THE JOHN BRUNI MUSEUM OF MEDIOCRE (AT BEST) SHIT #14: REVIEW OF ARMAGEDDON #1

[Ah, yes. More evidence that I didn’t have a wide enough experience to review comic books. My focus was always Chaos!, Vertigo and Garth Ennis, essentially. I should have branched out a lot more. This is from the Elmhurst College Leader in the September 27, 1999 issue.]

After such a long wait, it’s finally here! Chaos! Comics’s Armageddon hit the racks with a vengeance, sporting a cover with Chaos! characters from Evil Ernie all the way to The Omen. Artist Luke Ross brings us the best artwork Chaos! has to offer, aside from Steven Hughes. Evil Ernie and company haven’t looked so good since EE: Revenge. The artwork is simply cataclysmic.

The writers Brian Pulido and Len Kaminski aren’t slacking off, either. They offer an explanation for both cattle mutilations and crop circles in a mere three pages. The beginning reads like something out of an HP Lovecraft story, complete with “Tekeli-li’s” that bring to mind the otherworldly creatures that dwelt under Antarctica in “At the Mountains of Madness.”

It soon returns to the world of Chaos! when we see Evil Ernie naming his plane “Scareforce One” in blood. It’s very reminiscent of the old days of Chaos!, especially when Ernie and Lady Death make contact for the first time since EE: Straight to Hell.

Speaking of, Lady Death is on earth again, and she’s brought Hell with her. The punchline: she’s in Las Vegas about to start the greatest fight Hell has seen.

The issue also marks the return of Chastity, Bedlam, and the Omen, all sorely missed for a while. There’s the moment of ultimate horror when the Father of Fear, the bringer of Armageddon, arrives on earth to start the . . . uh . . . chaos. Is it Shub-Niggurath, or any of the other Cthulhu Mythos as is suggested in the beginning? Or is it something Biblical? One way or the other, it looks nasty and dangerous.

This is probably the biggest crossover event comics has seen since DC and Marvel met a few years back. Not only that, but it’s aptly planned. The whole series will run almost weekly until the end of this year. It looks like the end of the world is very possible in the Chaos! Universe.

There’s one slight problem with the comic, though. Armageddon doesn’t mean the end of the world, as most people believe it does. Armageddon is merely the place where the battle between Heaven and Hell is supposed to take place. Apocalypse would be the better word to use. A small problem in the face of such wonderful writing and artwork.

If you don’t know the characters, this probably won’t be your kind of thing, but if you’ve followed Chaos! throughout the years, this is the greatest orgasm you’ll ever have. Evil Ernie, Lady Death, Lucifer, Purgatori, Bedlam, Chastity, the Omen, even Mitchell Wardlow, and that’s not the end of it. There are still twelve more installments to go. With Chaos!’s reputation for escalating plot lines to the very extreme, what’s not to like?

“You haven’t seen anything yet,” said Brian Pulido in the 24^th “Impending Chaos” column. With the vastness of the Chaos! Universe, it’s hard not to believe him. It’s a cataclysmic ride. Enjoy!