Since I'm sure you were all horrified by last night's GF, I figured, why not keep the horrors coming? In the time I was off I suffered another injury that could lead to the amputation of my left foot.
I don't have a lot of feeling in my feet. On the surface? Nothing. My pain comes from deep down in the bone. So I could probably walk across broken glass and not feel it.
Before I went on vacation I somehow got three terrible blisters on two of my toes. They're on the bad foot, but keep in mind, my good foot only has three complete toes, so . . . I don't know where these blisters came from. One was tiny and not an issue, but two were big and on a toe I'd like to keep. Not just because it's mine, but also because the corresponding toe on my good foot is gone. And these were blood blisters. I think I probably got them from not having my toes straightened out in my shoes.
At any rate, I took care of the blisters, and the small one healed first. The smaller one of the remaining two healed next, but that last fucker was hanging on for dear life. Finally, after about a month and a half of keeping an eye on this thing, the scab came off, leaving fresh skin underneath. Not that it makes the foot look better, of course. I'm super prone to scars on my feet, so the mark isn't ever going away. I imagine Dorian Gray's feet would look like mine if you could see them in the painting. But at least I wasn't going to lose my foot.
That joy lasted about a day.
The next day was a Sunday. Clean up day. Laundry day. Etc. So I went about my tasks for the day, and I was taking a final shit before I had to clean the bathroom when I noticed something odd. I was stepping in a weird red mark on the tiled floor.
Oh shit. Remember how I said I could walk across broken glass and not feel it?
I lifted my foot (the bad one) and saw that I was bleeding profusely from the sole. And the mark looked pretty big. I hadn't touched any of my dirty bits yet, so I felt around the wound. And would you look at that? The offending shard of glass was still in my foot.
(I also tried to figure out when it had happened. While I was writing downstairs one of my slippers came off. When I noticed it, I put it back on. So in my backwards sleuthing I looked in that slipper and saw a huge spot of blood. So that meant it had happened between me losing the slipper and putting it back on . . . which was three hours ago at that point.)
I folded up a couple of Kleenexes and pressed them into the blood so I could finish the shit, wipe, wash my hands and prepare for the horror of reaching my fingers into the wound to pull the glass out.
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| Actual photo of me removing glass from my foot. |
(I almost just posted the entire video clip just so I could call it "foot-age," but I'm not that cruel. And I'm just too tired to do a Crypt-keeper laugh right now.)
I pulled it out, and it was about the size of my thumbprint. I let it drop into the sink basin for the required tink! sound. And then I had to figure out how to stop the bleeding. I decided to let physics do that, so I got a gauze pad, folded it up and taped it to the bottom of my foot with maybe six feet of medical tape. I went about my day knowing that the situation would take care of itself.
After my shower that night I gave it a close examination. No blood. Nothing looked infected. There was still a pocket in my sole from where the glass had been, but I figured if I kept it clean, I wouldn't have any problems.
So far I have not. That was about a month ago. There is still a nick there, but you can't really tell why. I'm pretty sure I have this thing beaten, but I've learned something about the horrors. When they start, they never really stop. Kind of like when you go in for your first surgical procedure. Once the doctors get a taste for you, they just can't seem to stop cutting.
I'll take it easier on you tomorrow night. Oh! And don't think I've forgotten about my five-part GF series. Circumstances have delayed it, but it's getting done. I imagine it will happen the second week I'm back from hand surgery. Some folks might think I'm crossing the line with that series, but as with all pieces attacking abuse of power, I don't think it will go far enough.
We'll see. I've got a short one for you tomorrow. It won't even take you a minute to read. One for Monday. One for Tuesday. And then I'm going on break again.
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