"I'm right handed in all things except for one." Roland Deschain said that in The Drawing of the Three, and I've been parroting that amazing line ever since I first read it decades ago. Because it's true for me. I'm right handed in just about everything I do except for jerking off. That's lefty's job all the way.
But having recently had a splint on my left hand I've discovered that I do a lot more with lefty than I ever thought possible. Here is a list of these things while they're fresh on my mind. (I'm not including typing on this list as that is a given.)
I aim my dick with my left hand when I piss.
I steer my car with my left hand.
I open cans with my left hand.
When I need to go up a step, I brace with my left hand. (Also, when I stand up from a chair or from bed, I brace with lefty.)
I hold my phone with my left hand (mostly).
I squeeze the toothpaste tube with my left hand.
When I don't have a letter opener, I open envelopes with my left hand.
When mopping the bathroom floor, my left hand is dominant.
When throwing devil horns to metal I use my left hand. (That looked fucking weird with the splint on my ring finger.)
I hold the panhandle with my left hand when I cook.
OK, this is getting boring. You get the idea. I've been dexterous my entire life, but it turns out I've been a lot more sinister than I thought . . .
It should be noted that I can't jerk off with my right hand. I tried when I was younger. It goes all right until the money shot. When I cum it feels too weird and weak and awkward. Kind of like the sudden need to sneeze while pissing.
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