GOODNIGHT, FUCKERS #829: AN OPEN LETTER TO MOONSTONE BOOKS

 

Dear Moonstone Books,

I've been reading your Kolchak comics for as long as you've been putting them out. Also, my eternal thanks for reprinting The Kolchak Papers by Jeff Rice, a book I'd tried to find for years before you brought it out again, and I found it at a comics convention. I've read your anthologies, and if you have Kolchak in a Double Shot, I get that, too.

I'm familiar with your other properties, but I'm a Kolchak superfan. I loved the two movies and the show. I did not like the remake of the show, which I skipped after watching that abortion of a first episode. I see you also publish Sherlock Holmes stories, and I've read all the originals by Doyle.

I say all of this to lighten the blow, because while I enjoy reading your books, I find the editing to be absolutely atrocious. It's to the point where I wonder if you even have an editor. For a professional publisher, you seem to be OK with letting typos run wild, and your authors don't seem to have much guidance when it comes to the content. The stories are great. The execution? Not so much.

The reason for this open letter is because I just finished reading Kolchak: The Night Stalker: Dead Reckoning by Eric Fein. An excellent story, but there are so many problems with the book that the story is almost lost in the mess. I'd review this on Amazon or Goodreads, but you don't seem to have much of an interest in having this book (or many others) listed there. I have to believe one of two things. Either you don't have an editor (or an editor worth their salt), or you think that fans of your properties will buy anything, that the content doesn't matter. I'd much rather believe the first, but the longer I live, the more I realize that certain fandoms will buy anything in that fandom even if it sucks. Evan Dorkin has a strip in which a Batman fanatic will buy any Batman book, even one that comes with anthrax, because "gotta have my Batman."

First of all, letting a title like "Dead Reckoning" out into the wild is extraordinarily lazy. Especially since it doesn't seem to mean anything. Like "Blood Moon." How many things are called Blood Moon? It transcends the idea of stereotypical horror.

Also, why are you having Vincenzo rabidly siding with the Dispatch's publisher? Vincenzo is a newsman first and foremost. He understands the business. He knows the publisher is the boss, and what they say goes, but he has the desire to get to the truth just like Kolchak does. It's one thing when Vincenzo is yelling at Kolchak over writing an article about, say, vampires, but it's another when a legitimate news story is getting a cover up by authorities to the point where he has to kill said story. He should be commiserating with Kolchak on that one, not yelling at him. I appreciate that you had Vincenzo send Kolchak off with one purpose and very subtly telling Kolchak to do something else. That was good.

I don't want to go off too much on the story because I thoroughly enjoyed it, but the way it's told is just so wrong. Do you want readers to be pulled out of the story by something stupid like a typo? Or a sentence that doesn't make sense until you realize a word or two are missing?

Which brings me to the point of this open letter. HIRE ME AS YOUR EDITOR. My passion is for Kolchak, but I'll edit all your properties. I'm an amazing editor, if I don't say so myself. A typo or two might still get through. I find that in my own work I usually have a couple that escape my attention. Compared to the countless legions I encountered in just this one book? If you don't believe me, perhaps the words of another editor will convince you. Just read the first paragraph here, and you'll see that I'm not just delusional. I've edited books for StrangeHouse and New Kink and Rooster Republic Press. That doesn't even count my own books. Editors I've worked with don't have to take me to task for spelling, grammar, etc. I can fix that for your books. And I'm more than just a line editor. I can actually help authors shape their books into stronger fiction. I don't want to shit talk Eric Fein. I'm sure he's a good guy, but he often overcomplicates his sentences, which is another thing I see often in your books.

Best of all, I'm local. I live in Elmhurst, 45 minutes away from Lockport. If you need me in the office, I can be there. All I ask is a decent wage. $70K per year would be ideal, but I'm open to negotiations. It's a lot of money, but I'm worth it.

Think about it. You can reach me at tabardinnedgewoodent@yahoo.com. Oh yeah, I used to be an editor and publisher of my own fiction magazine, Tabard Inn: Tales of Questionable Taste, published by Edgewood Entertainment. See? I can help. I want to read a Moonstone Kolchak adventure free of errors, and if that means I have to do it myself, I'm fully willing to do that.

Best wishes,

John Bruni

GOODNIGHT, FUCKERS #709: KOLCHAK NOSFERATU

 

I've been a fan of Kolchak for many, many years. I spent a lot of my time searching for The Kolchak Papers by Jeff Rice, and when I finally found it at a comics convention, I can't tell you how happy I was. I was even happier when I read it and discovered how fucking great it was. Rice wrote like white hot lightning.

Moonstone's Kolchak stuff is sometimes great, sometimes just merely good, and often times not so great. When I picked up the book above it was with mixed expectations. John Everson has a story in this, and I like his work. I knew I'd at least like his story (big surprise, I did), but I'm kind of surprised that I liked them all.

The one I liked most was written by Christopher Sequeira, whom I'm not too familiar with. He's also the editor, which is sometimes a hit or miss proposition. Even great editors, when they put their own stories in their anthologies, sometimes falter. But this was pretty fucking good. A group of Nosferatu groupies, er, scholars, puts together the uncut original version of the movie with plans to screen it . . . except a real life Nosferatu starts stalking victims in the vicinity. The explanation behind why this is, and why Nosferatu can walk in the sunlight, is really good. It's a very unusual story, and I'm definitely going to keep an eye out for more of Sequeira's work.

My only problem is the same problem I have with all Moonstone books. The comic books seem immune to this, but the prose books? They all have a shit-ton of typos, and this one is no exception. I wish they'd hire me as a line editor.

Hey, if someone at Moonstone is reading this, I'm also an editor! And I'm really fucking good at it! I'll give you affordable rates! Plus, I'm local! Lockport is 45 minutes from me! You can contact me at tabardinnedgewoodent (at) yahoo (dot) com!

Sorry. I had to get this off my chest. I usually review books on Goodreads, but this one isn't up there.

COOL SHIT 3-17-11

[NOTE:  THERE WAS ANOTHER BOOK I WAS GOING TO TALK ABOUT (THE NEW ISSUE OF SPIKE), BUT THE THING I WANTED TO MENTION IS A MAJOR SPOILER.  THERE IS NOTHING ELSE INTERESTING IN IT, SO IT WOULD BE POINTLESS TO BRING IT UP.  STILL AND ALL, I RECOMMEND THAT YOU PICK UP THE BOOK.  IN THE MEANTIME, THERE WAS ONLY ONE TITLE FOR THIS WEEK’S COOL SHIT:]

KOLCHAK:  THE NIGHT STALKER FILES #2:  Holy Jesus, it’s finally happened.  Kolchak has finally found his perfect job:  working at a tabloid.  Granted, he’s reluctant to take it on because he’s a REAL journalist, dammit.  But here he is, working a job where he can pick his own stories and write about whatever he wants (except for aliens; another reporter covers that beat).  And why the fuck would his editor kill any of his stories?  IT’S A TABLOID!  The paycheck is big, and it comes with insurance and a place to stay while he finds an apartment.  And don’t forget the office with a view.  It seems too good to be true.  Kolchak has moved to Miami, and just in time, too.  You see, a skunk ape has been killing folks, and guess who gets to cover this one.  Oh yeah.