to be in on the investor relations call when they can his ass.

I'm hard thinking about it right now. My dreams are going to be excellent tonight, I think. Goodnight, fuckers.

GOODNIGHT, FUCKERS #577: ANDOR

 

So when they announced Rogue One, I couldn't help but think, we don't need this shit. The story of how the rebels got the Death Star plans? Fuck that. But then I saw the movie, and it turned out to be pretty fucking good. In fact, it has the greatest ending to a Star Wars movie that isn't called The Empire Strikes Back.

And then they announced the show, Andor, based on the past of one of those characters from Rogue One. And I couldn't help but think, we don't need this shit. Fuck that. But in the end, I loved the show. It had a rocky beginning, and I almost checked out of the show, but around the middle it got really good, and by the end it had blown me away.

Star Wars has had a long history of saying fuck The Man. The evil empire needs rebels to take it down and give freedom and peace to everyone. Andor continues this tradition on a much starker level. There are no lightsabers and Jedi. Darth Vader does not make an appearance. This is all about rebellion and making The Man pay dearly for his widespread policy of oppression.

It's kind of weird when I see Star Wars fans siding with the government on a lot of things, especially when they're voicing their opinions in favor of oppression. People worry about the rail workers going on strike and ruining their day, for example. They want the government to stop that strike from happening by throwing those rail workers a bone instead of giving them what they need. I wonder if it ever occurs to them that they're encouraging a very real evil empire. I don't imagine they watch Star Wars because they agree with the Emperor.

It puzzles me even more that Disney allows this to happen. What are the biggest corporations in entertainment? Don't bother to Google it. Disney is number one with a bullet. You don't get to be that big without being in bed with the evil empire that rules you. Disney essentially is the Empire, and yet it's giving us this story about how important it is to rebel against the Powers That Be? Very strange.

Then again, these are strange times. But to quote a great man, "They always were."

GOODNIGHT, FUCKERS #104: NIGHT ON DRUNK MOUNTAIN

A Halloween tradition for me is watching "Night on Bald Mountain," a segment from Disney's FANTASIA. It's spooky as all fuck, but also incredibly sad. I missed it this year because I was busy getting drunk instead, but I watched it the next day.


I'm sure a lot of you can understand why I get such a kick out of this thing. It's a great party of ghosts and demons, and the orchestra of chaos and madness is a sight to behold. It's so unusual for something like this to exist from the time it was created. One would think it would have been banned for being Satanic.


But the demons dancing and the ghosts swirling aren't the reasons I truly enjoy this piece. My favorite part comes when the monster, who is probably the Devil, is excited to continue his insane party but is prevented by the dawning sun and the toll of the church bells. The demons skulk away to the shadows, and the ghosts drift back down to their graves, banished for yet another year.


And the monster, yearning for so much more, reaches mournfully to the brightening sky before folding himself back into Bald Mountain. As his arms fall, and the wings tighten around him, that's when I feel the saddest.


Until next year . . .