GOODNIGHT, FUCKERS #699: SELLING BOOKS AT COMICONS

 A while back I saw this thing about whether or not authors should try getting a table at comics conventions. A lot of people seemed to be of the opinion that it's something that should be done with the idea that most people aren't there to buy books. Do it but don't expect much.

I tried selling books at Wizard World Chicago once upon a time, and it is my considered advice to not do it at all. Back then I loved comics conventions. Now I have fallen out of love with them. I have no interest in ever going to one again. But keep in mind, back when I tried to do this, people still went to these things because of comic books. I'm sure there are still a few who do, but they've been overshadowed by movies and TV shows so much that it's kind of galling that anyone dares call these comicons.

So yeah. Almost everyone is there to meet celebrities or go to panels on whatever's going on in the MCU or to see whatever disaster DC is putting together for the big screen. After customers have paid ungodly sums for just getting a ticket and then parking, they're not likely to buy books. They have a list of people they want to meet and how much they will pay for that. Considering the prices for these things, they won't have money to buy a book. There's a reason Artists Alley keeps dwindling year after year. It's been a while since I've been to one of these things, but I wouldn't be surprised to discover that there are only a couple of rows in AA these days.

Here is the number one thing that will happen to you if you decide to do this. I know all about it because this happened to me over and over and over again. Someone will pick up your book and flip through it, then put it down. "I thought there'd be pictures," they always say. Always. And then they'll walk away.

Let's assume that your publisher isn't going to go crazy and get a booth. I don't know of any publisher crazy enough to do that because publishers want to make money, but let's assume they're not involved. You're going to wind up paying hundreds of dollars for a table in AA. Maybe it's up to a thousand by now. I wouldn't be surprised. And then you're going to sell maybe five books. I think that's what I sold over the weekend I tried this at WWC. Certainly no more than ten.

Financially, it's not worth it. The only thing you might have to gain is word of mouth, and when most people aren't interested in buying that book, they're definitely not going to talk about it. Maybe the five people who buy the book will talk about it. Possibly. As far as I know, my five did not.

If you must go to a comicon to sell books, don't do one of the big ones like C2E2 or San Diego. Not unless you like losing massive amounts of money. Take it to a smaller show. The ones that can be contained in a high school gymnasium, for example. Or an outdoors place like DuPage County sometimes puts on. I miss Dancon. I would have sold books there in a heartbeat. If you write horror, and chances are, if you're reading this you do, I'd try shows like Days of the Dead or Flashback Weekend. I've done both shows and did well, although I recommend going with a partner and sharing the costs of the table.

But for the love of fuck, don't sell books at a comicon. It's a disaster waiting to happen. A disaster I know well.

GOODNIGHT, FUCKERS #580: MY COMICS HABIT

 My comics habit used to be out of control. I could easily spend thirty bucks a week on it, and that was an average week. Rarely did I spend less, and a few times I spent as much as sixty. I had to keep track of them all to make sure I didn't miss an issue, and I had a paper with titles on the front and back. Over the years I've gotten it down to one side of the page and very few titles at that.

I'm actually kinda surprised by how few comics I read now especially since I stopped with The Transformers books, and GI Joe just ended. Here is a list of the books I'm reading now.

AMERICAN JESUS

THE GOON (which is on hiatus more often than not)

JIMMY'S LITTLE BASTARDS

JUPITER'S LEGACY: REQUIEM (which is also on hiatus, but this is on purpose)

THE MAGIC ORDER (which only has one issue left)

MASKERADE (which only has one issue left)

QUICK STOPS

SAGA (another on hiatus by purpose, but it will be back in January)

STILLWATER

SPACE BASTARDS (which has been on what seems like a permanent hiatus but the creators swear will be back)

THAT TEXAS BLOOD

And that's it. No wonder it's becoming more and more common for me to have a week without The Best Comic Book of the Week. Remember when I used to do Cool Shit? I had to stop because it was eating up so much of my time, and that was why I started doing TBCBOTW. Now I don't think I could write it on a weekly basis because, well, what would I have to write about?

