OK, time for the next installment of stuff I've discovered while rereading a bunch of old issues of Playboy. I'm actually a little surprised by the amount of stuff I've got saved so far. I think this might have 20 parts (or more!) by the time we're done. So . . . let's get back into it!
Ladies and gentlemen! Kids of all ages! Step right up and get your tickets! Tommy Jeff and Alexander "The Duel" Hamilton are duking it out for the soul of America! Who will win, the people or the banks?
I didn't know this, but it's true! Hamilton's corpse really *is* on Wall Street! Tacky as that might seem.
Oh yeah, I probably should have mentioned that Gore Vidal wrote this article. It's no surprise whose side he comes down on in this fight. Because fuck Alexander Hamilton. He had it coming.
Hamilton, scumbag that he was, clearly won the fight. And so we are doomed to live our lives at the whim of our corporate overlords. Let's get away from that grim reality to . . .
In regards to 18, that's a question that should make Playboy look bad and kind of gross. But in regards to 19, holy shit, if only Kid Rock remembered his own advice now. I don't want to dwell on that, so let's look at . . .
I'm trying to imagine Harrison Ford pissing into a hotel ice machine now. That is your brief respite from horror, because the next few are going to be pretty bad. Unsurprisingly they're from an interview with Chad Kroeger.
"Salesman" sounds like a euphemism for "con artist."
Maybe people don't have a problem with Nickleback. Maybe they just have a problem with Chad Kroeger.
If you're now imagining Chad Kroeger straining to suck his own dick AND SUCCEEDING, you are welcome.
In case you were wondering if Chad Kroeger's dick is big. Also, imagine you're chugging beers with him, and he suddenly shoves his fingers down your throat to make you puke.
He's 51, by the way. I've read a lot of Playboy interviews, and none of them have the subject's significant other making a guest appearance. I suspect that he was putting on a show for the interviewer, just like a con artist would. Let's move on (finally).
I'll bet this is the first time you've thought about Pete Yorn in a while, but also, this might be the weirdest "My Favorite Playmate" ever.
The curse of the Irish . . . Hart's War, by the way, is a good movie, but it's nowhere near as good as the book it's based on. You should read it.
Reminds me of Jaws 19 and Rocky 5000.
Palahniuk says he never planned on creating actual fight clubs, but something about this quote makes me think he was planning on creating actual fight clubs.
I think that's enough for now. Next time I do one of these, I'm going to cover excerpts from an E. Jean Carroll article with one written by Scott Adams. No matter what you think that is, it's going to be a lot freakier than you think. And not in a good way . . .
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