Wednesday, October 11, 2017

THE JOHN BRUNI MUSEUM OF MEDIOCRE (AT BEST) SHIT #8: THE RUBBER BAND OF SANITY



[I can’t express to you how embarrassed I am to show you all this one. First, I’m not that great when it comes to poetry. I’ve gotten better at it, but this is the first one I ever had published. It’s from a book called SHELTER IN THE SHADE. I was still in college when I boasted that I’d placed a poem in a publication. Everyone told me I was a fool, and I was still wet behind the ears. Even my own English professor told me I’d been scammed, and I was arrogant enough to not believe him. Oh, what a fool I was! But even crazier: I fell for it a second time. And I still didn’t fully believe it, so I tested it a third time. In other words, I fell for the same publishing scam three times. THREE TIMES. To make matters worse, I ordered a deck of laminated cards with this poem on them. If you’ve made it this far, rest assured that I have learned my mistake, and I’ve been beating myself up over the past 17 years or so.]


STRETCH!
                        STRETCH!
                                    STRETCH!
                                                            SNAP!


The rubber band flew from my finger and hit my cap.
I picked it up and held it in my hand,
and decided to stretch that rubber band once again.


STRETCH!
                        STRETCH!
                                    STRETCH!
                                                            SNAP!


Whoops! The rubber band broke
as well as all hope.

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