GOODNIGHT, FUCKERS #576: RIP NEGAN AND FRIENDS

 I was a fan of The Walking Dead for a long time before the show premiered. I knew the team of Kirkman and Moore before even the first issue came out. I was a huge fan of their previous book, Battle Pope, and at my first comics convention I bought a Battle Pope shirt off of them personally.

In case you're not familiar with Battle Pope

When I saw that they were putting a book out through Image about the zombie apocalypse, I got very jazzed. Bought it fresh off the press. The Walking Dead #1. I eventually got it signed by Kirkman and Moore. This was in the days just before the show started. Kirkman was easy to get. He wasn't even on the list of guests. He was just hanging out at the Image booth. I got to talk to him while waiting in line for Moore, who had been on the guest list. Our talk went so well that he gave me volume one of the Invincible omnibus for free. That's a hell of an expensive book, but it paid off. I got all the others in the series, too. Moore was a lot harder to get, and that's a story for another day because this isn't about the comics.

It's about the show. I remember when the first episode aired. It was a double episode, if I recall. I made it very clear to my girlfriend at the time that no matter what we did it would involve watching The Walking Dead. So we did. I loved the hell out of it, and after getting fabulously drunk and having lots of sex, we both passed out only to be woken up in the middle of the night by the replay. Specifically by the car alarm scene because I'd left the TV blaring when we passed out.

But after that first season the show had its ups and downs. A lot more downs than I would have hoped for. It got to the point where I was baffled by the writers because they weren't doing anything cohesive with this. If they found an opportunity to make a tangent, they would do so and follow it until they had no choice but to go back to the story. They lacked focus. But every once in a while they fired on all cylinders, and that kept me engaged.

And then they introduced Negan. They handled the end of his first episode poorly. His second went pretty well when he out-Neganed the comics Negan by killing Abraham and Glenn. That was pretty sweet. But Rick and his crew kept descending into madness and stupidity until I reached the point where I thought FUCK THEM. I want Negan to kill them all and take over the show.

And so Negan and Friends was born. And when I got tired of Fear the Walking Dead, I started calling it Where's Negan and Friends? But then it got really good and I started calling it The Adventures of Victor Strand in the Nuclear Zombie Apocalypse. And now it's going to be stupid again, so it's back to Where's Negan and Friends?

They really should have called Dead City Negan Lives, but what the hell. It will probably get bogged down by Maggie's bullshit, so I'm calling it Negan and Friend. The Daryl Dixon show? I won't bother. Maybe it will be Friend of Negan? Don't even ask me about the Rick and Michonne one. I have the least interest in that one unless Rick and Michonne die horribly in the first episode. It could be called Negan and Friends: Pee-Pee Pants City.

World Beyond? What's that?

PS:

PSS: This always makes me laugh.

GOODNIGHT, FUCKERS #313: ROBERT KIRKMAN AND INVINCIBLE

 

It has become fashionable to talk shit about Robert Kirkman. I think I know why. 90% is that he is a lowly comics writer who has suddenly made it big. Which is bullshit, and I dismiss it. The other 10%? I think they're pissed off about how he ended The Walking Dead. It upset me a bit, too, but when I actually read it? It made perfect, wonderful sense. Say what you will about the man, he writes the perfect endings, no matter how much they can tear your heart out. Brian K. Vaughan is better at that. After Ex Machina and Y: The Last Man, I am deathly afraid for every character in Saga. But Kirkman is fucking great at it.

Before I continue, I should say that I currently read no Kirkman books. I try them all, and none of them recently has connected with me, so I don't read on. That's just in the interest of full disclosure. If you enjoy them, cool. I'm glad. I hate it when perfectly good art is wasted, because I'm not always the best judge of that.

So Invincible. I've been talking about it a lot on my social media because I get the Ultimate editions. I only get them at comics conventions. And, well, I don't attend these anymore. It's not because of the 'rona. I stopped doing these shows years ago, and that's a story for another day. Maybe tomorrow, if I'm sober enough and anyone is interested. The reason I'm talking about these books is I just finally ordered the last three online, and I'm reading them now. Anyway, I'm quickly approaching the ending. That's why this has been on my mind.

Getting back to how I started off, it's fashionable to talk shit about Kirkman. I'll get into that shortly, but the important thing to take away from this is, I'm going to say some awesome things about him right here, right now.

I knew Kirkman before TWD took off. I should amend that. We're not friends. We are barely acquaintances. Didn't want to give the wrong impression there. I remember ages ago when I picked up this book called Battle Pope off the shelves of a comic book store. I fell in love immediately. Fast forward a few years, and I found myself actually becoming friends with Brian Pulido, the guy who created Evil Ernie and wrote (and still writes) Lady Death. Over a phone call, he invited me to my first comics convention, which was Wizard World Chicago many years ago. I went specifically to meet him and talk about cool shit with him. And then I found a few other great comics writers there, including Garth Ennis, when Preacher was just barely into its 21st issue.

And then I ran into Kirkman and Tony Moore at their Funk-O-Tron booth. It was just them. No one else. No crazy shit. Very few fans. Knowing Battle Pope, I got excited and talked with them for a while. I got them to sign some Battle Pope issues, and I got one of my favorite shirts ever. I got too fat and can't wear it now, but it showed Battle Pope's face, smoking a cigar, and it said BRING ON THE WHORES!