Technically Injection should probably be on the list, but even if Warren Ellis came back to writing it, I don't think I'd read it. Considering, you know. It's a shame. It was a good book, but I can't support that kind of behavior.

If you want to get real technical, Doktor Sleepless and Anna Mercury are both on the list, but there is no way in hell either one of those would ever come out, anyway. Whatever happened to Avatar Press? I'd heard some rumblings from several people, but I've been sworn to secrecy on some of that. I don't know if what I heard would be the reasons for them disappearing. Too bad. They used to be my favorite small comics press.

GOODNIGHT, FUCKERS #132: I READ TOO MANY COMICS

Sometimes, I miss writing my weekly Cool Shit. But then again, sometimes I'm glad I don't. Near the end, I found myself writing about the same books over and over again. I hate to say this, but there's a saturation in the market right now. There are too many comic books. Quality is rapidly decreasing. I'm glad that comic books have finally reached the point where they're widely received as literature, but the unfortunate thing is that this saturation has led to a cheapening of the medium. It happens. Usually, it's a genre that gets fucked up by this. For now, it's the entire comics industry.


I'm reading too many comics. A shocking amount of them come from habit purchases. Books I've always gotten but have not been as good as they used to be. I took a look at my pull list, and I realized that I could save a lot of money by cutting a few titles.


This, for me, is akin to pulling teeth. I'm a completist. Once I get into buying a book, I don't like to stop. Chances are, the tide will turn against a bad storyline. But . . . I'm getting older. My collection is getting too big. I have to start cutting titles. It hurts, but it has to happen.


I think my major problem is with media tie-ins, so I'm going to cut almost all of them. Here is a list of what I'm going to be dropping from my weekly purchases starting in January.


ANGEL AND FAITH. Let's make one thing clear: when Dark Horse started publishing the next "season" of BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER, I didn't care. But when IDW pushed ANGEL on us, I ate it up. It was a great storyline, and when it translated over to Dark Horse in ANGEL AND FAITH, it was still good. This new "season" hasn't been all that great. I lasted nine issues. Time to kick it to the curb.


ASYLUM: I love John Carpenter, and I'm glad he's doing an original comic book, but quality has dropped. Besides, it's a HELLBLAZER rip-off. I tried it for eight issues. Time to bid it farewell.


BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA: I loved the movie, of course. The book started strong. It's just getting too silly. Buh-bye.


ARMY OF DARKNESS: I should have ditched this one a long time ago. It took me a long time to realize that, well, I know this is blasphemy, but . . . the movie wasn't THAT great. It was fun, but it doesn't justify the time or money I've dedicated to this comic series which has gone up against Freddy and Jason, has saved Obama, has gotten hitched and is now in space. So long, fucker.


FUTURE'S END: I started reading this because of Brian Azzarello's involvement, and at first it was fun. Now, it's dealing in storylines I just don't give a fuck about. I stopped caring about the Batman bullshit, even. The only thing that still kinda-sorta interests me is the interaction with Superman and John Constantine. It's just not enough. Cut.


GOD IS DEAD: I used to love this book from Avatar, but it's lost itself in this odd self-butthole-sucking path that I just can't get into. It should have been a mini-series ending with Jonathan Hickman's involvement. Gotta' lose it.


HINTERKIND: Every time I start losing interest in the series, it redeems itself. I can't continue this dance. It's too much for my wallet. Besides, it's been a while since I cared about it. I won't miss it monthly.


JUDGE DREDD: This one hurts. I'm a big Dredd fan, but the American series has proven itself as a different entity from the UK version. It's obviously not canon, and I can't live with it in that fashion.


