GOODNIGHT, FUCKERS #547: MY FLASK COLLECTION

I love Justified.

 So I've been packing all my shit for my inevitable move, and over the weekend I discovered my flask collection. That was my 93rd day free of booze, and this is my 96th. What the hell am I going to do with these things?

During IOP one of my fellow addicts talked about finding a bottle of booze not too long after this person's first sober day. This person talked about not knowing what to do with it and not wanting to pour it down the sink because, hey, that cost money. At least it can work as a gift, right? I'm the same way, so I think about that story a lot mostly because it is entirely possible that while packing my shit I will find a hidden bottle. I had a bunch of them squirreled away throughout my bedroom for a rainy day. I'm pretty sure I drank them all, but what if I didn't? Would I be able to do as my friend did? Would I be able to pour it down the drain?

I honestly don't know. It hasn't come up (yet), so maybe I'll never know. But the closest I've come is finding those flasks. None of them had anything in them. They didn't tempt me to go out to the liquor store, either. BUT! I did open them and take a whiff at the insides. Holy fucking hell, I miss drinking. I'm still not feeling any cravings, but the smell brought back memories.

What am I going to do with these things? I have a pretty sweet Justified flask. I know I'll probably clean it out and give it back to the friend who gifted it to me. The others? Do I just throw them out? Some of them were gifts, too. Or maybe they're worth something? I don't know what the market is for stainless steel. Probably nothing, right? Do pawn shops take this sort of thing?

C2E2 2013: THE WILDSTORM CHRONICLES #3: MEETING PATTON OSWALT

Honestly, I didn’t expect that I would get to meet Patton Oswalt.  I wanted to, but I knew his line would be impossibly long, and there would be no chance of getting in there.  Still, on the off-chance that I did manage to succeed, I wanted to bring one thing for him to sign.  I have a bunch of movies and TV shows he’d been on, but I wanted something a bit more personal.  The only stand-up work I have of his is digital, and I wasn’t about to ask him to sign my laptop.

And then it hit me.  Holy shit, he wrote a part of the “Masks” storyline in WILDSTORM PRESENTS!  Why not bring that along?

Like I said, I knew it would be super-hard to meet him, because he was only signing for an hour.  30 minutes of that would be spent by me in the IDW panel, which I had to cover.  It went the whole time, too, so I only had a half an hour to make it down to Oswalt’s autographing table and stand in a line that would probably be too long.

Sure enough, when I got there, I had 15 minutes to go before he had to go, and the C2E2 employee told me and a few other latecomers that Oswalt strictly had to leave at the top of the hour.  Great.  I looked at that line and knew there was no way in hell I’d get up there.  But fuck it.  At that time, I didn’t have anything else going on.  Might as well take the chance.

I’m glad I did.  The line moved super fast, and the reason was because he was rushing through the signing, hoping to get everyone before the next celebrity showed up to take over.  I knew I’d only have a few words with him while he signed the one thing I’d brought along.

At the very top of the hour, I made it to his table.  I greeted him and told him it was nice to meet him.  And then I put the issue of WILDSTORM PRESENTS down on the table, and he looked very confused.  For the third time that day, someone whose work was in the book had no idea what they were looking at.

“I don’t think I’m in this one,” he said.

I told him that he did a part of “Masks” with Amanda Conner, and then he snapped into recognition.  He told me that, surprise, he hadn’t seen this one.  He signed it as quickly as he could and sent me on my way.  I had time for just one final sentence:  “You’re great on JUSTIFIED!”

He smiled graciously and thanked me as the next fan rushed to meet him.

There were two more people in the book that were at the convention.  As it turned out Brian Azzarello wasn’t doing a signing, so I wasn’t able to get him, but that left Doug Mahnke . . . .