Remember that. I'll get back to it soon.

So the next con I went to, I brought my own issues of Battle Pope and got them signed by both. And the next one (I think; if memory serves). It was the next one where I saw Kirkman wouldn't be there, but Moore would be. I gathered together my TWD books that were illustrated by Moore (first editions, all), and I went to this con, super excited. To be fair, I didn't think TWD would last long. Who bought zombie books in black and white except for Evil Ernie fans? I dug it, though, so I was happy. I stood in line for Moore, and guess what happened. Yeah, surprise! Kirkman was there, after all. I just glanced over and saw him working the table behind Moore. No one seemed to know who he was. I said, "Kirkman! I had no idea you would be here!" We talked a bit, and being a super nerd, I got him to sign the issues of TWD I brought (again, those are the first issues, first editions, that I eventually got Moore to sign, too). We talked a bit, and I told him how much I liked the new series. And then he said, "Have you tried Invincible?"

I don't like superheroes. I'd vaguely heard about it, but I didn't know he'd written it. I didn't mention that, but I said I hadn't. What did he do? He pulled out the first Invincible Ultimate Collection (there was only one at the time), and he gave it to me. For free. He signed it, and then he turned to this guy I didn't recognize. It turned out to be Ryan Ottley, who started illustrating the book starting with issue 8. He signed it, too.

It took me forever to get to Moore. Like, I was next, and then he announced that he had to go sign elsewhere. So he said go here, and he'll be there. I got there second in line, but the dude in front of me asked for this crazy, elaborate commission, and he paid enough to get it immediately. Long story short, I waited three hours to get Moore to sign my first issues of TWD. Not complaining. It sucked, sure, but I know cons. I get how they work. But dammit, I got my issues signed. Before anyone who might be prosecution for my bankruptcy case reads this and gets ideas, I can't prove it. I have no certificates. No pictures of me with these guys. In fact, without those things, my issues of TWD are probably worth less with their scribbles on them. But I don't care. I treasure them because they mean something to ME.

But read all that again. In what fucking world does a creator give away something that is super fucking expensive for free just 'cause? I'd get giving away a trade paperback for free just for the read and the likes, but a giant, thick, expensive hardcover book? Maybe worth fifty bucks? No. I think he trusted that I would like this. And I did. I fucking did.

I don't like superheroes. I think they're stupid (unless Ennis is writing Punisher or Fury, Azzarello is writing Batman or Wonder Woman or Brubaker is doing Captain America or Daredevil, etc.). And I'm about to blaspheme here, but Batman is the fucking worst of the bunch. Again, that's a story for another day. But Batman can eat my ass. I dig the movies (most of them), but fuck Batman. DC said they're killing him but not really. BIG FUCKING NEWS, RIGHT?! STOP THE PRESSES! DC IS KILLING BATMAN AGAIN BUT NOT REALLY!

Yes, that's a sore spot. But superheroes are stupid. The only one I ever truly liked was Punisher, and he's a vigilante, not a superhero (except for that awful time that he had superpowers from heaven, I think?). I celebrated when he killed the Marvel Universe, and I'm getting way the fuck off track again.

But I loved Invincible. He was the most plausible superhero ever. He was also pretty R rated despite his appeal to a PG-13 audience. Hell, maybe a PG audience. But this book was not for kids. There is a lot of blood. So much blood. And popped eyeballs. And other gross stuff. Hell, here's an exclusive (not that any single person in the world gives a flying fuck about it): Invincible was a huge influence on my book, And Jesus Came Back. My shit usually wears its influences on its sleeve, so if you've read my book and not Invincible, read Invincible. The influence will be very apparent.

Hell, even my brother (the Vegas one, who works in security and probably doesn't want me to name him here) loves the series, and I didn't know he liked comics until we talked about the book years ago.

Kirkman gave me that first book, just like a drug dealer. The first is always free, right? But while the idea may have flitted at the back of his head, he did not mean it like that. For all he knew (and this was before he was on the board of directors for Image), his book would be canceled the very next day. But he gave it to me, and I have always been grateful. It's a great book.

I've got one full volume left. I'm a few issues into the 11th. And goddammit, I'm dreading the ending. But I know he'll do it right. He may have fucked with the distributors for TWD, but his ending was really fucking good.

I think in about a week, he will have torn my heart out again, and I'll be very happy about it.

PS: At the last convention I went to, I'd talked with a lot of my indie comics friends. They said they were having an after party at such and such restaurant, which was down the street. I went there to discover that the line to get in was fucking huge. Out the door huge. But they were already in, and I was a guest, so I pushed through as best I could. I was wearing my Battle Pope shirt, the one that says BRING ON THE WHORES. Some guy stopped me and said, "Hey, I know Kirkman!"

"Yeah, me too." Kinda.

"I designed that shirt!"

"Cool. I like it, man!"

"He treated me like shit! Fuck that guy!"

Now, I don't know if this guy was telling the truth, but it sounded like he believed it, at the very least. To quote Raymond Reddington, "I have no interest in things that don't interest me." One of the things that doesn't interest me is getting into arguments over pop culture. If you like the same stuff I like, cool. If you hate the stuff I like, cool. You do you, and I'll do me. So I said, "He's always treated me well." The guy waved a dismissive hand at me, and I went about my life. But yeah, for various reasons, people can't help but talk shit about Kirkman. Oh well. I like him plenty.