GOODNIGHT, FUCKERS #1067: BASS-ACKWARDS

 Of all the people Trump has given us, there's only one who I actually enjoy. Legitimately, not out of some twisted joke or ironically or anything like that. It's been a while since I spoke of the Mooch, but I've actually been listening to some of his shows, and they're very good. If I was a Republican, I would probably be him.

One of the things he likes to talk about is how our political system has somehow switched around the voting process. Traditionally, the voters are supposed to select the politicians. With gerrymandering, the politicians are picking the voters, and that is fucking insanity. Pure goddam insanity. How have we let things get so bass-ackwards in this country?

But I'd like to go a little farther than the Mooch on this, because the current market is also bass-ackwards. It was still OK(-ish) when I was a kid, so this is a fairly new development. It may explain why our corporate overlords have so much more money than we do. Their sole purpose these days is to transfer value from our pocket to theirs, and the less they give us in return, the better. The ridiculous thing is, they've somehow gotten it so that even if we buy their products, we don't *own* them. We have to use their products the way they were intended to be used, and if we don't, then we're in violation of the deal we made when purchasing it. Depending on the degree of that violation, it's even possible that we've committed a felony.

I'll give you an example. When I bought my printer, I was under the impression that I could use that printer as I saw fit. If I ran out of ink, and the manufacturer's cartridges are too expensive, I should be able to use another company's ink in that printer. But no, if you try to do that, your printer will reject it. You are legally required to purchase their ink to go with your printer. Cory Doctorow is fond of pointing out that HP ink is more expensive, by volume, than a Kentucky Derby winner's sperm.

To me, that is bass-ackwards. The consumer is supposed to dictate terms to the market. Instead, we find ourselves in Bizarro World where the corporations dictate terms to the market. No wonder the economy is fucking broken. Maybe we should fix that?

GOODNIGHT, FUCKERS #910: THE MOOCH

 I've got a soft spot for the Mooch, Anthony Scaramucci. Of all the clowns and con artists Trump hired during his tenure as president, the Mooch is the only one I miss. Politics should be full of curse words. Every politician's speech should have at least a dozen "fucks" in it, and the Mooch was a foul-mouthed son of a biscuit. My favorite was when he said that he wasn't trying to suck his own cock, not like Steve Bannon. That's a very apt description of Bannon, the best I've ever heard. I wish the Mooch would turn his profanity to the rest of the Trump assholes.

Make no mistake. The Mooch is still a terrible person. There's a reason Trump hired him, after all. But now the Mooch is living off of trashing his former boss. I think that's a fine endeavor. And I like that he claims Trump knew all about Project 2025 and, in fact, put 85 people into the project. Now Trump "disowned" them because the Project wasn't polling very well. Heh.

"I know how this man thinks," the Mooch said. And it looks like he has a pretty good point. Usually I try to analyze quotes from news articles here, but I think I'm just going to copy and paste this one. It's just too good not to:

Scaramucci discussed the possibility of Trump quitting the race. Citing party insiders, including senators whom he is in touch with, he said they signaled that they tolerated Trump because they wanted to stay in power. They apparently feel Trump is not their cup of tea because of the way he handles himself.

“Some of these people have suggested to me, particularly political insiders, he does not want to go to jail,” Scaramucci said, adding that the number one reason for him to run is to get the Supreme Court to give him broader immunity against his court cases.

if he drops in the poll number, he could figure out a way to cut a deal, said Scaramucci. The businessman doesn’t think his former boss will receive a pardon but thinks he could go to the governors of New York and Georgia and ask that his sentence be commuted.

Scaramucci said Trump could cite health issues as the reason and designate someone like Nikki Haley or Florida Governor Ron DeSantis.

“There’s a pass for him if he drops in the polls and the predictive markets shoot up and he starts to panic. There’s a pass for him to get out of the race, blame it on a health issue, cut a deal and avoid jail,” he said.

Wow. Holy fucking shit. I always figured Trump was the sort of man to roll the dice and see what happens. That's how he's survived so far. But the Mooch makes a very good point about Trump wanting to avoid jail. That's a pretty good way to avoid getting sent to the slammer.

The Mooch had one more thing to add. He posted on Squitter: "Trump psychologically is coming to grips with losing this election. He is growing darker as a result of it." I hope that's true. Nothing would please me greater than to have him scream, Cobra Commander-style, "RETREAT!" while fleeing and throwing Rudy at us as a distraction so he can get away. I can easily see him pulling a Greg Stillson at the end of The Dead Zone. Very easily.

I doubt that Trump and his pack of hench-weirdos are going to go away anytime soon, but if the Mooch is right, and he could very well be, then I look forward to thinking about Trump only when we get his obituary.