SANDMAN: OVERTURE: I've given this one a lot of thought, because I really loved the shit out of the original Gaiman series. My problem with this one is that it's 100% style over content. I'm getting nothing out of it. It's a beautiful book, but that doesn't justify my continuing interest. Sorry. And goodbye.


And then there's Dynamite's attempt at rebooting the Chaos Universe. So far, the only title I liked was CHASTITY, which I think is over now. The others? I want to continue, because I'm a completist (in case I didn't mention it before). However . . . it's shit. There were some good moments in the CHAOS main title, but it's just not enough. There's no heart in anything they do. I'm cutting all titles, even EVIL ERNIE. It's hard to say that, but it's got to happen. I can't afford for this to continue.


Here's a list of titles that are on the brink of getting cut: JUSTICE LEAGUE DARK (which has gotten too silly for my likes, even though it involves Constantine's story arcs, and I'm not ready to give up on CONSTANTINE yet), TEN GRAND (which I'm almost certain is nearly over, anyway), TRANSFORMERS VS. GI JOE (which has got to be the worst version of this team-up ever) and DARK GODS (which is a toss-up, as we speak, but it's only one issue in).


FABLES and FAIREST have both lost their appeal to me, but they'll be over in a couple of months. I've already decided that ANGRY BIRDS/TRANSFORMERS is so terrible that I cannot continue with it. I'm pretty sure that GRAVEL and SERENITY have both been quietly canceled. So what does this leave for me?


Here is the most current list of the comics I read and won't be cutting: AMERICAN VAMPIRE (which is the best vampire book on the market, comics, books and movies), CONSTANTINE (which is just barely good enough and sometimes conjures up the good ol' days of HELLBLAZER, even though he's on Earth 2 right now), CROSSED: BADLANDS (which is still fucking awesome), CROSSED +100 (even though I'm not a big fan, I'm willing to wait out Alan Moore's story), THE DARK TOWER: THE DRAWING OF THE THREE (I love what they're doing with this, even though not all of it is detailed in the books), DJANGO AND ZORRO (who the fuck would cut a book by Quentin Tarantino from their pull list?), EX-CON (which has combined horror and crime perfectly), THE FADE OUT (which promises to be the greatest crime comic book ever written), FBP (which features science adventure unlike any book ever written, even in Heinlein's time), Larry Hama's G.I. JOE (which is a continuation of the book I enjoyed as a child, so I would never give it up), G.I. JOE (which has recovered from the brief period of fuckery it lived through a few months ago), GOD HATES ASTRONAUTS (which is so batshit crazy it should never be dropped from anyone's pull list), JUPITER'S LEGACY (I would never drop a Mark Millar book, especially one that only has an issue left), THE KITCHEN (I think this book could be cool, but we're only one issue in so far), MPH (see my previous Millar answer), NIGHT BREED (which has succeeded beyond my wildest expectations), PUNKS (which is one of the most original books I've read in a while), SAGA (which is one of the greatest comic books ever written), SEX CRIMINALS (you know why I wouldn't give this one up), SUPREME BLUE ROSE (which is bending the way I think about comic books), TRANSFORMERS (both the prime title, previously known as ROBOTS IN DISGUISE, and MORE THAN MEETS THE EYE, because they are even better than the old Marvel books back in the day, and DRIFT because, well, it's on par with the other two), TREES (which has been pushing the boundaries of SF), THE TWILIGHT ZONE (which has beaten the odds and has been producing incredibly original stories), VELVET (which is the perfect spy story), WAR STORIES (I would sooner cut my own dick off before cutting a Garth Ennis title from my pull list, especially one as violent and beautiful as this one), WYTCHES (which is an incredibly complex horror story) and THE WALKING DEAD (do I even have to list my reason?).


That's still an impressive list. I don't think my comic book dealer will go out of business because of my cuts. Please note the shocking lack of superhero books on that list. Not all comics have to be about people who wear their underwear on the outside of their clothes. Thank you for your attention.