When you’ve been to as many conventions as I have been to, you get used to seeing a lot of the same faces. You get a good feel for who will be there and who will not. This helps you prepare what you want to bring to get signed.
When I saw online that John McCrea, artist of HITMAN, DICKS, and THE BOYS, among others, was going to be there this year, I couldn’t believe it. I have NEVER heard of him coming to Chicago. Ever. Here was that chance to get some things signed. I had the first appearance of Tommy Monaghan in BLOODLINES that was signed by Garth Ennis at the second convention I ever went to, and here was my chance to get the artist to sign it. I was very, very happy.
I first saw him at the Dynamite panel, as my faithful readers will recall, and I spent a good portion of my Saturday tracking him down for a signing. At first he was going to be at the Hero Initiative booth, which was kind of a bitch to find. When I did, he wasn’t there yet, so I shopped around a bit. He soon showed up, but by the time I got over there, his line was capped off . . . at five people. Why? Everyone wanted sketches from him.
Which is understandable. This is a convention, after all, and he is an artist. I noticed that he was charging for sketches and autographs, but not for himself. It looked like all proceeds were going to the Hero Initiative. I was perfectly willing to pay whatever it took to get some of these books signed, but I was told that his schedule was full for now. He said that he’d be in artists alley for the rest of the day.
Which is weird, because when I went over there later, he wasn’t charging anything, meaning that Hero Initiative had just turned away money.
Anyway, a few hours later, I went to artists alley and hung around until he showed up. It’s a good thing I did, because as soon as he arrived, a line immediately formed. Thanks to my proximity, I was second in line. He then asked who was here for sketches and who was here for book signing. When he got a clear picture, he said that he would honor book signings first, since those always went fast.
I have to say, that was very gentlemanly of him. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been stuck in long lines because of people who wanted sketches. And don’t even talk to me about the Tony Moore debacle a few years ago.
I asked him how many books he’d be willing to sign, holding up a stack. He said he’d sign them all if I gave a $5 donation to the Hero Initiative. Holy shit, talk about fair! I handed over the books and the money, and he started signing. When he came upon my copy of TROUBLED SOULS, he asked me where I’d gotten it. I told him that I’d rescued it from the garbage at the library. He said that he didn’t think it had ever been issued in hardcover, which confused him. I told him I thought that maybe the book had been damaged, and the library had sent it to a bindery to get it fixed.
And then the hilarious part began. Has anyone here seen the offensive covers to Avatar’s DICKS series? Then you’ll understand why McCrea suddenly became nervous signing them in front of a mother and her child. At first, he tried covering up the really nasty bits, but after a while, those nasty bits became bigger and bigger and bigger.
The mother turned her kid away. Inwardly, I smiled.
And then McCrea reached the Christmas special. This one depicts the main character bawling his eyes out and praying, and Satan hovers above him, his giant cock just about to touch the protagonist’s head. Above both cock and character, Satan holds some mistletoe.
Yeah, McCrea held this one as close to his chest as he signed it. When he was done, he said that he felt kind of dirty. “Serves me right, though. I drew those covers.”
I thanked him and went on my way. Later, when I got home, I saw that he’d signed across Satan’s cock, and I couldn’t help but laugh.
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