Sunday, January 17, 2021

GOODNIGHT, FUCKERS #327: A SOCIAL EXPERIMENT

 So back when I first started making enough money at my job to have $20 bills in my wallet, back when dinosaurs ruled the world, I decided to try out an experiment. I wrote on maybe about fifty of them over the course of months my initials and a number. And over time I sent them out into the world like those dollar bills with the weird George Washington tracker. I wanted to know if I would ever see those bills again. I wanted to see if confluence would bring at least one of them back to me.


So far, after what? Twenty years? I haven't gotten any of them again.


The other day I turned into a Half Price Books, and I saw a homeless dude on the island where I would have to turn on my way out. Whenever I can, I give them something. I made a promise to a friend, who is no longer in my life, that if she died, I would carry a pack of cigarettes with me to give smokes out to the homeless while at a stoplight. She's not gone yet, but it isn't a promise like from last night about the [name redacted sex move] on Urban Dictionary. I have no way to find him. If she dies, I'll hear about it, and I will fulfill that promise even though we don't care to be in each others' presence.


Side note: I got a lot of cool shit at that Half Price Books. I keep meaning to post a picture, but my life has been a bit hectic lately. I'm sure I'll do it sometime this upcoming week.


Anyway, when I saw that homeless dude, inspiration struck. When I brought my purchases up to the counter I asked if they sold Sharpies. She said no. I asked if she had one I could borrow for a second. She was reluctant, due to the plague. I knew I was OK, that she had nothing to worry about, but some people, if you say that to them they'll start to worry about it. But she slid one over to me, and I whipped a twenty out of my wallet. I wrote something different on this one. I wrote, "PASS IT ON." I pocketed it and slid the Sharpie back, but to the side so she wouldn't worry about it. She understood without me saying a word. See? The unsaid is sometimes the most important. Just like I said a few columns ago.


I got back to my car, and as I approached the intersection I held out my hand and waited. The homeless dude came up, God-blessed me and took the twenty.


So I'm asking you for a favor that you will probably never have to perform. I'm asking that if you ever find a $20 bill with PASS IT ON written in Sharpie on it to take a picture of it and send it to me here or on social media or wherever you know me from. Again, this is just a social experiment. An experiment with confluence.


Also, if by any chance you get a $20 bill with JB and a number on it, do the same. It'll probably never happen, but if it does, feel free to surprise me.

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